Yea...
To all the Brooklyn girls
To all the French girls
To all the Oriental girls
Chinese...
Japanese...
To all the Swiss girls
To the Italian women
To the upper east side Mombiles
To all the Jamaican girls
And to the top-less dancers
Australian...
And Brazilian
To the southern belles
To the Puerto Rican girls
To the stewardesses flying around the world...
INDEX

Shake Your Rump

Now I rock a house party at the drop of a hat Yea...
I beat a biter down with an aluminum bat
a lot of people they be Jonesin' just to hear me rock the mic
they'll be staring at the radio
staying up all night
so like a pimp I'm pimpin'
I got a boat to eat shrimp in
Nothing wrong with my leg just B-boy limpin'
Got arrested at the Mardi Gras for jumping on a float
My man MCA's got a beard like a billy goat
oowah oowah is my disco call
MCA I'm gettin' rope y'all
Routines I bust and the rhymes that I write
And I'll be busting routines and rhymes all night
Like eating burgers or chicken or you'll be picking your nose man
I'm on time homie... that's how it goes
You heard my style I think you missed the point
It's the joint

Mike D yea... with your bad self running things what was that...
With your bad breath onion rings
Well I'm Mike D and I'm back from the dead
Chillin' at the beach down at Club Med
Make another record 'cause the people they want more of this
Suckers they be saying they can take out Adam Horovitz
Hurricane you got clout
Other DJ's he'll put your head out
A puppet on a string I'm paid to sing or rhyme
Or do my thing I'm
In a lava lamp inside my brain hotel
I might be freakin' or peakin' but I rock well
The Patty Duke the wrench and then I bust the tango
Got more rhymes than Jamaica got Mango Kangols
I got the peg leg at the end of my stump
Shake your rump

A full clout ya'll, a full clout ya'll
And when the mic is in my mouth I turn it out ya'll
A full clout...
Never been dumped 'cause I'm the most mackinest
Never been jumped 'cause I'm known the most packinest
Yeah we've got beef chief
We're knocking out teeth chief
And if you don't believe us you should question your belief Keith
I'm Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat
Like Fred Flintstone driving around with bald feet
Should I have another sip no skip it
In the back of the ride and bust with the whippet
Rope a dope dookies all around the neck
Woo hah yo garcon the cheque
Running from the law the press and the parents
Is your name Michael Diamond?
No mine's Clarence
From downtown Manhattan the village
My style is wild and you know that it still is
Disco bag schlepping and you're doing the bump
Shake your rump
INDEX

Johnny Ryall

One, Two, Three, Four...(x3)
Oh..wine cooler..
Johnny Ryall is the bum on my stoop
I gave him fifty cents to buy some soup
He knows the time with the fresh Gucci watch
He's even more over than my mayor Ed Koch
Washing windows on the Bowery at a quarter to four
'Cause he ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more
Living on borrowed time and borrowed money
Sleepin' in the street there ain't a damn thing funny
With the hand me down food and hand me down clothes
A rockabilly past of which nobody knows
Makes his home all over the place
He goes to sleep by falling down on his face
Sometimes known as the leader of the homeless
Sometimes drunk man the kids always phoneless
Sleepin' on the street in a cardboard box
Better off drinkin' than smokin' the rocks

Johnny Ryall(x2)
Checkin' uptown
Checkin' downtown
Checkin' crosstown
Johnny Ryall(x2)

He drinks where he lies
He's covered with flies
He's got the hand me down Pumas and the tie dyes
Well you go upstate you get your head together
Thunderbird is the word and you're light as a feather
Detox at the flop house no booze allowed
Remember the good old days with the rockabilly crowd
Memphis is where he's from Um... in Tennessee
He lives in the street but he's no bum nope...
He's a rockabilly star from the days of old
He used to have teeth all filled with gold
He got a platinum voice but only gold records
On the bass was boots on the drums was checkers
Luis Vuitton with the Gucci guitar
Johnny Ryall
Who do you think you are

