Yes folks, this is the Story page. The page where I proudly tell people how wonderful and amazing My Wife and new Family are. This page is devoted to the telling our exploits.

The Terminator

This past Saturday (10/24/98), I ran into my first Desert Dweller in my Home. A SCORPION!!!! I was pretty wigged out. Oh sure I was bigger than it's 1 inch size, but it was equipped with a quick moving tail with a needle like stinger (and a mighty big looking stinger at that)! That fast moving tail can deliver a small (but nasty) amount of venom (repeated stings will of course give multiple doses of venom). But here is that age old question: Does size count? Yeah, I am bigger, but the equalizer: I am slightly allergic to bug bites. All in all, I'd say the playing field was pretty darn level.

In steps the Terminator (or in this case the Exterminator)!

My Girl tells me to back up and she steps in with two plastic cups. She deftly catches the little sucker in one of the cups. She then figures out that the sink disposal is the perfect place to ensure this little beastie is croaked big time. My Heroine (she is also pretty darn good with spiders)!!

So you're all thinking I'm some where off in the background screaming like a woman. Well, Hah! you're wrong, I wasn't screaming, but I was in the background. So I need a woman to save me (and what a woman she is)! So what, get a grip, this is the 90s!

The Scorpion Saga Continues!

This past Thursday (11/05/98) night we get home and go in the house through the garage. I check out the house, no Scorpions. My woman decides to go and get the mail. So she turns on the front light and steps out. She quickly steps back in the house and shuts the door and turns the front light off. "What's the matter?" I ask. "There's a Scorpion outside. It's a lot bigger than the first one" she responds. "Bi..Bi..bigger!!??!" I manage to stutter out.

This time I'm a little more helpful (no much, but a little more). I get the cups so she can catch the critter. "As soon as I'm outside, shut the door THEN turn on the light." she tells me. "You yell as soon as you're ready and I'll flick the switch." I tell her.

So out the door she went, I all but slam the door behind her. "Light!" I hear and flick the switch. All I hear is the scraping of the plastic cups on concrete an occassional "Shit!" and then finally, "Babe!? I need a piece of paper or something." I open the door she has a cup upside down on the concrete with her hand holding it in place. "Hold on." I run and grab a recent mailer from Microsoft for MSN. She takes it from me. Gives me a funny look and starts opening the mail. Oops, too thick. "I'll open it." I offer. She has trouble with it (no she's not slow, she just can't do it one handed). So she puts her foot on the cup and slowly stands up, careful not to tip or crush the cup. She opens the mailer to get it just a single sheet thickness. I'm standing at the doorway looking. She bends down to start sliding the cardboard under the cup. Just before she slides the it under the cup, her head snaps up and she gives me a sharp look. Oops, I get her meaning. I shut the door just in case (she's always looking out for me, what a woman).

About 30 seconds later I hear, "Open the door, please." In she walks with the cups and mailer. I look in the cup. BIGGER than the first one is an understatement! It was about two and a half times bigger. With a longer tail to boot. MAN I thought I was wigged out the first time! We're talking big time Wiggins!

With the first one, after we sink disposed of it, she thought about wanting to make one into a paperweight. Now she has another chance. So I cut hole in an empty plastic milk jug. "Not too low" she warns, "we don't want it crawling out." With that she dumps it in. "Tape it up!" I was ready.

Now, until she get the materials, we have a pet Scorpion.

I know what you are all thinking. I'm NOT visiting his house! Yesterday (11/06/98, and every month since), I had the house sprayed for bugs (yes, scorpions too).

After finding a scorpion in the house (usually in new construction areas), I have changed my habits slightly. Every morning I shake out the clothes for the day and tap my shoes out sharply. Every night I peel off the comforter,top sheet and pillows from the bed. Sure it's a pain, but much less of a pain than getting Stung.

Stay tuned for more.