We captured the German Felix with his first stand-up ride on video tape. It was the climax of the trip when Grommet got his first wave on Dec. 7th. He declares it a new German National Holiday. Once the clock stroke 6 am this kOOk marched like a lemming into the ocean, no matter what conditions. Definitely a strong performance for 1998 KOY. Holger, the KOY German Oscar won an Oscar with his repeat performance of TORA TORA TORA dive bombing on the West Coast of Puerto Rico, H the H sunk many battleships in the cafes and nightclubs, but in the end got shot down. The big kOOk was totally stylin on his 6.8 HIC until he got to see himself on the video, and he said "No that can't be me, the stance it too stiff."

The mother of all kOOks is no doubt, Lex Maniac. This Felix never rests if there is a dirty spoon in the sink. He is every woman's dream husband. Also a very good and consistent surfer, who showed his Hawaiian big wave experience in the two foot mush slop. KOD - Kevin Oscar Driscoll, what a piece of work. This guy needs a freight container for all his shit he brings along and you can count on it that it will be spread all over the rented condo. He also preys on innocent German kOOks by taking them snorkeling way outside on the second reef, without any lessons. He had a dream about a big fish that he would shoot with his speargun, which must have been the same dream like the big waves that never came.

Keith Trecoscar - aka THE SPACKLER - that one will stick, boy, we promise you that!! He had the biggest piles of sticky underpants to fix holes in the walls. Now this guy cannot be missed on any trips, but be sure you bring a Lap Top computer loaded with AOL, so Mister studmuffin can keep in touch with his electronic harem. But he is also a very solid surfer (but the photos make him look even better) and all around swell guy, definitely the one you want to be in the line up with. Turns out this guy knew how to play the mandolin quite well, which brings us to next candidate, namely the guy that brought that instrument and many, many more toys along on that trip. Larry - The underwater Felix. He would not go anywhere without his scuba equipment, so we made him rent his own car. Larry distinguished himself by putting on the bright orange crash helmet to take in water photos of the kOOks surfing headhigh sets on Laceration reef. Thats how he got the name Laceration Larry. Check the internet for these super hot, uh I mean not, surf photos soon! Watch out Warren Bolster and Bob Barbour, Laceration Larry loves the impact zone and is moving in on your territory.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of "Endless Summer III - the kOOks"
Signed: H the H -KevinO"

Click on the thumbnails for captions and expanded photos.
(photo credits: Keith, Holger and KevinO)

The PR Trip was a blast... good waves, lots of beer and rum (with some shots of Tequila thrown in), and more (don't ask). We were all in true kook form down there. Stark white and loaded with sunscreen, we walked across the street from our condo every morning and scored waist to chest high surf (heck, even some head high sets rolled through -- ask H the Hhigh surf (heck, even some head high sets rolled through -- ask H the H and he'll tell you that they were double overhead... must be the German method of measuring). Yes, it was flat for a couple of days, but the stoke from riding lined up, good-sized tropical waves carried through. Besides, the flat days were great for us to nurse our wounds (reef cuts, sore muscles, hangovers).

