"I’m really worried about my brother, " I said over and over again on the phone with Sébastien, my best-friend and soulmate.

I left today without telling him. I couldn’t. I wasn’t brave enough to tell my big brother I was going to work in Africa for six weeks.

So here I am, on the verge of tears, worried sick about how my brother is gonna take that.

But I can’t cry now, I’m in the midst of dozens of impatient and excited passengers waiting for their flight out of Montréal. Our plane was suppose to leave at 18h50. It’s 19h20 and we haven’t even boarded yet. I hang up. I feel sick.

As I am in the waiting room, I feel the urge to run back and tell my brother "April fool's!" but it's not April and he's definately no fool. The delay is killing me. It's as if my brother read the e-mail I sent telling him I was leaving and rushed all the way to the airport to stop the plane.

"Who am I kidding??" I say to myself. "He probably fainted from the shock." Tears come crashing down. The flood gates have been breached.

Montréal. Friday June 26, 1998: 19h40

We have finally boarded the plane. It's a turbo-propelled SAAB 340B. And I thought they only made cars. In any case, it's tiny. I don't think this plane can hold a fly.

20h15

As we lift off, I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Only fate shall be my guide now.

21h45

Arriving at the JFK International Airport in New York City (thank God), I wonder whether or not our pilot is intoxicated since he seems to have enjoyed performing zigzags on the runway.

I'm walking as if I know where I am going but in reality I have no idea where the Air Afrique check-in counter is. There are people buzzing all around me, stuck in their own little cocoon, ignoring everyone. I'm glad coz I must be a mess. I don't even know I why I wore my big hiking boots with my elegant blue summer dress. People must think I'm mad. If they even notice, that is.

I arrive at terminal 1 and follow the indications for departures. In front of a check-in counter lies an unruly mass of people waiting for God knows what! I wiggle my way through, thinking that this must be the Air Afrique check-in counter.

Waiting for the plane, I call back Sebby. I miss him already. "What the blazes am I doing here??" I think to myself.

The Air Afrique plane is an old Airbus A310-300. It's big enough to seat 7 economy-class passengers and 2 alleys in one row. A little tight but nevertheless big. The African green chairs (I say African because you find this shade all over the place. It must be their national colour…) look like they've been through the Ice Age. Sitting beside me in seat 36D and 36E are the two raunchiest kids I've even met, Habib and Raoul. (NB. Habib means "Loved one" in Arab, thanks Rachid). They have this perfect New Yorker accent yet they come from Senegal and Nigeria respectively. I think Raoul has grown quite fond of me because he is sleeping and drooling on my arm. Ugh.

Note: Airplane food sucks.

Now that the kids are both sleeping and my arm is free, my thoughts wander off on how my brother is doing. I look at the picture I brought of him and my eyes start to water. I put it away so that I can concentrate on other things. I focuse my thoughts on Africa and i visualize myself teaching my students a little about graphics and advertising. I feel my old self-confidence coming back. How great it would be if I can actually pull this off.

Dakar, Sénégal. Saturday June 27, 1998: 11h15 local time

I didn't even notice we've landed! I thought it was just turbulences! I look out the window and I see dry rosy-beige sandy soil, mottled with the occasionnal shrub. There are numerous semi-constructed building that look long abandonned. They are the same colour as the soil. Our plane passes an old, discontinued plane covered up in red dust. It's a whole new world! My feelings of anxiety are replaced with excitement and adventure.

As we get off the plane, humidity clings to our air-conditionned and cold bodies. The heat hits us like a brick wall. It's 36 degrees Centigrade.

Shuttle buses are waiting for us as we go down the stairs. I wonder why we need them, the airport is just 100 meters away.

I grow paranoid with every passing minute. I'm on my guard. I don't smile and pretend I'm the Ice Queen. I don't want to send out the wrong signals so by acting like this, I might just let them know I don't want to be bothered. Well, so far so good…

Despite it's name, the Leopold Sedar Senghor International Airport in Sénégal is tiny and crude. The toilets don't flush and don't expect to find toilet paper… The walls look beaten down and there's barely any climate-control. I see my hotel bus and proceed to ask them if them can check my bags and reservations. All seems fine.

