This is true.

The wind had started to swing off shore, and although the Cape usually doesn't get much from a SW swell, I suspected she might get a little wrap - about waist high, nicely cleaned up, in long lines. So, I drove down to Coast Guard hoping to get in an hour or two of noon time surfing - it was a beautiful day and when it came right down to it, I would have been happy to just get wet.

As I made the turn towards the station access road, I could see long lines peeling right in front of the guard house. After parking I walked down the little kuldesak look-out path and off to my left I could see white lines as far as the southern horizon. The inside bars looked about waist high, but some of the outermost bars, off to the south seemed a bit bigger. My plan was clear, start right here in front of the station and work my way south if necessary.

Suited up, I paddled out with my Phillips 10 footer. The waves were easy to catch. After a time, a few of the larger sets came in and I moved a little down south and a little more outside. The outer bars seemed to be taking every third or fourth set. The wait was a little longer, but the waves were a little meatier and the off shore wind had started to hold them up making for some fun faces to race.

Waiting for a set, I remember just starring at the horizon, enjoying the moment. The High pressure system was moving in fast, and the skies where totally clear of last night's storm. The ocean was a mix of translucent winter pale greens and grays. The wind had started to rough up the surface a bit and the increased reflections only adding to the enormous amount of light present from the clear High sky. I live and surf on this temporary sandbar, and most of the time the place is dark, gray and wet, but it has its moments. Especially in the late Fall and early Winter, uncharacteristically warmed by the ocean and empty of summer cottagers, its as though the place kicks back a little before it gets down to some real business - Winter.

As I sat there waiting to see that tell tale darkish line appear on the horizon, I watched an event unfold directly in front of eyes, its significance not even registering until it was almost over. A very large creature broke the surface, hesitated and then submerged. It had happened it such a fluid and gradual way that it took a moment or too before I released what I was witnessing. I saw the whole event, but the only lasting image I have is of the creature submerging. Even now, as I try to remember, it remains a little surreal. What I saw of the creature was at least as long as my surfboard and had a dorsal no less than a foot tall. It was gray to light gray, and was close enough for me to tell it was lighter underneath. (Afterwards I paced off a distance in the parking lot equal to the distance that the creature had been from me. I believe it was twenty or so paces, about 50 or 60 foot away. Sounds far, it wasn't.)

After it disappeared beneath the surface, I looked around and realized that I was in deep water, literally. I had gradually worked my way out to the southern outermost bars and it was a long way in. I turned the board and started to paddle in, slowly at first, praying for a set, none came. I started to paddle faster, then faster. I remember looking off to the side of the board and only seeing dark blue, a sure sign of deep water - I was crossing a deep zone. I thought, "It will happen here in the deep water." I paddled even faster. Then my skeg hit sand.

Maybe it was a Basking Shark, maybe some sort of whale or even a Sunfish, but my gut tells me it was a White, and it had broken the surface to check me out. It was massive, I don't remember any splashing or sound when it broke the surface, or when it had submerged.

Afterwards, I must have stood on the beach for a good half hour starring out to sea. I had hoped it would break the surface again, but nothing did, or at least I didn't see anything. Right after hitting the beach, when I first looked back I saw about eight seagulls in a bunch flying south slowly and well off shore. They were obviously following something.. I stood there starring out to sea long after the birds vanished into specs.

While driving home I began to think about a conversation I had had with a client earlier that day. We had been discussing software development and cost when he threw up his arms and stated that he didn't care, that he knew his place was on the food chain - that of a consumer. I'm not sure what he meant, but I do believe its good to know where you are on the food chain.

KC

The Walrus

Hello KevinO and fellow Kooks

Thanks for your kind introduction. I am not sure I deserve to be in such select company. I'll send a longer message about my trip to OZ later, but I'd like to share with you a little story about my trip that I think has a lot to do with the spirit of the group, juggling family and work to run around the world after those little beauties (waves, I mean). Last year, after a breakup with my fiancee and not going anywhere with my research project, I decided to get in touch with my surfing roots again and bailed on family, work and friends to go surfing in Australia.