Highlights of the trip...
Holger -- To use his own words, Holger was the most "gripping" kook in puerto rico. Bellyflopping off a 30ft cliff (numerous times), early morning wake up calls ("barrels for breakfast"), longest ride of the day at Jobos, friendliest kook (said hi to everyone, whether they liked it or not), smoothest kook (don't ask), kickass bongo player, most optimistic surf prophet (guys, it's building... it's lining up.. it's definitely going to be overhead tomorrow). AND... check this out... H-the-H made a successful transformation from a 7'6 to a 6'8 (or something like that). The guy was popping up on the chip, and actually scoring some good rides! Go figure!!! Gerd the Grommet -- most stoked and determined kook. First to paddle out every morning. While we were eating our raisin bran, Gerd was perfecting his pop up technique down at Pools. Gerd is also a great cook.. made a kick ass breakfast one day. Minute for minute, I'd say he logged the most water time too... always out there, always stroking into waves (heck, even making some!). Suffice it to say that we'll have to give Gerd a new nickname by the Spring... this Grommet is well under way to shredding status. Remember Gerd... turn and burn, stop, pop and drop! Go shred... KevinO -- kept the stoke alive. surfed hard, partied hard, relaxed hard. KO is hardcore, people. Took his surfing very seriously... and when he was out there, he lit it up. Lots of good lefts and rights by this guy.. whether it was on his potato chip or a long board. Needed some persuasion to jump off the cliff at Jobos... me? I jumped in a second... (although Kevin was quick to follow). He then swam what seemed like a mile after jumping the cliff too... the guy's in shape. Good cook... makes a mean rice and beans. Rebuilt a mandolin when not surfing, and jammed the whole week. I'd say by the 3rd night, he was well on his way to sounding like Jimi Hendrix (ok, you had to be really drunk, but at one point, I swore he rattled off a riff on that puppy that sounded awfully close to Hendrix at Montreaux (after he lit the guitar on fire). What more can I say? KO added a laid back and fun dimension to the trip. Lex -- AAAlllejandroooooo!! Mother of the trip. Good cook, great cleaner... a man of common sense. Told me what PABA was... don't remember, but it was sort of interesting. I'd say he got the biggest wave of the trip. A huge, looming left... made a nice drop. When he put down the apron, this guy could surf. Caught the most waves out of everyone by far (yeah, I know Holger... you TRIED for the most waves, but Lex caught 'em!). Was definitely the voice of reason, and thankfully so. Kept us all in line. The more I think of it, Lex is pretty much the opposite of Holger. It made for a good balance. I mean, if it wasn't for Lex, we'd all probably be jumping off the cliffs at Jobos, following in Holger's footsteps. Jeez, Holger can get you really amped. You need a guy like Lex around, that's for sure. All told, Lex got the job done -- surfed hard, even did some work, and was actually quite funny (sometimes). Larry -- although not yet a kook, laceration larry took some great in the water photos of the kooks, sacrificing his body against the reef. Although he went down there to dive, he actually was pretty amped to get on a surfboard, and is well under way to achieving KooK status very soon. Watch out Manasquan... Laceration Larry is in the house.

Any of you who are thinking of going to PR, I have one thing to say -- DO IT!!! Oh... and raise an EL Presidente for me, would ya?
Cheers....keith

Click on the thumbnails for captions and expanded photos.
(photo credits: Keith, Holger, KevinO)

Hawaii, North Shore of Oahu, December 1997:

Date: Tue, 23 Dec 1997 14:17:11 +0000
From: Craig.Jon.Anderson@mail-out-5.tiac.net
Subject: Hawaii Conditions
Mele Kalikimaka, Haole Makahikiho!!
>From the beach on Waikiki. I arrived in the Islands late evening on the 19th. On the 21st, I scored a dinged up 7'8" "mini tanker" for $40 from one of the "beach boys" on the Waikiki waterfront. It has the lines and float of a good general purpose board. That same day I scored some mellow hip to waist high waves at " Lefts & Rights" (that is 1-2 Hawaiian) . On the following day, I switched to Kaisers and Kaisers Bowl... where I used to surf as a kid and plugged into some sweet waist to head high clean glassy walls and peaks. Guys were getting covered and going off the lip regularly.