Johnny Ryall (x2)
Checkin' the night-train
Checkin' the O.E.
One, two, three, four(x4)

Donald Trump Donald Tramp living in the Men's Shelter
Wonder Bread bag shoes and singing Helter Skelter
He asks for a dollar you know what it's for
Man bottle after bottle he always need more
He's no less important than you working class stiffs
Drinks a lot of liquor but he don't drink piss
He's paid his dues playing the blues
He claims that he wrote the Blue Suede Shoes
Elvis shaved his head when he went into the army
That's right y'all his name is
Johnny
Kick it...
Johnny Ryall (x4)
Check the cooled wax...
INDEX

Egg Man

I looked out the window and seen his bald head
Ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg
Scoped him with my scopes he had no hair
Launched that shot and he was caught out there
Saw the convertible driving by
Loaded up the slingshot and let one fly
He went for his to find he didn't have one
Put him in check correct with my egg gun
The egg a symbol of life
Go inside your house and bust out your wife
I pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke
The trigger I pulled his face the yoke
Reached in his pocket took all his cash
Left my man standing with an egg moustache
Suckers they come a dime a dozen
When I say dozen you know what I'm talking about boy...
Yea that's right...
I'm the Egg Man
Driving around
King of the town
Yea...
Always got my windows rolled down
Ready to throw
You know I'm the Egg Man
Once upon a time
Egg Man...
Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg
He was playing the wall then he broke his leg
Tossed it out the window three minutes hot
Hit the Rastaman he said bloodclot
Which came first the chicken or the egg
I egged the chicken then I ate his leg
Riding the trains in between cars
When I pull out the station you're gonna get yours
Drive by eggings plaguing L.A.
Yo they just got my little cousin ese
Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny Ray
Comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy
People laugh, it's no joke
My name's Yauch and I'm throwing the yoke
Now they got me in a cell but I don't care
It was then that I caught catching people out there
Up on the roof, In my car
Up all night
I'm going through science like Dolemite
The Mack, Who
I'm the Egg Man, taxi driver...
I'm the Egg Man
Egg Man Egg Man
We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back
We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze's back
Sam I am down with the program
Green eggs and ham Yosemite Sam
Come Halloween you know I come strapped
I throw it at a sucker K-pap
You made the mistake and judge a man by his race
You go through life with egg on your face
Woke up in the morning peculiar feeling
Looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling
Families puck rocks the businessman
I'll dog anybody with an egg in my hand
Not like the crack that you put in a pipe
But crack on your forehead here's a towel now wipe

Egg Man, Egg Man Egg Man...
INDEX

High Plains Drifter

'Cause I'm a high plains drifter
And I'm the drifter
The high plains drifter
And I'm the drifter
They can't catch me they never gonna find me
They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter
Pulled over to the river to take a rest
Pulled out a pair of pliers pulled the bullet out of my chest
Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track
I reached behind the seat to snach a cool one from the pack
A long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular
She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were
Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display
Check out the odometer and I was on my way
Cause I'm a high plains drifter the best that you can get
A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed
Don't step to me cause you're gonna get mushed, cinaster...
I'm doing 120 plowing over mail boxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is
Spend another night at the Motel 6
It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks
And then I...
Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter
I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter
Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job
I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob
I left my car outside and the engine's still revvin'
Takin' care of business at 7-Eleven
And then
I went inside to make my withdrawal
I saw all that he had, but I had to take it all
Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price
So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice
Cause I'm mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade
Made my getaway and then I thought that I had it made
I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star
Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car
Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap
I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry
Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry
I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night
I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right
The cop knocked on my window and said Boy where's the fire
you've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire
*Outta the car longhair* your goose is cooked
Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked
Cause I'm a high...
Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury
Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry
Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury
High Plains Drifter you know what I'm never in a hurry
Read me my rights as if I didn't know this
Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis
With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer
My man turned to me and said why are you here?
I said I'm charming I'm dashing I'm rental car bashing
Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing
I went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D.
He said you behave or we'll throw away the key
Harry Houdini'd out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee
Took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B.
I had a good feeling easy come easy go
I bet on one horse to win and another just for show
And sure enough that nag came in
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win
And then I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger
Hot wired hot wheeled and Suzy is a headbanger
INDEX

