Frank and Our Little Debbie-
She's such a cupcake!

Yes, girls, he's SINGLE!! But the latest reports have him listed as "UNAVAILABLE" (!) Not sure exactly what that means, but he's been asking Fred and Janet's advise on cheap air fare. Don't worry: We turned him on to 1-800-FLY CHEAP! So, look out! Now Frank's trollin' for trouble all over the country! Ladies, not only can he dance, he's serves up a mean bottle of Fat Cat Cab. And, there's even a rumor floating around that he can cook! (although we've never tasted the evidence!) We hear that if you ask real nice, he'll even show you his World Champion Gold Medals he won in Competition "Twister"! But, don't get your hopes up: I think he's having the word "UNAVAILABLE" tattooed on his forehead.

And even though some call him "Homeless Frank", we're here to tell ya; he's the nicest Trailer Trash of anyone we know! Why, Frank's been tossed outta more trailor parks than the worst of the riff-raff, and that's fine by us! Just because you don't have a computer, or a phone, or a permanent address doesn't mean you can walk all over him. (In fact, take your shoes off before you enter his motorhome, ok?)

• Q: So, Frank, do you really actually skydive?! Just how many jumps ya got, fella?

• A: 2950, to be exact. I go over my log book every night before I turn in. It's great reading material. Andy will agree. He says it puts him right to sleep.

• Q: Why do you like doing 8-way? Or don't you??

  A: Oh, sure, I like it OK, mostly because of the precision and the finesse, just like me.

  Q: Why do you compete?

  A: I do it to make myself better, and just to piss off the competition.

  Q: What's your favorite block?

  A: Bear trap! I like the Christmas in the moves.

  Q: So, what was your most memorable skydive?

  A: Well, oddly enough, it was actually a 3-point 11-way out of 3 cessna's from 8500 ft. for my 1000th jump, in Cedar Valley, Utah. It was expensive, but I was awesome.

  Q: Didn't I see that stunt in a Bond movie?? Well, moving right along, do you ever think of profound thoughts on skydiving???

  A: Nope.

  Q: Do you ever have any profound thoughts on anything?

  A: Nope. I try to avoid straining my brain at all times.

You could e-mail Frank, in fact you can click on this line all day, but it isn't gonna do any good.

Like I said, this guy doesn't even have a phone!!

Wanna meet another team member?

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