What's OPF???
The concept of OPF originated the same way that most ideas are formed. Five of us were drunk one night and babbling about paintball. We were talking about style, purdy guns, and PBR tallboys in your harnesses. It was still funny when we sobred up and so it stuck. Moreover, it's a damned useful term. It's an acronym that stands for Overall Panache Factor. I won't define Overall or Factor for you (do it yourself!) but I'll go ahead and give you Panache because almost nobody I talk to knows what this word means.
pa·nache n
1: distinctive and stylish elegance; "he wooed her with the confident dash of a cavalry officer" [syn: dash, elan,
flair, style]
2: a feathered plume on a helmet
Of course, I'm not talking about the featherd plume, but that would be a good example of OPF. OPF is a direct relation to how "cool" something is, or how stylishly it's done. A chrome plated marker is a lot more stylish than a plastic one with scratches and spray paint. Also, a player wearing camoflage doesn't have as much flair as someone with a clown suit that has a twig duck taped to his mask for a disguise.
Dave, I know you're reading this. I know you'll do this at the next game. just remember that if someone shoots the twig, you're still out. Commie.
Even someone with no idea what OPF is can have it. Style Is Everything. Two guys are hiding behind bunkers. the first guy is crouched really tight fumbling to get more paint into his hopper. The second guy is taking paintballs out of his hopper and writing names on them. He has a beer in his harness with HIS name on it. Which guy do you think has more OPF? Sure, the first guy has 5 points just for playing tight, but the second guy stopped to comb his hair and plays with a Sharpie in his pocket! That's at least 30 points.
How do we judge OPF? There isn't a scale set in stone, but nothing gets more than 100 points. Ever. You can have multiple scores on things that can add up to over a hundred, but each aspect gets graded individually. To give you an idea of scoring method, see the examples below.
You're being shot at. What do you do?
- A: Hide behind a bunker
- You only get one point for being smart. Two if you look good doing it. 3 if you dive over the bunker to get behind it.
- B: Hide behind a bunker and talk some smack
- This is worth at least 3 points. You get more points based upon how good you are at talking smack. Especially if they're inappropriate for one reason or another.
"So this is what it feels like to be your mom!"
"Sucker, now I've got you where I want you!"
"You fool, you've fallen for my trap!"
"Cool, I found a quarter!"
"This is your last chance to call yourself out!"
"Boy, don't make me come out there!"
"Damn, bitch! I can still smell your breath from here."
- C: Stay out in the open and try to dodge the paintballs
- This kicks ass to watch but you'll almost always get hit in the long run if you're not far away enough. The question is whether the paint will break or not, or if they'll run out of paint soon enough. 10 points even if you lose. 20 if you mug the guy while he's reloading.
- D: Try to catch the paint in your mouth
- No, it won't taste like a peanut or cheese ball, but it's worth 20 points if it works. Don't try this if you have a mouth guard (duh!)
- E: ...and then blow it out your nose at them if you do.
- Catch one in your mouth, that is. I never want to meet anyone who can actually blow a whole paintball through their nostral. If they can, it's probably because they tried to catch the paintballs in their mouth and missed once. I'd reccomend a plastic surgeon.
What's your paintball gun like?
- A: It's old and smells funny
- Um... I might give you half a point just because it smells funny
- B: It's brand spankin' new. Right out of the box!
- 0. There's nothing extra cool about a stock paintball gun
- C: But I bought it from a custom house, like Palmers Pursuit Shop
- Ok, ok, I am familiar with the works of places like them. Palmer, Carter, Spanky, Planet, Etc etc etc... That's worth 10 points
- D: I spent over a thousand dollars on this stock marker
- Will you loan me some cash? I'll give you 10 points if you do.
- E: I spent over a thousand dollars on this stock marker that originally cost $100
- Ok, that's kinda cool. I like seeing custom milled, splash anodized or chromed PGPs and Trracers modified to be autococking dual regulated and using an HPA system. That's my next project! 25 points.
- F: The rhinestones keep falling off of my marker and the monkey I have chained to my crotch no longer makes any noise when I get shot there
- .............................................. 45 points. Now get away.
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