June 4, 1998
Computer Definitions
- 486
- The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
- State-of-the-art
- Any computer you can't afford.
- Obsolete
- Any computer you own.
- Microsecond
- The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
- G3
- Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the
computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
- Syntax Error
- Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a
computer and money is no object."
- Hard Drive
- The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially
after a Syntax Error.
- Keyboard
- The standard way to generate computer errors.
- Mouse
- An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
- Floppy
- The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
- Portable Computer
- A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
- Disk Crash
- A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
- Power User
- Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
- System Update
- A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
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