So one day I am at this town on the border of New South Wales and Victoria called Merimbula, at this point break called Short Point. According to the locals, the place was all-time. 6 to 8 foot barrelling sets wrapping around the point break. About 100 surfers in the water. I didn't even bother to go to the peak. Instead, I paddled to the side and caught the scraps. Pretty soon this old walrus of a longboarder paddles up to me and starts hassling for waves. The guy is a total dick. If I paddled 5 yards to the right, he would paddle 5 yards to the right and sit 5 yards outside of me. He was in his late 50's but could still paddle (or was it the longboard?).

So we're hassling when this 8 foot clean set comes up and we are the only ones in position. I just started paddling outside, because there's no way I am going to let this guy take that wave. I turn around and start paddling side by side with him and I am on the peak. He doesn't paddle, so I think I've got it. To my surprise, he waits for me to go, paddles around my back, gets on the peak. He then jumps to his longboard with the agility of a 16-year old, really smooth and graceful, opens such a huge grin that he could bite his ears, takes an 8-foot late drop and disappears for about 100 yards to pop up inside with a hoot.

To me, that grin completely defines stoke. I hope that I can age like that. So, to the Aussie longboard walrus, thanks for reminding me of what is really important in life. But you're still a dick for hassling me!

P.S. Did you meet Rabbit in overhead Kirra or what??? Oh, yeah! Bugs told the locals to let me drop in a couple of waves, mate! And after that I hung out with Elle at the beach!

Kiko

From: Karl Pfeil
Subject: Food Chain Take 2

I hate sharks!. I've never been attacked, but have been in the H2O with them.

My first time swimming with Mack the shark was back when I was in college on I took a trip to Cape Hatteras (What a great surf weekend). I drove to Hatteras with my brother and our friend Butch. We arrived at the lighthouse in Buxton at about 6am, the swell was about 3-4 feet and not very strong. But you could look out to the horizon and see the huge swell that was just missing us.

We decided before surfing to set up our tent (without much luck). The wind was so strong that when a puff swooped in, are tent would get leveled. After about an hour of setting up the tent and watching it get knocked down, we decided to leave it on the ground and do a little wave riding (lots of fun, but not great).

By sunrise the next day the wind was so calm that you could hear the rumble of breaking surf and smell the salt water in the air. We rushed to the lighthouse and to our surprise we were greeted by some of the biggest surf I've seen on the east coast (at that time) sets of 10 to 12 feet were rolling in at two very well set up peaks: the first was right next to the groin -- sucking up, barreling, and spiting out, it was perfection; the second was off to the south of the groin about 50-75 yards, where the swell would jack up and peal down the beach for about 50-200 yards (depending on the wave, some good, some not so good).

So we surfed there almost all day, till the wind became a little side shore, then headed to Frisco pier. Man the swell was so strong that it rapped around the point and was still 6-10 feet. What was strange about the south shore was how beautiful the water was compared to the churned up gray/green water at the lighthouse -- it was this beautiful Caribbean blue and there were even dolphins playing in the surf (it was like a dream -- BUT, I have the pictures to prove it).

Anyway, about the sharks, yes more than one. The next morning the lighthouse was still going off with sets of 8-10 feet and unbelievably clean. It was so good that there were photographers up and down the beach - I even think Wess Laine was in the water. Well, after about two hours of some of the best rides of my life I finally got caught inside and had to get out. As I walked up the beach I see everyone on the beach looking out side the line up at something in the water. I asked one of the cameramen what's out there? and he said a bunch of hammerhead sharks (this didn't sound good! and the surfers didn't even know what was going on). At first, I was kinda glad that I got out of the water till I realized that my brother was still out there. So I braved the inside shore break one more time, paddled like a 'bat out of hell' and after about 20 minutes made it out to the lineup. Exhausted, I paddled over to my brother (Butch was already on the beach) and told him about the sharks. He had the same reaction that I did before I paddled back out, and almost started to paddle in until I told him that I'm staying out to surf some more. He said "are you crazy!!" "no!" I said "but I figure there's a lot of surfers between us and them sharks, and if they decided to come in for a little taste -- the odds are with us that they'll attack the closest surfers before they get to us and giving us plenty of time to get out of the water." So, my brother and I stayed in the water till we couldn't get up the energy to ride another wave, then paddled in (don't ever say these 4 words! "one more wave in" there a curse).

