Hey hey, 4th newsletter! I know you were all sooooo upset that there was no newsletter on Friday! So this one is sort of long. But you people still have not sent me stuff to put in the newsletter. SEND ME STUFF! Send me jokes! Send me your opinion! Send me anything! I will publish it with your name, or anonymously! COME ON PEOPLE!
Laura's Opinion
Guess what. Jon is mad that I am writing about him and Danielle
in my newsletter. Note: MY newsletter! But the strange thing is,
he didn't ask ME to stop writing about him. He told Danielle to tell
me to stop. Obviously he checks his email, because he has been reading
my newsletter, so why couldn't he write a quick note asking me to not
write about him? No no, he couldn't do that! You know what he did
instead? He said to Danielle:
"If you don't tell Laura to stop writing stuff about me then I will send her
an email with secrets about you."
Real nice thing to say to someone huh? I don't tell secrets about Jon.
Not that theres anything SECRET about him. I just tell my opinion, and
stuff people already know, like the fact that they broke up. Should I take
him off the mailing list if he hates the newsletter so much?
You tell me! Send me YOUR opinions.
One last thing, of course Danielle doesn't care and she just does whatever he says!!
Laura's Neat-o Facts
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
Coca-Cola was originally green.
The first couple to be shown in bed together
on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Laura's Gross Pickup Lines - You May Feel Sick!
Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!
You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
Things To Do On An Airplane - Author Unknown
Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.
When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.
Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.
Run down the aisle screaming,"He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".
Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
"Accidental" soda spill on the dork next to you.
Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't".
Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!".
Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you.
Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.
Start a hot dog stand.
Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.
Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your undies that morning.
Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
Show off your Batman underwear.
Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.
Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger.
Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".
Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do they call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world.
Don't use deodorant, then "accidentally" stick your armpit in someone's face.
Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.
Snort when you laugh.
Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.
Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!".
With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?".
Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!".
Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best then the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)
If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
Pretend you're flying the plane.
Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang.
Take over the plane with a toy gun.
Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this when there are stewardess nearby).
To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice the grenade in my luggage.