Going the Distance
The big day came for our trip to Moab. 4 of us were leaving in 2 cars from Sacramento, stopping in Reno to pick up Eric. Dan and I and Eric were down for Dan's car, and Keith and Brian were riding in Brian's fatass truck. We all agreed to try to leave by 4:00 pm, so Dan and I arranged to get off work early. When I called Keith at Precision Bicycles, he admitted that he hadn't yet talked to his co-worker Terry about leaving earlier than the normal 6:30 closing time. This was at 1:00 on Thursday, the day of departure. Good thing the rest of us made plans, eh? Fortunately Keith bailed on responsibility and left Terry alone for the afternoon. Hopefully it didn't get too busy.
We got to Reno around 6:00 and rolled up to Deux Gros Nez, a bitchin' little cafe in the Reno burbs. They're pretty into biking there, and they have various memorabilia from pro riders like Greg Lemond, plus good coffee. I recommend you check 'em out. We loaded up Eric, waited a few minutes for Keith and Brian to show up, and away we went. Since Dan's car only gets 200 miles on a tank of gas (at least at 80 mph with 3 bikes), we finally stuffed all the bikes into the back of Brian's truck. This dramatically improved our mileage and power.
I was too excited about the trip to sleep very effectively in the car. Finally, just before dawn, I grabbed a 40 minute nap coming through Carbon county. I musta fooled my body, cuz i woke at sunrise feeling refreshed. At around 8:00 AM we rolled into Moab and headed to the Golden Stake for breakfast.
My internet research had suggested that Porcupine rim was a pretty fun trail. It was early so we elected to park at slickrock and ride the trail as a loop. When we got out of the car, it was smoking like a Cheech and Chong movie. Earlier, we thought the smoke was due to the JiffyLube guy slopping oil somewhere when Dan got the oil changed. We figured that 800 miles oughtta burn off any residue though. When dan checked the oil, it was pretty much empty. What the hell, does Marzocchi moonlight building engines for Subaru? We planned to just grab some more oil on our way back to the car and wait and see what the story was. While Dan and I waited for the others to get dressed (for some reason it takes keith longer than my wife to get dressed) we rode the slickrock practice loop. It took all of 15 minutes, and gave us a good little warmup.
Once the others were finally ready, we started up the gently climbing dirt road to the trailhead. After a couple miles Brian gave up. He was whining about feeling sick and stuff. I guess that's what you get when you only ride your mountain bike once every 6 months. He went back to the car to nap and the rest of us kept climbing.
To my amazement, we kept getting passed by cars full of bikers driving up to the trailhead. Why anyone would want to do a shuttle for this ride I can't imagine. You'd have to be a real wuss. It takes just as long to drive back and forth as it does to just ride the damn thing. Even if you have some jacked up, heavy-ass, freeride piece o' crap, it's a pretty easy ride through town to complete the loop.
After about 6 miles we reached the trailhead. It was easy to recognize because there were 8 zillion people milling about with pink dog rear view mirrors. We were kind of frightened by the quantity and quality of the throng, so we headed up the trail without stopping.
The first part of the trail is a rocky jeep-trail climb. I was happy to be riding my 22 lb race bike, but i was sort of missing the suspension seatpost. I brought it along to Moab, but was too lazy to change it before the ride. We passed a few small groups of riders, all of whom were going awfully slowly. Maybe they have to shuttle it so they can finish by nightfall.
After 20 mins or so of climbing, we reached the top and started to head down. The best way to describe this part of the trail is "rocks". We were pretty stoked to be riding though, so we weren't complaining. These rocks are big enought to require you to carefully pick a line. I was running my trademark sub-30 psi tire pressure, so i had to be extra careful not to slam into anything too huge.
Right near the top of the climb is High Anxiety overlook. It's clear why it's called that. You come flying down a steep rocky section and start to drift the bike around a left hand turn, then you stop when you see the full-on cartoon view from up there. It's about a zillion foot drop straight down from the overlook, so you don't want to drift too far. It's hard to believe that the terrain in Moab is reaI. It looks like it came straight out of road runner-coyote cartoon, with huge cliffs and 1000 foot high mesas and everything. At least if you do overcook the turn you have a few seconds to run back out of mid-air before you start to fall (cartoon physics). I climbed out onto a little rock outcropping that sticks 3-4 feet over the abyss so Keith could take my picture. I realize the earth is pretty sturdy, but I was highly anxious sitting there waiting for Keith to figure out how to wind his disposable econo-camera.
