Please read and ignore the following disclaimer

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This product is meant for educational purposes only.  Any resemblance to real
     persons living or dead is purely coincidental.  Void where prohibited.  Some
    assembly required.  List each check separately by bank number.  Batteries not
   included.  Contents may settle during shipment.  Use only as directed.  No other
warranty expressed or implied.  Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy
equipment.  Postage will be paid by addressee.  Subject to CAB approval.  This is not
an offer to sell securities.  Apply only to affected area.  May be too intense for some
  viewers.  Do not stamp.  Use other side for additional listings.   For recreational use
 only.  Do not disturb.  All models over 18 years of age.  If condition persists, consult
  your physician.  No user serviceable parts inside.  Freshest if eaten before date on
  carton.  Subject to change without notice.  Times approximate.  Simulated picture.
 No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.  Please remain seated until the
     ride has come to a complete stop.  Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of
 agreement.  For off-road use only.  As seen on TV.  One size fits all.  Many suitcases
  look alike.  Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.  Colors may
  fade.  We have sent the forms which seem right for you.  Slippery when wet.  For
 office use only.  Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.  Drop in any mailbox.
   Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver
     without postage.  List was current at time of printing.  Return to sender, no
   forwarding order on file, unable to forward.  Not responsible for direct, indirect,
   incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure
 to perform.  At participating locations only.  Not the Beatles.  Penalty for private use.
   See label for sequence.  Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.  Do not write
 below this line.  Falling rock.  Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check
  is your receipt.  Add toner.  Place stamp here.  Avoid contact with skin.  Sanitized
   for your protection.  Be sure each item is properly endorsed.  Sign here without
 admitting guilt.  Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.  Employees and their families
  are not eligible.  Beware of dog.  Contestants have been briefed on some questions
before the show.  Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.  You must
 be present to win.  No passes accepted for this engagement.  No purchase necessary.
  Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.  Shading within a garment
    may occur.  Use only in a well-ventilated area.  Keep away from fire or flames.
  Replace with same type.  Approved for veterans.  Booths for two or more.  Check
  here if tax deductible.  Some equipment shown is optional.  Price does not include
taxes.  No Canadian coins.  Not recommended for children.  Prerecorded for this time
  zone.  Reproduction strictly prohibited.  No solicitors.  No alcohol, dogs or horses.
 No anchovies unless otherwise specified.  Restaurant package, not for resale.  List at
 least two alternate dates.  First pull up, then pull down.  Call toll free number before
   digging.  Driver does not carry cash.  Some of the trademarks mentioned in this
  product appear for identification purposes only.  Objects in mirror may be closer
 than they appear.  Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.  Unix is
 a registered trademark of AT&T.  Do not fold, tear or mutilate.  No transfers issued
 until the bus comes to a complete stop.  Package sold by weight, not volume.  Your
      mileage may vary.
 This supersedes all previous notices applicable.
This disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of
          whoever I took / borrowed / stole it from.
This front page is dedicated to the first person who saw it.
A wonderful girl I know only as A Female.
 
Oops, two more ppl claim to have seen this page first so I'll have to dedicate it to  Akapia and Dab as well.
 
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