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Dark Moments
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Never in my life have I ever been so disappointed with a person before. I always thought that my friends would never change and that they were the best of all people until I saw her again. It was my best friend from primary school. I shall not reveal her identity here. On 16th March 2003, I went to Chong Pang for lunch. It was pleasant to have lunch with my family. Then I saw her at a shoe shop in Chong Pang.

She was a changed person. Her hair was dyed and she had her eyes brows pricked so that she looks like a typical Singapore "Ah lian". I was shocked to see how much she has changed. She stared at me but somehow I couldn't bring myself to call her not because of her "ah lian" look but because of the way she broke our friendship. Somehow when I knew her in primary school, the last thing I would ever have thought of is of her becoming the way she is today. She was so innocent at that time. Her actions were so gentle. But today...

I do not know why but I began to blame myself for her change. I told myself if during my primary school days, we had continued to be friends, maybe today she would not have become like that. Maybe she could talked to me about her problems and I could guide her to the correct path. Why didn't I continue to be friends with her? I was terribly affected. Perhaps it's because she was once my best friend, someone I wanted to help so much. Why? This feeling of guilt was deepened when I ran into another childhood friend 2 days later.

Like her, he has together changed. His Mum told me he flanked his "O"s again, 3 times in a row. Was it because of the way I disturbed him in the past that ruined his pride? The worst thing was he told his Mum "He hated me and never want to have anything to do with me."What did I do wrong? Was it me? I was deeply saddened by my meeting with these two people who used to be very close to me.

For a few days, I search my conscience. What did I do wrong? Did I cause such a change? But until today, I still can't find the answers to my questions... My friends told me not to blame myself too much. But each time I think of these two people, I feel a pain in my heart. Why must they change? Perhaps in my eyes, my friends are so beautiful and I really don't expect them to change. Today I just have to face reality that they have really changed. Deep in my heart, I still hope that one day probably I can help them to change. But guess all these are going to be a really difficult task... Perhaps in my dreams, I can achieve that. Dreams are my only way of communication to them now...
Background Music:
A thousand hurting reasons(Jacky Cheung)
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