While we were checking out the view a group of guys pulled up who appeared not to be complete geeks. They had real mountain bikes that looked like they saw real use. One of them asked me how I liked the Genesis geometry of my Gary Fisher SuperCaliber frame. Just like anyone who's actually ridden one, i responded that I thought all bikes would have similar geometry before long, because it works incredibly well. So this guy says "yeah, manitou's been doing that for a while." ... What the?...Where the hell do people get this misinformation? I've been searching for weeks, trying to find any evidence of any production bike suitable for 6-foot tall rider that has a 24.5" or longer top tube. I haven't yet had any success. If you're the first to find a frame or a catalog or something that proves such things existed, I'll cheerfully send you 10 bucks. Anyway, we proved the superiority of our bikes by rocketing down the hill and never seeing those guys again.
So we're going down hill some more. Rocks, sand, ledges, you name it. Every now and then we get to a semi-technical section where we have to pay close attention. We passed a group of about 10 guys right at some cool ledgy stuff. As a greeting I boosted fat-monkey-air off one of the ledges. Eventually we reached what we thought was pretty much the bottom, complete with a fat rocky drop that i think only I rode (ego boost noted). We were in pretty good spirits as we pedaled along a sandy doubletrack, having enjoyed a fun ride with nice views.
Woops! Not done yet. The trail all of the sudden narrowed to singletrack and started doing the groovy twisty thing. We flew through an alternating series of bermed corners and rocky trials-like dips and bumps, occasionally noting as we drifted through turns, that we were on the edge of a big fat cliff. I was pretty much all the way in the zone that day. I felt like I could do no wrong. Never have I ridden so fast and so confidently through such sketchy terrain.
We rode pretty much everything except one switchback drop into a creek crossing, and I even tried to ride that. I dabbed at the top, then walked down around the curve and got back on. I got about 10 feet down the rocks when I started to lose it, and I found myself fending off the side of the hill with one foot while I bounced around like a rodeo clown. Fortunately I managed to stop without launching, but I almost split my sides with laughter. Then we went zipping on, fast and furious, doing a great impression of guys who could ride.
Right at the bottom, there was a photographer. I naturally launched fat air (for me), but over-rotated and landed way forward on my front wheel. I came just about 1 micron from stacking in a heap, but my Genesis geometry fisher saved me from my own clumsiness.
I had only two thoughts when I reached the bottom. First, I should start doing downhill, and I should drive all night before every race from now on. Second, I should hunt down and kill everyone I know who's ever done this trail and not told me how utterly awesome it was. I don't know if it was the sleep deprivation or what, but I'd have to say the Porcupine rim trail was one of the highlights of my entire life.
After we recovered our sanity we headed back through town towards the slickrock parking lot. We were undecided about whether to taunt Brian mercilessly for missing one of the best rides ever, or to considerately play it down. Even though he was rejuvenated from his nap, we ended up feeling too sorry for him to really taunt with proper gusto.
Every guidebook, every magazine, every webpage says slickrock is a "must-do" trail when in Moab. Clearly this is because most people are clueless dorks. We waited while keith put a new xt rear derailleur on his bike (he's too dang dumb to just use ESP), then we set off over the fabled slickrock. Right away we noticed the preponderance of huffy's on the trail. I don't think I've ever seen so many crappy bikes on one trail in my life.
If you haven't ridden slickrock, it's pretty much straight up, straight down and bumpy. Why the hell do the call it slickrock anyway? They should call it bumpybouncyrock. Here and there were sections that were so steep that it was sort of entertaining to ride them, taking advantage of the high traction. In general though, the whole thing was pretty glaringly non-technical. Maybe that's why it's so popular.
After discussing this with more experienced moab-ites it seems that we made a mistake in just following the dotted trail marker. Those in the know say that there is fun technical terrain all over, and you can pretty much go where you want on the slickrock without fear of hurting it. Perhaps next time we'll explore some off trail stuff.
The one cool thing about slickrock was that pretty much everyone else there was so wretchedly inept that even after driving all night and riding hard all morning, we still felt like pretty bad dudes. Most other rides around Moab have significant chunks of slickrock, most notably Gold Bar Rim and Poison Spider, but you can't show off for the chicks as much. Of course Gold Bar Rim has some pretty technical bits, so the chance of stacking in a heap is far greater. At slickrock you only need a rudimentary feel for traction and balance to look like superman.
After the ride, which took almost 2 hrs including stopping to check out the views and stuff, we all agreed that the official slickrock trail was lame. I'm glad I rode it, just so I know, but If I ride there again, I'll be doing some exploring away from the trail.
Day 2 (Gold Bar/Poison Spider/Portal trail)