August 17, 1998
Finding the Rabbit
The Los Angeles Police Department, the FBI, and the CIA were each trying to prove it was the best law enforcement agency. So the president released a rabbit into the woods and gave each agency a chance to do its stuff.
The CIA placed animal informants in and around the forest and questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, the CIA concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI sent its people into the woods. After two weeks with no leads, the agents burned the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. There were no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The the LAPD sent its people in. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling, "OK! OK! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

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