 Hey, if Paul has time (and if you ask him), I think we could talk him into telling the story behind all these strange lyrics. If you have an undying need to know then talk to us and maybe we'll figure something out right there on the spot. These aren't the actual lyrics that Paul sing at shows. Often times (and don't tell me I told you) he makes them up. So,talk to Paul before any show and he'll make up special lyrics just for you. Really. I HATE ALANIS MORISETTE======================== YOU OUGHTA KNOW that you really suck! Isn't it IRONIC youre just in it for the fuckin bucks You said you've lived and now YOU've LEARNed Step out of the spotlight 'cause its someone elses turn I hate Alanis Morisette (X2) The music she wrote has all been cursed Cause I feel myself getting closer to death every time I hear another verse She suceeded if her mission was to bore us I think I'm gonna be sick if I hear another whining yoddeling chorus I Hate Alanis Morisette (X8) because she's bad APPLES MAKE US SICK ==================== Stop off at Burger King Where I'll make you my burger queen and we'll wed with an onion ring Or Chicken Kentucky Fried I'm asking will you be my bride? Someday we'll take home a family meal She says she wants to marry me Apples make us sick We both hate the Tragically Hip We like the smell of gasoline We think drinking is fun We peed in our pants in class in grade one we are constantly chewing gum She says she wants to marry me (and she knows) She always gives me space to breathe (and she knows) I stink, I'll take a shower She's right there with soapy water She says she wants to marry me I WISH I WAS JOEY JARIMIAH =========================== I wish I was Joey Jarimiah I would never do my homework I would stay up late and Dream about Caitlin I would never kick Wheels out of my house.... (maybe I would) I would walk around the caf naked Just to get the car of my dreams Everyone would think Im so cool I'd wear crazy hats to school Yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeaaaah! Woah Woah Woah I wish I was Joey Jarimiah Woah Woah Woah I wish I was Joey Jarimiah I wish I was Joey Jarimiah That would be dynamite! CUZ I ONLY THINK OF YOU ======================== We were in grade 10 And I stalked you and your boyfriend I'd cut off his winkie to get her 'Sorry I dont know anything about that, officer' Cuz I only think of you! (You know that it's true) Cuz I only think of you! (You know that I do)(X2) Nananananananana Staring at you in the caf How I'd like to grab that ass But the last time I did that she got mean 'Cmon stop screaming - youre gonna make a scene' Cuz I only think of you (you know that it's true) Cuz I only think of you (you know that I do)(X2) My friends think I'm insane I cant get you off my brain But do you really know How I stalked you so... (Oh yeah) Cuz I only think of you (you know that its true) Cuz I only think of you (you know that I do)(X2) BEING NEUTERED =============== Do you really wanna know me or Is there somethin that you wanna show me Baby, dont hold out.... Cant belive you would even talk to me I look like shit, is this how you saw me What's this all about? But it's not me It's not you It's not her But I just hate Being Neutered(X2) HERE WE GO! I always knew that you'd walk away But I cant believe that youre doin it today Cmon just stay.....PLEASE?!?! She always was the coolest hippie Walking around and her style just hit me as cool And that's what she was But it's not me It's not you It's not her But I just hate Being neutered I never even get her name right But I always think of her late at night I'm infatuated....(Ryan?) In my dreams she comes right up to me Whispering something to do with whipped cream (Yummy) Then I wake up (boo hoo) But it's not me It's not you It's not her But I just hate Being neutered And it's not me It's not you It's not her But I just hate Being neutered I HATE HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH =============================== Well, I got into a fight once with this guy His name is Adam something and I'll tell you why, oh yeah He said he listened to Hootie all goddamn day He thinks he's cool And he calls me gay (that's not very nice) I Hate Hootie and the Blowfish (X4) I don't care how my records you've sold Or what single of yours has just gone gold, oh yeah I care about one thing and this is it.... (That band Hootie is just a pile of SHIT) I Hate Hootie and the Blowfish (X4) I hate them, I think that they really suck If they came to my house I'd lock the door Actually I'd open up the door, just so I could cut off their stupid heads Then I guess, I'd have to saw off their arms, just so they could never play guitar I think that they really really really really suck Oh no...no no no! SHAVE YOUR MOHAWK ================== There's more to music than what's on your radio (and there's) enough counter-culture to stuff down everyone's throat Just like there's more to life than what's outside your window (and it's) kind of funny, this is the only place you've ever known...yeah! SHAVE YOUR....MOHAWK Cause I'm not cool enough To get one SHAVE YOUR....MOHAWK Youre a hippy and a hippocrite yeah So what're you gonna do when you look around and find out you Turned out just like everybody else And all those "ideologies" with which you felt so passionately Weren't even held up by your own true self...oh yeah! Steel toe boots? Aw man, youre cool You may have a mohawk but youre still a fool If crout polka was underground and cool you'd see The punky boys turn into crout polka freaks SHAVE YOUR....MOHAWK Cause I'm not cool enough To get one SHAVE YOUR....MOHAWK Youre a hippy and a hypocrite And a liar GEEK! THE KIND OF PEOPLE =================== I bet you think you're stylin when You know you can beat the shit out of some grade 10 I bet you feel all warm and fuzzy inside When youre around we have to swallow our pride And you want (Ooooh) And you need (Ooooh) But I choose (Ooooh) Not to fit in with you(X2) WHO DA BITCH NOW? - lyrics by the mysterious ZFT =================== Pastel houses, curved streets 2.35 kids out back Knucklehead anti-semite jocks! (see Hate Mail section!) Using dad's mooney to buy crack And if one more yuppie crosses my path Well I'll make sure that he feels my wrath I'll take his balding head and shove it up his ass! I'll say WHO DA BITCH NOW, WHO DA BITCH NOW, WHO?! Mom's hair is gray Oh but you wouldn't know...oh no With all those blonde highlight streaks! The rose window is sure to glow And if one more yuppie crosses my path Well I'll make sure that he feels my wrath I'll take his balding head and shove it up his ass! I'll say WHO DA BITCH NOW, WHO DA BITCH NOW, WHO?! YEAH! PORK AND BEANS (lyrics by Paul and the mysterious ZFT) =================== We made an Eww...You're a Girl CD We slapped a barcode on that thing We even put it in HMV In hopes of piles of money! We recorded with punk rock king Simon Head We did our best to sound like Blink 182 We're putting the punk rock scene to bed! And we'll sell out until we're dead! I wanna be the one, I wanna be the one, I wanna be the one to sell out with you Well we've all got the patented rock star attitudes Needless to say, we are all rock and roll bad dudes Yeah, the record is out - the units shipped We'll be bigger than the Doors No more making requests tonight IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MUSIC ANYMORE! I wanna be the one, I wanna be the one, I wanna be the one to sell out with you ============================================================== All lyrics ©1998, 1999 Moodswing Music (If you rip us off, we won't hurt you or anything - we'll just let your conscience sort you out...AHHHH HA-HA-HA!) All words by paul unless indicated otherwise |