10-21-93...Mommy takes Curt to Dr. Harding to check about mild
headaches, sinus infection
suspected.
... my memories...gladly agreeing with what the x-ray tech had
whispered to me..."shouldn't really
say...but it looks like a sinus infection to
me"...
10-25-93...Curt takes first "Cat" scan. Mommy notified at work to come
to Dr. Harding's office; is
told Curt has a tumor in his brain. Dad told (on the line) to go home
because of a family emergency.
Curt taken out of school and we head for Wichita. Grandpa and Grandma
Stevie come to Dodge to be
with Abby and Krissy.
... my memories...a kick in the gut...nothing like this
expected...received the call in a friends
office...Dr. Harding was evasive...but when she asked...how quick
could I and Curt's dad get there
to talk with her....I knew....instinctively....I pressed her for
more info...screaming into the
phone..."NO!...I can't get ahold of him and I was coming
in right now"...
10-26-93...Numerous tests are given to Curt and surgery to obtain a
sample of tumor is scheduled.
4:30 p.m. Curt is taken down for surgery. 9 p.m. Curtis spends the
night in PICU. Curt receives 1st
MRI of his head in the a.m.
... that entire day! a blur...trying to absorb the information, deal
with emotions, and wondering How?
in the world we were going to tell Curt! I had called the school to let
them know we would be picking
him up. That cherub little face...smiling...with a question in his
eyes...why would mom and dad come
to school? during the day?
the tests!...seemingly endless...all with trauma...no normalcy for
Curt...the inability to understand
why...all this was being done to him...just a few hours before...when
we first checked him into his
room...he was laughing and having a wonderful time playing with the
newness of the room, the bed
that did a hundred times more than his own bed...he launched it as high
as it would go...giggling...I
know he was thinking, "hey! this is gona be
alright!"...
10-27-93...Curt is released from PICU and return to room 7101. Melinda
and Gary Bemiss visit and
bring many gifts from SRS.
... I remember this like it was just yesterday...Melinda and Gary....my
best friend...baring gifts from
my co-workers. Two huge garbage bags full of toys, games,
food...just like them to be go
generous...I remember telling Melinda down in the Court Yard, away
from the chaos...deep down I
had always know I would never be able to 'keep' Curt....funny how raw
your emotions become when
you're thrown into a surreal world of
shock...
10-28-93...Tumor diagnosed as Glioblastoma
Multiforme
... This was a very short quip notation....written a few days after
the initial diagnosis. Larry was
unable to write for a few days...we both had been given the death
sentence for Curt...from a
neurosurgeon who was obviously near tears when he pulled us out into
the hall to relay the news.
Even when cornered, this Dr. would not give me specifics...I point
blank asked him 'how much time
does Curt have'...my query was pushed aside with statistics...and
jargon and mush...tactfully
referring me to the pediatric oncologist who would be taking over
Curt's care. To this day I have been
unable to forgive this man for not being up-front and square with
us...precious time was
wasted...WHY couldn't he admit to his shortcomings as a
physician?....and give us what we
ultimately found...the name of a surgeon who COULD do
something...
10-29-93...Chemotherapy started in early evening. Second MRI scan of
Curtis' spine but sedative
given and all goes well, no other tumors
found.
......"all goes well"....funny...only one parent was allowed to stay
overnight with Curt. There was no
sleeping done...not on my part...the endless noise of the I.V.
going off...nurses in...nurses
out...taking vitals from Curt...his trips to the
bathroom...vomiting...severe head ache...verbalizing he
'knew he was going' to die...and me attempting to convince him he
just 'felt like he was going to
die...and this would pass'...
10-30-93...Curt has a real hard time with severe headaches and
vomiting. Dr. Rosen prescribes
diuretic and Zofran given and evening goes well: able to sleep through
night with no problems other
than frequent trips to pee.
... the Zofran was a God-send...a small white pill...a recent drug
that undeniably gave Curt relief
from the nausea...and the ability to rest...when the damn I.V. wasn't
messing up....which I quickly
learned how to operate and restart on my own...whether getting bubbles
or kinks out of the line...or
shutting the thing off and traveling to find an RN who
could fix it...
10-31-93....Second full day of chemo. goes extremely good; no
discomfort and energy level high:
many visitors but day goes perfect: sleeps
well.
... too many visitors...all well meaning....but just too many....too
soon....Curt felt so shitty....he
tried to be his charming self...but the pain and inconvenience of
everything wore him down...
11-1-93...Is fairly tired all day but remains comfortable. About noon,
I.V. must be changed from left
arm to right arm. Curt sleeps through the
night.
11-2-93...Curt has stitches removed at 8:15 a.m. Mommy and Daddy,
and Curt watch videos
concerning cancer. Chemo is finished and Curt is dismissed at noon. We
arrive home at 6 p.m. Mrs.
Bailey and her husband visit in Wichita.
11-3-93...Curt is too tired to return to school today . Dad visited
with Mrs. Maple at Sunnyside.
11-4-93...Curt went to school today for the first time since returning
from Wichita but was still too
tired and came home after two hours. Curt went to soccer practice
and played real hard.
11-5-93...Curt could only stay a couple of hours at school again today.
Dr. Shapiro recommended we
try tylenol for his headaches. Dad and Curt plan to go to the Munson
and Pick Basketball Tournament
at 6 p.m. We watch both games, Curt is pretty tired but does real
well and the Conqs beat McCook
71-62.
... You trip and you struggle...to make things as normal as you
possibly can...knowing this familiarity
is so important to Curt's emotional well being..you keep
smiling...as best you can...while the
thoughts you have pushed to the back of your mind during the
day...surface at night. You lay...you
cry...you beg God...and finally...you fall asleep, fitfully....just a
few hours before you must start a
new day...a new smile...a false facade of what 'normal' is
supposed to be...
11-6-93...Curt doing real well and makes good progress catching up his
school work with mommy's
help. Dad and Curt go to the Munson-Pick Basketball Classic and see
Bud Light Daredevils. Conq's
lose to Ft. Scoot 74-76. Curt and Dad play catch with a baseball
for a short time today .
pg 2
cont.
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