Ride On

Karl

From: Kevin O'Driscoll
Subject: MOTELS

After a monster Nor'easter in the fall of 1977, myself and two friends decided to go it. We checked the surf at Sandy Hook, NJ and it was so huge that no one was out, and everyone was just lined up on the breakwater mesmerized. We kept driving South to Long Branch, and Manasquan and Bay Head, but everywhere it was so huge that getting outside was impossible as we watched surfers battle in vain against onslaughts of whitewater. Our better judgement kept telling us to go South. By the time we got to Seaside Park, either the swell was smaller there, or the tide had come up enough that it looked manageable. We paddled out at "Motels" and it took us about 30 minutes to make it outside to the second sandbar where it was breaking. The waves were huge (remember this was almost 20 years ago) so I don't want to put a number on it. We were spent but outside when all of a sudden the cleanup set from hell reared itself. I paddled my G&S Skip Frye Modern Machine as fast as I could, but soon I found myself paddling backwards and upside-down as a 4 foot thick lip pitched me over the falls while I was still lying on my board. Who knows how long I was held down, but I definitely remember two trips around the Maytag and then the hold down. I swallowed and choked, and came up in really thick foam coughing and drowning. It scared the bejesus out of me, never forget it. Probably the closest I've been to death. Everything went black and light spots formed on my retinas like stars. Leash and board were gone, so I swam in exhausted without even catching a wave, a seventeen year old survivor. After lying on the beach recovering for about a half hour I found my board a half mile away from where I paddled out.

-KevinO

Pork Roll, Egg and Cheeses

Hey Kooks:

Weeks ago when I posted my intro, I stated that I had a few interesting stories which centered around surfing and my never ending desire to spend as much time in the water as possible. Sometimes, as you will soon find out, when you push yourself too hard accidents can happen.

It was a cold foggy day in March (1991 or 1992) with waves in the 2 to 3 foot overhead range. The wind was blowing lightly out of the west with a very peaky south swell which made for perfect barrels. I had been surfing Mantaloking all morning with three other guys. Obviously, it being March, the water was still pretty chilly and we were all decked out in 5 mils. with boots and gloves.

After a healthy morning session we decided to go refuel with some Pork Roll, Egg and Cheeses (For those of you outside NJ and not in the know, Pork Roll is another unhealthy alternative to the heart stopping powers of Bacon). After breakfast my cohorts, feeling the urge, all paid a visit to the watercloset and relieved their bowels. I being of the mind that you should not force your bowels to perform unless they are ready, readied myself for the next session.

By the time we returned to Mantaloking for our second session, I felt pressure building within the lower portions of my abdomen. Rather than drive back to the nearest restroom (approx. 4 miles) I figured I would find a spot in the dunes and make my deposit. However there was one problem, no TP (toilet paper, usually in the form of 7-11 napkins), which brings us back to my desire to be in the water whenever possible. Subsequently, I convinced myself that the urge to purge was not that great and I should be able to surf for at least an hour or two before I would really have to go.

That being decided, I donned my 5 mil with hood, boots and gloves and paddled out to grab some waves. Upon reaching the line up I locked into a perfect 3 foot overhead barrel which reeled down the beach. After several more flawless waves, some of which I made and some of which sent me head first into the sand bar (which tends to be pretty shallow at low tide) I was paddling back out to the lineup when I noticed that the pressure in my bowels was becoming unbearable. At this point I decided that after one more wave I would make my way to the nearest bathroom.

