A PROPS TESTIMONY TO A BACK
Son in this world there are scrums. And in those scrums you need props. Are you willing to do it? As a prop, I have more responsibility than you can ever fathom. You use words like drunk and out of shape, those words are the very backbone of a life I spent drinking and partying and use them as a punchline.
You weep for your wings and centers, and curse the forward. You have that luxury of knowing that the pack, while disgusting and incomprehensible to you, wins these games you play. You can't handle the truth, cause deep down in places you don't talk about in your selection meetings, you want me in that scrum, you need me in that scrum.
I neither have the time nor inclination to explain myself to a back that scores on the very blanket of ball retention that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just brought me a beer and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you crawl into that scrum and get dirty, either way, I don't give a damn who you think is responsible.
FORWARDS EAT, THATS WHAT THEY DO.
FEMALE RUGGERS, YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM
If your Prop is Hungry, get him food.
If your Prop is Thirsty, get him Beer.
Because if your Prop isn't happy, then he won't play, and if he doesn't play...you gotta play Prop...and YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY PROP!
1924 OLYMPIC RUGBY GOLD MEDALISTS, TEAM USA
TOP TEN THINGS ROOKIES ASK
10.Aren't we going to shower before the party?
9. I'm supposed to grab him where?
8. We have to change clothes here, in front of everyone?
7. Why do they have tape all over their heads?
6. Is he allowed to step on my face?
5. How come the coach never runs with us?
4. Where is "the boot" and how do I shoot it?
3. How do I call for a Sub?
2. Is my neck going to feel like this after every game?
1. Did everyone used to work in Chicago?
LOVE THOSE JERSEYS!!!
God invented beer to keep Forwards from taking over the world.
Yesterday, scientists at Johns Hopkins revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones To prove their theory they fed 100 men 12 cans of beer and observed that 100% of them started jabbering incessantly and couldn't drive.