Friends

Now we get to the whole friends part. As much as I would love to just throw everyone I've ever talked to up here, I must limit it. I will put a title to each friend so you all can just skim through it and find your name. If I forgot you email me and tell me to put you up there, and I'll be sure to put you up there. I'll even put some of my internet friends I've never put on there, because they just seem too close for me not to. I don't want to leave anyone unsaid like everything else in my life. But enough of that....onto my "special" people.........

Rikki. She's going to be getting married soon. So we all think. It's weird, ever since she came home from Delawware we have never been the same. I don't ever think it will be the same again. Oh well, what can you do. I don't think she likes me as much either.

Connie Lately we havent been talking, we've both been busy doing our own things. Your my best friend and have been for many many years. I haven't been a good friend lately, and I know I should be. I don't know what I should say except you have helped me in some way no one else has, and you have accepted me for what and who I am without question. No one else has accepted me the way you have all these years and for the things I do. So you definately get a big fucking thank you.

Telisha...Well, I must say we do some of the fuckedest up things and we do them together. You are my fucked up buddy, meaning you like to get fucked up with me. We have a lot of the same issues and problems we both need to deal with. You need to find some comfortable place in your life one of these years, because i don't want you to remain miserable forever. I still love you and accept you for the bad things you do and everything else, Ill never question what you think is right for you. It's your life and your decisions, I can only be heere to help you and influence you to do the right things. I hope it all turns out ok.  I only wish the best for you.

Erin I dont think you like me anymore. I dont think if you did like me still that you like me the same way you did. You dont seem to like to tak to me anymore. I dont know what to say except im an asshole and you rule.

Rachel, me and you dont talk as much either. It feels like im losing you as one of my friends becase you live far away. im trying to see you more since i have a car now. But our visits are always cut short and we usually run out of things to say. You seem like you have more important people in your life now, so i hope everything is totally kool.

Derek, what up Johnny Bravo. I don't know why it is, but you just are a lot of fun for the plain and simple fact you usually have something to say. I am perfectly happy and I'm sure Ashley is too, that you guys are together and that you love her. She hasn't been loved by a guy, pretty much ever and whenever she "was" it was always fake and lust. But you know, I am glad you aren't mad anymore because I actually value all your guys' friendships and I hope you guys won't disappear on me. You are like my god and I prolly wouldnt be where i am without your influence on pretty much everything. You are so ungodly kool and you rule, and I am so glad you and ash are still together. I stil hope your together forever.

Alisha I know how hard it is and was to deal with your dad dying but it hasn't exactly occured to me because it was always like he was there no matter what I guess you could say. Sometimes material things get between people but in the end we all end up on the same page, some farther down than others but that's the way the cookie crumbles. I just wish some day you and Dan will get married and something in your life will go extrememly right and you will be the happiest womang in the world. That's all you need. Sometimes material things drag you down, and other times it's people, or even their actions. But don't let Dan ruin your life, even though I know your throughly attached to him. Just be careful.

Nic doesn't like me anymore and has so many other better people in his life and i guess i understand why he doesnt want to hang out with me. it sucks that hes not my friend becuase he made me see a whole other world and its hard to thank him. I don't want you to give it all up and leave you own life colleting dust. And I dont want you to feel sorry for me, you never gave us a chance to be, And I dont need you to be by my side, and tell that everythings all right. I just want you to tell me the truth, You know Id do that for you. SO why are you running away? I did enough to show you that I was willing tog ive and sacrifice, and i was the one who was lifting you up, when you thought your life had had enough, when i get close you turn away, nothing that I could do or say, So now I need you to tell me the truth, you knwo I would that for you. Is it me? is it you? Nothing that I can do to make you change you r mind.  Is it a waste of time? what is it I have tos ay?

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