 My hotel is 15 Km away from the airport. In te bus provided by the Novotel-Sofitel Hotel, I can see more unfinished houses. The people here are blacker than I've ever seen! I've only seen that on TV or in pictures, but never in real life… It's fascinating. Several men wear long flowing islamic tunics of various designs. I like the blue ones… it's my fav colour. Most of North Africa are islamic. Us North Americans think that muslims are either terrorists or crooks… I happen to know a great deal of muslims and they are amongst the most peaceful people I know. But anyways, in myh opinion, it's not the religion that makes the person, but the person him/herself.

Ok ok ok, where was I… Oh yeah…

So here I am, in this bus, in Africa… I'm totally freaking out! Everything is so different here. You can see people praying to Allah on the streets. I haven't seen a woman covering her face but lots of them wear typical long African dresses of various designs. They're beautiful! Some of them haul huge baskets oh their heads. It's a sight to see. Everything seems to go in slow motion here… People seem relaxed, or maybe it's apathy.

I check in my room (348). Thank God it has A/C. It's pretty nice. I have an ocean view. After resting a bit, I endeavour to call home, but I can't reach anyone. Just my brother's lover but I think he hates me for what I did to my brother. I should call work… But I am still a little scared…

I go to the hotel lobby to buy some postcards. The woman at the store recommends me a hotel guide. He offers to take me to the zoo next door… I reluctantly accepted. What I saw was appaling! The animals are mistreated, skinny and have at least some kind of skin disease. I don't say anything since I'm alone in a strange land, but inside, I'm screaming.

The zoo guide asks a chimp to touch my hands. He's (the chimp) very cute! He's about 16 years old and is curious about my nail polish. He takes my hands and examines them from the cage. But the way he looks at them… It was as though he was actually studying it! He then points to my boots. I think it's the first time he ever saw hiking boots like these (to think of it, what AM I doing with big hiking boots in the quasi-desert called MALI!). I think I'm falling in Love… but before he can further bond, the zoo guide urges me to continue. It was in all an amazing experience. His hands felt like calloused human hands! It's something I'll never forget…

Further on, I meet the king and queen of the jungle: lions and lionesses. They are BEAUTIFUL, albeit a little skinny. The male makes a low rumbling sounda nd the female chases away the zoo guide when he tries to make her come closer to us. "Go GRRL!" , was all I had in my mind at the time.

Speaking of which… Scrubbie is gonna KILL me! I haven't called her, mailed her b-day present, I haven't even e-mailed her in like a decade!! She's gonne SLASHKILLMAIMGORE me! *Gulp*

I meet the 8 month-old "kitten" of our famous young couple… She still has her spots and her ears look all poofy and oversized for her face… It's SO cute! Her ears fur look like down feathers and she craves so much attention! She rubs her neck against the bar as if she wanted to rub herself on her master like a housecat does. But whoa… she's more than just an oversized kitten… She's bigger than a german rottweiler! Nevertheless, I fall in Love again… *sigh*

Returning to my hotel, I feel sorry for the animals that stay here. In a way, it's kinda the mirror-image of what's going on in most third-world countries; People living in poor sanitary conditions, barely eating, barely drinking… slowly wasting their life in a pit of nothingness… How self-serving and ignorant we North Americans are!

Dakar, Sénégal. samedi, le 27 juin, 1998 : 19h00

Mmmm… I'm eating Yassa Poulet (Yassa Chicken fyi). It's pretty good! My first African meal…

Dakar, Sénégal. samedi, le 27 juin, 1998 : 24h00

I call Sebby. He sounds so happy to hear from me! I miss him so much! He sounds a little worried though. I ask him if he spoke to my brother and he says no. I'm worried about my bro but I'm still too scared to call….