Sounds Of Science

Now here we go dropping science dropping it all over
Like bumping around the town like when you're driving a Range Rover
Expanding the horizons and expanding the parameters
Expanding the rhymes of sucker M.C. amateurs
Naugels, Isaac Newton A Scientific E.Z.
A Ben Franklin with the kite a getting over with the key
Now rock shocking the mic as many times times the times tables
Rock well to tell dispel all of the old fables
Cause I've been dropping the new science and I've been kicking the new ka-knowledge
An M.C. to a degree that you can't get in college
The dregs of the earth and the eggs that I eat
I've got pegs through my hands and one through my feet
Shea Stadium the radium E M D squared
Got kicked out of the Palladium you think that I cared
It's the sound of science
The sounds of science
Science...
Rope a dope
The newest in new
Right up to your face and dis you
Waxin' and milkin'
All ya'll square heads...

Time and money for girls covered with honey
You lie and aspire to be as cunning
Reeling and rockin' and rollin' B size D cup
Order the quarter deluxe why don't you wake up
My mind is kinda flowin like an oil projector
Had to get up to get the Jimmy protector
Went berserk and worked and exploded
She woke up in the morning and her face was coated
Buddy you study the man on the mic
D. do what you like
Huh D.
Drunk a skunk am I from the celebration
To peep that freak unique penetration
I figured out who makes the crack
It's the suckers with the badges and the blue jackets
A professor of science cause I keep droppin' it
I smell weak cause you keep poppin' it
And people always asking what's the phenomenon
Yo what's up yo what's going on
No one really knows what I'm talking about
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch
Ponce De Leon constantly on
The fountain of youth not Robotron
Peace is a word I've heard before
So move and move and move upon the dance floor
I'm gonna die gonna die one day
Cause I'm goin and goin and goin this way
Not like a roach or a piece of toast
I'm going out first class ain't going out coach
Rock my Adidas never rock Fila
I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla
Well...
With my nose I knows and with my scopes I scope
What I live I write and that is strictly rope
I've got science for any occasion
Postulating theorems formulating equations
Cheech wizard in a snow blizzard
Eating chicken gizzards with a girl named Lizzy
Dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange
INDEX

3-Minute Rule

I stay up all night I go to sleep watching Dragnet
Never sleep alone because Jimmy is the magnet
I'm so rope they call me Mr. Roper
When the troubles arise you know I'm the cool coper
On the mic I score just like the Yankees
Get over on Ms. Crabtree like my main man Spankee
Excuse me young lady I don't mean to trouble ya
But you're looking so fly inside your B.M.W.
I got lucky I brought home the kitten
Before I got busy I schlepped on the mitten
Can't get better odds because I'm a sure thing
Proud Mary keeps on turning and rolling like a Ring Ding
Jump the turnstile never pay the toll
Doo wa diddy and bust with the pre-roll
Customs jailed me over an herb seed
Don't rat on your boy over some rat weed
I'm outta your back door
I'm into another
Your boyfriend doesn't know about me and you're mother
Not perfect grammar always perfect timing
The Mike stands for money and the D. is for diamonds

Roses are red the sky is blue
I got my barrel at your neck so what the fuck you gonna do
It's just two wheels and me the wind in my eyes
The engine is the music and my nine's by my side
Cause you know why a you see H.
I'm takin' all M.C.'s out of the place
Takin' life as it comes no fool am I
I'm goin' off gettin' paid and I don't ask why
Playin' beats on my box makin' music for the many
Know alota def girls that'll do anything
A lot of parents like to think I'm a villain
I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan
Yea I smoke cheeba it helps me with my brain
I might be a little dusted but I'm not insane
People come up to me and they try to talk shit man
I was making records when you were sucking on your mother's dick