There has been a high surf advisory here, so I've stayed off the North Shore until I get worked into it. I'll probably hit the country of Makaha today to ease into it... BECAUSE another swell is due to hit on Christmas day!!! What a treat.
That's all live from the Islands.
Mahalo, Candyman

Date: Fri, 26 Dec 1997 14:49:19 +0000
From: Craig.Jon.Anderson@mail-out-5.tiac.net
Subject: North Shore Report

Even a kOOk let's wisdom and caution guide him.
I went out at Haleiwa yesterday. Scary stuff. For perspective, 6-8 Hawaiian is what we call double overhead on the the set waves. I got out without too much trouble. Haleiwa is like that on big days. There is a channel to the west and a boat harbor to the right, so when all the waves come in, the inrushing water pours back out through the channel. All you have to do is get into the current. That is no problem. The problem is not letting the current sweep you right into the impact zone. Even though I surfed this spot when I was a teen, it was much smaller. These looked like big waves. Guys were riding big wave boards, and everyone was working very hard to stay positions. I spent most of my time out on the shoulder and paddling to stay out of the way and in a place that I felt was safe. I did get some waves... nothing special in the context of the swell, but it did feel good. Two hours went by in the blink of an eye and I saw some gorgeous waves and spectacular rides and stand up barrels on waves that weren't even breaking top to bottom.

Two days ago at Kaiser's bowl, I watched a guy get barreled six different times.
The Candyman

Khristmas Comes to NY and NJ December 1997:

Date: Sat, 27 Dec 1997 19:40:58 EST
From: HolgerIvar
Subject: HO,HO,HO..HUGE.
NJ gets 6-8' christmas day gift and super clean conditions.
Trusting my first call of good swell composed on my new computer set up, I drove down to Bay Head, NJ (the wave's favorite spot). I jumped up on the dunes and could not believe my eyes. There were about one dozen surfers spread over 4 jetties enjoying consistant head high to overhead clean peaks, barreling mostly to the right. I thought after PR I'm hot shit and took my 6'8" along, NJ quickly earned its respect back, paddling out I got hammered by two humongous waves, keeping me record time under, my lungs had to switch to "reserve mode", fuck! I realized later that everybody had there longer boards and semi guns out. I hardly was able to paddle into waves, when I did, it got real ugly. After 3 hours of waffling, I went to Deal , where things were smaller and slower.

Nobody was out exept for this dead Racoon, into which I would bump, occasionally. Yeah, got up on the board a couple of times, but it seems like every time I'm out in a new suit for the first time I get chucked into the jetty. This time the suit escaped any harm, but my board was wedged in the rocks and being attached to it I had to hang and wait for the next wave to flush it out.

The day after X-mas day I drove to Cranford, NJ to meet Karl Pfeil. Back to Bay Head for an early sesh. Clean conditions in the waist to chest high range with still occ. head high sets. Karl was all over the waves with his PINK PANTHER (a beautifully shaped 7'6" board from Hawaii), getting mostly rights. The Wave joined us later at 9:30 and he was supposed to pick up his wife's birth certificate in Elizabeth, NJ. Putting 1st things 1st we enjoyed clean and fun waves. Later we learned at 3:00 (just leaving Bay Head) that the Vital Statistics office closes at 3:30. Believe me, this man was facing the "Death Sentence" at home, returning home without the paper. Well, there are miracles. With the help of a cell phone, a radar detector, and a bribe, we managed to extend the office hours to 4:00 and were there at 3:50. YEAH, THE KOOKS did it again.

Btw, by now I must be on most wifes shit lists, including my own.
Holger the Horrible, Taking pride in "Fucking Up".

Date: Sun, 28 Dec 1997 18:02:53 -0500 (EST)
From: David Ryan To: kooks@flyingseal.com Subject: montauk report

montauk new york, late sunday afternoon.
snow on the ground this morning, and strong NW winds. but, the forcast was for the winds to ease up in the afternoon. so i busied myself with chores while the tide turned and the winds settled down a bit. at 3pm i headed down to trailer parks and caught a few. the swell seemed to be deminishing. but, as the tide came back in, the ditch started to go off classic. chest high walls, lots of tip time and cut backs, and even the occasional head dip. just me and one other guy out. couldn't have been better. by the time the sun was on the horizon, the water was oil-slick smooth and reflecting the pink and blue of the sunset.

David Ryan
Minister of Whimsy
Crumbling Empire Productions

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