Dakar, Sénégal. samedi, le 27 juin, 1998 : 24h15

I finally decide to call. It was very comforting to hear his voice. He talk for a long time. He tells me that if something should happen to me, it would ruin his life (pressure?? I feel no stinkin' pressure!!) He would always blame himself.

I said a little prayer for God that if not for my sake (God only knows how I've been bad), then for the sake of my brother that I ask for protection…

Dakar, Sénégal. samedi, le 27 juin, 1998 : 4h00

I can't sleep

Dakar, Sénégal. samedi, le 27 juin, 1998 : 4h15

I spot a mosquito in my room and then proceed to douse myself with DEET.

Dakar, Sénégal. Dimanche, le 28 juin, 1998 : 9h15

OHMIGOD! I woke up late! Good thing my bro called! Doused myself in DEET again.

At the Airport, I check in and it was relatively smooth. Going to my waiting room I meet this guy. His name is Mohammoud and he is Malian. He studies accounting in Florida. Doing his Masters Degree in Finances. He tells me all about how Mali is different from Dakar and how "We have nothing, but we have ourselves". I thought that was a cute quote. We go to the runway to manually check if our bags are there.

The plane is pretty big, I think it's a Boeing 737. Cool. But we're 2 hours late. I think I got used to the delays. I'm anxious to arrive for crying out loud!

Finally! I'm in MALI!!!! I look out the window and I don't see a soul. Not even a building. "You must be kidding me..." I say to myself. It's NOWHERE Land here!!! I get out of the plane and walk to the airport (at least they don't waste money on un-necessary buses like in Sénégal.. teehee). Before passing through customs, my friend is bombarded with friends and acquaintances. He seems to be popular here. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's my boss! He could pass through customs I said to myself. He even makes me pass ahead of the line! I felt like I was this important person that everyone was looking after for. I give him my luggage tickets and he asks his servant to get my luggage. (Unfortunately, on the luggage ticket, Mohammoud's phone number was there.... oh well... teehee) EVERYONE in the airport knew my boss. It was so cool! He lets me go outside while we wait for the bags and I see Najmeddine, the guy I initially met in this company. It was good to see him again! Kinda comforting. I realize that the airport was even smaller than the one in Dakar. He tells me a story how their company was able to stop a plane from taking off because the air plane official didn't want to let some baggage in. Cool.

Ok, I get in the car, it doesn't start. Naj tries again and again until (Thank God) it starts. Welcome to Bamako, he says cynically. We drive through the ONLY paved road I see... It's the main road that connects the city to the Airport. I still don't see any buildings. Just a little jouse every now and then but that's it. Nada. Zip. There's alot of vegetation and the soil doesn't seem so dry. I ask Naj how far is the city while we were on the bridge. He pointed out to the trees ahead of us and said : "You see those trees? Well, the city is right behind them."

It's gonna take me some time to get used to the accent here... Anyways, he shows me to my room after arriving and I take a little break and shower. AHH!! it feels GREAT! I go out the room and we meet at the lounge. After eating at a restaurant (VERY CHIC! It was a stark constrast from the city itself. I hardly ever been to a restaurant this chic in Canada!), he shows me the office. THen the wind starts to blow really hard. I get a little worried. Then suddenly... it POURS! Man! Now THAT'S rain! I've never seen so much LIGHTNING in my life! I mean it was daylight out there just because lightning was constantly illuminating the sky! But it was beautiful! Even the lightning looks different here!

Naj tours me the city after the rain subsides and then we go home. I wash up and now I prepare for bed. Dearest diary, I think this is gonna be the thrill of a lifetime!