Girl you're walking tall now in your fancy clothes
You got fancy things their going up your nose
You gettin' fancy gifts from expensive men
You're a dog on a leash like a pig in a pen
Mothership connection getting girl's affection
If your life needs correction don't follow my direction
You got your 8 by 10 your agent your Harley
You be driving around Hollywood with yo sorry charlie
Cause I'm running things like some Mack motherfucker
You slipin' you slackin' cause you're a false fake sucker
You slip you slack you clock me and you lack
While I'm reading on the road by my man Jack Kerouac
Poetry in motion coconut lotion
Had to diss the girl because she got too emotional
Are you experienced little girl
I want to know what goes on in your little girl world
Cause I'm on your mind It's hard to forget me
I'll take your pride for a ride if you let me
So peace out ya'll, a PCP song out
Full throttle to the bottle and full full clout
And I'm out...
Waa...
INDEX

Hey Ladies
Hey...
Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya
There never was a city kid truer and bluer
There's more to me than you'll ever know
And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh
Ton Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery
Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon
And I'm always out looking for a female companion
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib
I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing
I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling
Your body's on time and your mind is appealing
Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling
Such and such will be the bass that I'm throwing
Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing
She's talking to the kid to the who
I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did

Hey ladies... a get funky
All the ladies in the house
The ladies the ladies
Well...

Me in the corner with a good looking daughter
I dropped my drawers and it was welcome back Kotter
We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet
In my apartment I begged her please stop it
The gift of gab is the gift that I have
And that girl ain't nothing but a crab
Educated no stupid yep
And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh
I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge
I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large
With the white sassoons and the looks that kill
Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville then
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie
Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around
You be listening to my records' a number one sound
Just step to the rhythm step step to the ride
I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside
Tune in tune on to my tune that's live
Ladies flock like bees to a hive

Hey ladies a get funky
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Girls girls
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
One more time, any funky now
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Any funky
You know that

She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore
She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door
Break up with your girl it ended in tears
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear
Call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking
Said come on over it was me that she missed
I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed
Your old lady left you and you went (girls girls girls) insane
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train, well...
Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak man
Sucking down pints till I didn't know
Woke up in the morning at the one Ton Ho
Cause I announce I like girls that bounce
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce
Girls with curls and big long locks
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks
Walking high and mighty like she's #1
She thinks she's the passionate one

Hey ladies... a get funky
What's that
Good god
Good god, damn
Good god
Baby baby baby baby
Is it funky brother
Hee haa haa haa...
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies
Hey, hey ladies
INDEX

Five Piece Chicken Dinner

Jeb.. get away from the bar-b-que man
Don... get the hell away from that thing
Don's, give me a kiss
Won't you come and give me a kiss
INDEX

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun

I'mmmmm...
Rolling down the hill I'm snowballing getting bigger
An explosion in the chamber the hammer from the trigger
I seen him get stabbed I watched the blood spill out
He had more cuts than my man Chuck Chillout
24 is my age and 22 is my gauge
I'm writing rhymes on a page I'm going off in a rage
Cause I'm out on a mission a stolen car mission
Had a small problem with the transmission
3 on the train in the middle of the night
I have this steak on my head cause I got into a fist fight
Life comes in phases take the good with the bad
You bought the coins on the street holmes... and you got had
Because it's all high spirit you know you gotta hear it
Don't touch the mic baby don't come near it
It's gonna get you it's gonna get you
It's gonna get you girl it's gonna get you
Looking down the barrel of a gun
Son of a gun son of a bitch
Getting paid getting rich
Ultra violence be running through my head
Cole Madenia y'all making me see red
Rapid fire Louie like Rambo got bullets
I'm a gonna die harder like my kid Bruce Willis
I love girlies waxing and milking
Co-ordinating chimp is my man Dave Smokie
Predetermined destiny is who I am
You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam I am
Like Clockwork Orange going off on the town
I've got homeboys bonanza to beat your ass down
Well I'm mad at my desk and I'm writing all curse words
Expressing my aggressions through my schizophrenic verse words
You're a headless chicken chasin' a sucker free basin
Looking for a fist to put your face in
Well get hip, get hip don't slip you knuckle heads
Racism is schism on the serious tip
INDEX

