February 27, 1998
Top Five Reasons why Computers Must be Female
Things we Would Never Know Without the Movies Part II
- No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
- Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
- The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Things we Would Never Know Without the Movies Part II
Click here for part I, which was in February 2, 1998's chuckle
- You can always rely on your car keys already being in the ignition when you get in the car, but if it's an emergency you can't find the keys anywhere.
- No one locks doors, and if they do, chances are there's a hatchet about to come through it.
- People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they're usually dead within minutes.
- An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
- If a large pane of glass is visible, it won't be long before someone is thrown through it.
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