Bamako, Mali. Monday, june 29, 1998

I wake up pretty refreshed and have breakfast with Naj. We go to the office (about 2 minutes away from where I stay) and he introduces me to the people there. I will DEFINATELY have to get used to their accent!! Not to mention their names! Abdoulaye Gadio, Fatoumata something, you get my drift! They seem like nice enough people. They shake my hand as if I was a little piece of crystal. I shake them back firmly. I settle down in my office and start to load PhotoShop 5.0 and PageMaker 6.5. But I gotta delete some stuff since I have virtually no space left in my HD. Whoops. I then prepare for my first course tomorrow.
Naj comes and picks me up for lunch. We and the big boss Raphaël eat together. It's pretty cool. It's like a mini family. Everything seems very relaxed here. But the big boss still kinda intimidates me. He's not mean or anything, just very big and imposing! Nothing much happened at work today. I wanted to call home to talk to my bro but there's only one phone like and it's busy for work. Afterwards, we go home and chat some more. Eat, chat, chat chat. MY GOD do these people talk alot! Especially Raph. Politics, ethics... things I swore not to talk too much about. Anyways, I'm bushed and I gotta get ready for my course tomorrow!

Bamako, Mali. Tuesday June 30, 1998

Woke up this morning with a pimple the size of Bahamas right on my nose… ARGH! It's looking at me funny. I notice that in front of where I live, there's a family of sheep happily living on the "street". It's quite a sight! Well besides that, it's a relatively boring day today, except when my brother calls me at work. When the secretary came into my office she said "telephone". At first I don't understand and I ask "pardon"? She says it again, clearer. I'm shocked and I run to the office. I think to myself, at the speed people move over here, whoever's on the phone must have waited awhile!! It turned out to be my brother! It was so cool talking to him!I think we talk for a little too much… It's gonna cost him a small fortune…

We get about 2 billion power failures a day… good thing we have a generator!

I teach my first course on advertising today. I have 2 students, Cady and Fatoumata. Cady participates more and she seems to have advertising in her… She can interpret the things on an ad better than Fatoumata. But then again, maybe Fatoumata's shy or tired or something… Overall, the course went pretty well.

Afterwork we go home to eat. Then at night, Naj and Papy (Raph's step-son) ask me if i want to go out to see the city a bit. I agree. We go to this mountain that over looks the city. On this mountain, there are alot of students since there is a medical school somewhere there. The president also resides somewhere on this mountain. The summet form a kind of "G", so that's why they call it G Point…. Hehehe, I giggle inside. But anyways, the mountain kinda reminds me of Mount Royal back home. Bamako is really small and there are only a few lights that mark the little roads they have… But it's really charming, makes me feel kinda nostalgic… It's funny though, on the roads of the mountain, students are sitting under the lampposts. Naj tells me that they are studying because they don't have electricity in their house! Geez, I tell myself… And I always complain about studying! I don't even have it half as bad as they do!

Well, we're back home, I'm gonna hit the sack…

Bamako, Mali. Wednesday July 1^st, 1998.

HAPPY Canada DAY!! Well, not that anyone here except for Naj and Raph would understand… Work's ok today, I try to build a template for their reports and such… PageMaker's really cool! I Love it! I wish I knew more about this before I came though… I could've learned more with the ressources I have back home. Heck, I wish I brought more books so I can revise things that I am not sure of! Anyways, Naj leaves for Conakry, Guinea today. Some of Infotel's clients stop by my office while touring the place. I try to act business-like, cold, cool and confident. (yeah right) Naj tells me he needs the brochure for next week, upon his return. Man do I have lots of work! But the hard part is I don't have access to ressources like royalty-free photos, high quality clip art and such. I Ask around, but they don't seem to understand me. The guy who works beside me, Gadio, is hitting on me. Uh huh, like as IF! I think he got the picture when I just pretended I was too busy working.

More and more people are asking if they can join in the course. I dunno if I an handle all these people!