Car Thief

Some static started in the pool hall
Hit a motherfucker's face with the cue ball
Then I met this girl she tried to gank me
So I smacked her in the booty with a Plank Bee
Cause me and my crew were out breaking windows
The bingo the lotto you know I'll never win those
Possession is half the law
I had my routines before all y'all
Your whole life is coming apart at the seams
You ain't nothing but a car thief biting routines
See I'm a city slicker I ain't no townie
Right now I wish I had another hash brownie
Like Ricky always said you've got to toke and pass
Or Mookie's gonna kick your fuckin' ass
You try to take what isn't yours like a God damn rat
See I personally I wouldn't even to go out like that
I'm a writer a poet a genius I know it
I don't buy cheeba I grow it
I'm a farmer
People always trying to get next to me
I had a beautiful experience on ecstasy
Smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer
Because I had to deal with a money hungry miser
Had a caine filled Kool with my man Rush Rush
Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush
You be doing nose candy on the Bowie Coke Mirror
My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her
You can't deny me you always want to try me
Yo you're just gonna get your ass kicked
Homeboy throw in the towel
Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell
The Godfather of Soul in the belly of the beast
Smoking that dust at St. Anthony's Feast
All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters
Sitting in the White House pulling their peters
Buy my cheeba from the cop down the street
The only cop with a rope chain walking the beat
Like a sneaky pouch time bomb tickin'
Like the beat to my rhyme just kickin'
Space cake cookies I discover who I am
I'm a dusted old bummy Hurdy Gurdy Man
Five-O caught me now I'm going to the mountains
Said good-bye to my girl my lawyers and accountants
My mind is kinda rhymin and I think I oughta think
So I'm rockin all the rhymes and I'll have another drink
So the lights are flashing my mind is spinning
I feel like it is always the beginning
Of another rhyme I'm rapping M.C.'ing I rock
You ain't nothing but a car thief who must be stopped
INDEX

What Comes Around

Overripe fresh skeezed California females
With 3-inch cherry red press-on Lee nails
Reach into my mind for the rhymes I'm seeking
Like a garbage bag full overflowing, please, now it's leaking
Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair
So I can climb up and get into your underwear
Rat soup eating test cheating no business punk
You're insecure born in the junkyard with the junk
You've gone wet look crazy and messed with your head
You fucked around and wound up with the bald skin head
You're all mixed up like pasta primavera
Yo why'd you throw that chair at Geraldo Rivera man...
Cause one man's ceiling is another man's floor
Yo get that money out of your ass you whore
I brought her upstairs onto the roof
I dogged your wife and she is a doofus

What goes around
Comes around
And what goes around, comes around
What goes around
Comes around
And what comes around, goes around
Chosen bound
Fully down
Feelin' down
Huh
Yo homes your nose is brown

Clean B cleaning the G spot you know that we've got
The Dolemite's house and you have not
Look out my window look over the city
With two black eyes your girl ain't that pretty
Why you wanna beat that brat with a bat
Why you wanna treat your girl like that
Living in the rat race smoking rat weed
Well you reap what you sow when you plant the seed
Bum cheese on rye with ham and prosciutto
Got more Louie than Phillip Rizzuto

What goes around
Comes around
And what goes around, comes around
What goes around
Comes around
And what comes around, goes around
What goes around
Inevibility
Comes around
What
And what goes around, comes around
What goes around
You know it
Comes around
What, check it check it
Check it
What, what what what...
Funky, damn
A funky pam pam pam pam...
Bam bam bam...
F.D. in the house ya'll
Funky, funky...
F.D.
Funky funky, F.D., funky funky...
Fuck it...
Agh everybody, funky pam...
Bam bam bam slam, Alabama
And kick it, Al-a fuckin' bama
I slam a saki hammer
And chillin'
Like penicillin
Like panasaursas
Funky...
Doris the fink-a saursas
Haa haa haa...
INDEX