Joke #1.
This is what I've picked up from a column in a local newspaper 10 - 12 years back. I could not recal the name of the paper because the piece was used as a food wrapper. This also happened to my 'handsome' face that appeared in a local daily (I was a hero then). The featured foto of mine was a wrapper to a piece of belacan.
...Then there was a mother who was worried. Her daughter was going out on her first date.
Taking the daughter aside, she warned her what to expect.
"After dinner, he might try to hold your hand," she said.
"That is all right."
"Then he might take you to see King Kong."
"That is all right too."
"Then he might take you to Jalan Duta."
"Even that is all right."
"Then he might take you to his flat."
"And this is where you have to be careful."If he offers you a drink, that is all right."
"If he tries to kiss you, that is also all right."
"If he tries to undress you, ahha. You watch yourself."
"You stop it or you will have your mother really worried."The daughter promised not to do anything to worry her mother.
Like all mothers, she was still awake when her daughter crept home at 2 a.m. And before the mother could ask the daughter how the evening went, the daughter threw herself into her mother's arms and said:
"Ma, it's incredible. Everything happened exactly as you said it might."
"We had dinner. We went to see King Kong. Then to Jalan Duta. His flat. And he offered me a Campari with Seven-Up."
"Then, when he tried to undress me, I remembered you saying that you would be really worried."
"So I undressed him instead and let his mother do the worrying."