At supper, we eat without Naj coz he left this afternoon. Dang, he was the only one I actually felt comfy with. We watch the soccer (here they call it football) match. I'm really starting to get into this game…

The toilets here barely have water in them. I mean, I can flush, and you know how after you flush the water level goes at least a couple of inches below the rim? Well, here, you can forget about that! So when one relieves themselves, instead of either flotting to the top or sliding down, "it" leaves poop marks in the toilet. Try and flush, and they still don't go away… UGH! Well anyways, I take a piece of paper I found in the garbage and try to, ahem, clean up my mess. It works, Thank God. But now I am curious as to what are all these papers in the garbage. I start reading them. I know I shouldn't but they turn out to be e-mails from and to the guy who used to work and sleep here. He's also from Québec. It's like reading a story! Back in 1995, this guys goes out with this older woman. But he's in Love with another girl and tries to go after her! But he's the 800^th on her list so she just wants to be friends. Meanwhile, the other girl has no idea what's going on! Anyways, it's almost like a soap opera… But as time goes one, he leaves the other one and relentlessly pursues the Love of his life. He writes her poems, stories, everything you can possibly imagine! He even gets to be close with her sister. He talks about life here, how people here treat him like a dumbass. I've met him a few times before, and my impression of him was of a big talker. He also writes that he is sick and tired of girls around here since when you go out with one, you date the whole family. He writes how he is wanted by millionairs' daughters and such… Let me tell you, he's not a prince. If my Sebby was here, I'd have to back them off with a hayfork! Anyways, it was cool to read the e-mails, even though it's kinda bad… Disturbing the secrecy of one and then telling the whole world about it! *sheepish grin*

N.B. I kinda forgot to mention that I went to celebrate Canada Day before supper at the Canadian embassy. I got to shake hands and drink with the embassador! Is was pretty cool but in the long run, it got kinda boring coz I didn't know anyone.

Bamako, Mali. Thursday july 2, 1998.

Last night, the aircon was starting to piss me off. We get power surges throughout the night and when we do, the aircon shuts off! Then it gets so hot that i wake up sweaty in the middle of the night. GRR!

Got another pimple. On my nose. Again. And DANG! I have my monthly curse… It's really quite a way to start a day…

I finally did something for a brochure. It's just the first page but it looks pretty good. I'm learning so much here and to think that I'm suppose to be the teacher! Well, I know I won't be able to teach people style and esthetic, so even though the people here would know the basics, if they can't create, then there would be a problem. Which is fine by me, because the company will always need me in that sense. 'Sides, I'm here to replace someone that quit a few months ago and if I leave, then they'll need to scramble for someone else. You know, the world of business is quite tough. They use you and you use them but you have to be careful not to get left behind and eat their dust. I know they want to do this HUGE web development project so they need solid web developpers. I'm not a professional, I know my place so I probably won't be too involved. But they said I can tag along, it would be good for an experience. They would also pay me for the work I would do. The more I think of it, computer graphics is a pretty cool job to do. I have a good knowledge of the software, an eye (although not as good as my brother Boy's) for esthetic, and a sense of technicality when it comes to creating something. Here in Africa, there is a huge need for compujter graphics. The problem is that no one wants to travel and stay here. So you can imagine how much moulah one would get paid for his/her services… If I had a diploma, I might've tried my luck here. But I want to finish my schooling and become a biologist. I don't think all the money in the world can make me change my Love for the science.

The phone here is finally fixed. I chat a bit with Sebby and Phil. We are gonna meet again this Saturday. I also chat with my bro Jonathan. He didn't even know I was in Africa. I tell him. I brace myself for the worst, but he took it gracefully… phew! He and my dad don't talk anymore… again. I wonder when it will stop. You know, they say that to bring people together, you either need a death of a mutual loved one or a disaster. I hope it takes less than that.

3h30 am

I gotta get this dang aircon fixed!!!

Finally Friday!! As if it did any good, I'm probably giving a course tomorrow… I was suppose to give a course today, but me and the technician had a little misunderstanding. He thought I was suppose to install a proxy ( a proxy is a program that lets one divide an internet connection for several workstations) when I thought HE was gonna install it! It turns out that NONE of us had a proxy and it would be too expensive to buy. I got a bad feeling about this course. I would have to build a mini internet using the network of the building. That's alot of work! The problem is that there are about 10 computers but I have about 25 students now! Yikes!