As I neared the lineup, I noticed a rather beefy set approaching, so I started scratching. While I made it under the first wave safely, the force of the second wave unloaded directly on my lower back in the form of a heaving lip. Instantaneously, my bowels let loose. That's right, I was sitting in the impact zone with a suit full of $#!+. Immediately I turned and started heading for the beach.

Upon my return to the beach, I began shedding my suit. Hood then gloves. As soon as I was able to unzip my suit and get it down around my ankles, I assumed a squat position in the middle of the beach and continued to relieve myself. Luckily, on a foggy day in the middle of March there arenāt too many people visiting the beach. I can only hope that there was no one in any of the beach front houses checking out the swell.

Upon completion of the relieving myself, I had to move onto the task of cleaning out my suit and cleaning up myself. It was at this point that I waddled down to the water line, like a little kid trying to walk with underwear around their ankles. As I entered the water, which was approximately 40”F, I was pulled from the shallows into the hole which separates the sand bar from the beach face. As you can imagine, it is pretty difficult to swim with a wetsuit down around your ankles.

The situation worsened when I began to lose my breath as the frigid water felt like it was forcing the air from my lungs. In desperation, I dove under water and began to stroke like hell for the beach. After several attempts I succeeded in reaching the shallows and scrambling up the beach.

Once back on the beach, a thorough inspection of my wetsuit revealed that it had been cleaned out by the wave action when I was floundering in the shore break. Without hesitation, I pulled up my suit zipped it up, replaced my gloves and hood and paddled back out to share my experience with the other guys, who to this point could not figure out why I was on the beach.

After taking a few minutes to share my story with the others, I picked up right where I left off and continued to catch perfect waves for another hour and a half. The best part was I never had to make the 4 mile drive to the nearest bathroom, and I didnāt have to waste any of 7-11's precious napkins.

Surf Hard and Surf Long

Surfweeny

Hurricanes

Historical water temps and my personal buddy El-nino do seem to indicate that our Hurricane season will certainly be producing swells, tropical depressions( sometimes brought on by inability to get homeowners insurance) and ( I was here for Andrew!) for the masses at 12ft above sea level: general mayhem with severe anxiety.

With all due respect, Andrew cut a 25 mile wide flat path through the Everglades National Forest and with 1more degree north would have leveled my community taking no prisoners. Take note, for kooks ready to stand face to face with their destiny, check your neighbors yards for crap that can blast through your windows, plywood your windows( don't tape absolute waste of time and material)xtra batteries and radio, water(1gal per person per day)enough for two weeks, fix a flat,duct tape, canned goods and camping gear a definite plus.If the storm reaches catagory 4-5, put your mattress on your tub and get under it with all your significant others( especially your dog). Then wait....for the glassy cliffs that will follow.

As Summer progresses, sometimes the monsoons make Ark building more profitable than home building, but if in my neck of the Glades, stop by for a cold one and some local color. Driscoll sorry the surf and sushi party is out of range this time.

Later- Lew

A Mess'O Nerves

Verry interesting. Zis appears to be a classic vave anxiety dream.

I even had one of my increasingly frequent frustrating surfing dreams last night. ... At one point I was duckdiving on my way out, and after popping up I looked down beneth my stomach and there was sponge sort of between me and the board. Go figure. I was on a board and a sponge at the same time. I've never tried a sponge in real life though. Anyway, later I was on the streetcar in on which I relied to get me to the beach a few times when I was temporarily carless at one point out there. I used to take my board on Muni to the beach during light traffic times. And in this dream, I noticed that this chick I met on the train was standing on my brand new board, which was laying fins down on the floor sort of behind some seats. To my horror, this not only snapped the fins, it somehow snapped the board in half. I was pretty bummed.

Mit der sponge, you seek to protect yourself from der surf. But you are still immersed in zis element, der ocean vhen you make der duck-dive. Und da fact zhat you are alvays travellink but not arrivink, suggests an uvillingness to engage the element -- Da Mutter Ocean.

Alzo dis ting vit da woman: zis is a variant of da wagina dentata phobia. Except in dis case der surf board is not in her, but in da autobus und she takes your surf-board -- vich as ve all know is an extention of za pee-pee -- und she snaps it off. Ouch!

Fortunately der diagnoses is simple: you need to a) surf more or b) fuck more. Probably both. Good luck.

-- Carl (barney) Jung

Jet Skier @ Matunuck

Did Dawn Patrol At Matunuck. Head high offshorewind best I,ve seen it in months. Small mellow crowd. Surfed shortboard from dawn to around 10am. A guy from South Africa was out with a suit that had no sleeves or boots or gloves. He was freezing after 1 hr. I told him and his wife & kid to follow me home. Lent him my 3/2 from last year, Had lunch and headed back alone. They had to check out of their motel and would meet me.

At 11:30 am returned to Matunuck and Trestles was crowded so I paddled out at Middles (Next break to the East In front of the far end of the Parking lot) cause there was only one other guy out there. Jet skier comes inside lineup jumps wave catches big air falls off jetski as it splashes back down. I wave to him and gesture for him to come over to me. Ask him to go away cause I,m surfing here and he might land on me. He says I should move over with other surfers he is staying. Told him it is against the law to be this close to me and read him his Registration #. He says "call it in Asshole" I said what did you call me ? " Sorry MR Asshole " Read him his reg # again and tell him I'm taking this to beach to call cops. Ride a wave in go to my truck and write reg # down. Then I go over to his truck ( could see trail in sand where he dragged ski from back of truck) and he comes walking up beach with attitude.

"what are you doing at my truck"
"writing down your Plate # to call this in"
"You wanted to take this to beach here I am" trys to kick me.
Dodge kick Left wetsuit gloved hand to face.
Dives into back of truck grabs can of starting fluid hits me on top of head with bottom of can and sprays me in face with ether.
Grab hand with spray can wrestle him to ground and take can from him. " I could Spray you with this shit like you did me and make you eat this can Right"
"Yes"
"I don't fight with chemical weapons" I throw can aside and Let him up off ground.
Comes at me again
Head butt to his nose push him away.
Jamie (surfer guy I know tries to break it up I ask him to step aside) Hit Jetskier in Solar Plexis while he uppercuts to my face Push him back over edge of his truck and try to bite his ear off but can't get mouth to ear so stick right ungloved index finger in his ear and twist ear with other fingers til he starts whinning for me to stop he has had enough. " Stay here I am Calling Cops" Get in my truck drive to phone call cops. When I return I am told other surfer at Middles is his buddy and one of them left on Jetski while other left in truck. Cops say both registrations are from Conn. and Conn. probably won't extridite on Assault charges. Go to Hospital for 2 Suture staples in the top of my head where he hit me with can. Pick kids up from school. Return home guy from South Africa returns suit. Take Daughter to Doctors appointment and home again. Eat dinner and go to Matunuck with Susan so she can surf after work. Trestles is crowded with after work sundown crowd so she surfs Middles with 2 other people we know. Swell has diminished some and wind is stronger with more East in the Ne so it isn't as clean. I hang on beach and watch. Susan is getting some nice rides. Trestles has 4 guys on many waves. Some Guy drops in on Curt ( a local guy who rips) and Curt's board goes through bottom of guys board and nose of Curt's board breaks off. Curt comes in and guy and his buddy come in. Ugly shouting, swearing, threatening, scene in Parking lot when guy who dropped in and his big weightlifter looking fraternity brother( both guys have Conn. Plates) argue with Curt over paying replacement of broken board.

Susan comes in and we split amidst ugly scene at Matunuck.

IF YOU COME TO NARRAGANSETT
LEAVE YOUR ATTITUDE IN CONNECTICUT
AND DON'T ENDANGER THE LOCALS

THE DUKE OF KOOK

RANDY