Uh-oh, you have stumbled into my personal opinions
section. This is a peek into my brain and how I think. Or better yet -
WHAT I think. Buckle up because it may get bumpy from time to time. You
are, of course, welcome to disagree with me. You can even drop me a line
and tell me so. Click the email button and tell me why I am wrong. Go ahead
!
Welcome to 1998
!!
Wow - I am always somewhat stunned when another year ends. I always
have that moment of revelation where I realize I did
not accomplish everything I had hoped in the expiring year. Then
that moment where I realize that I will be writing '97 on my checks until
it really clicks in, which is usually around June for me.
So, what can I say about New Year's ? First off, let me start by
asking ALL of you who went out on New Year's Eve and partied all night,
then drove home fully besotted, and
arrived safely, to thank your lucky stars for that. Then I want you to
make a resolution that Dec 31st, 1998, if out partying and drinking, you
will bloody well take a cab home, or have the designated driver take you
home. Lots of cities offer a program on New Year's where you can get a
free cab ride home, and I strongly encourage use of these programs.
Now, onto another popular New Year's topic : RESOLUTIONS. Ugh.
My buddy Webster says that a resolution is "a course of action firmly decided
on". Hmmm. It may be decided upon firmly, but it does not necessarily stay
that way. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count my past New Year's
Resolutions that have been found belly up two months later. And don't even
try to tell me that I am the only one who fails
! I won't buy that for a micro-second.
So, I am giving you all some tips on setting and keeping resolutions
for this year. Good luck to all !
First - don't make your resolutions
at the big party on New Year's Eve in front of everyone you have ever met
after you've had a dozen glasses of champagne. Goddess knows what you might
resolve to do ! "I resolve to lose 50 pounds by Valentine's Day, stop smoking,
read the classics, be a better employee, friend, parent, significant other,
etc, give back to my community, save the whales, repair the ozone layer,
rid myself of all worldly possessions, and initiate world peace. **hic**."
Yeah, right.
If you thrive on the pressure of knowing your friends are watching
to see if you follow through on things, great. For the rest of us who are
slightly more sane, I encourage sharing resolutions only if you feel they
are completely attainable, and with close pals, not everyone in the joint.
If asked at a party to share a resolution, pick a smaller one, or better
yet, a generalized one. "I resolve to read more of the classics this year."
"I resolve to not allow my actions to further damage the ozone layer by
making ozone-safer purchases."
Second - for pity's sake, be reasonable.
You cannot possibly "lose 50 pounds" in a thirty day window. Not
safely, anyway. When we fail at our resolutions, we internalize that failure,
and believe me, it will eventually affect something. It would be more sensible
to set attainable goals, so when you reach them, you have a positive
success to internalize. So take stock, and make a list that you can live
with.
For example, I am a smoker. (Oh no ! Run for the hills ! She's
one of THEM !) Yeah, yeah, whatever. I actually rather enjoy it.
If I didn't, I would not still be doing it. But, it is damaging my health,
and my husband's health, and it is a bleeding expensive little vice. But,
because I still enjoy it, if I were to say "I resolve to quit smoking this
year" - in a month I would be beating myself up while lighting a cigarette.
So, instead, I will say "I resolve to be more aware of what triggers my
need to smoke, and will cut my intake of cigarettes." Now, my mom
(she's awfully cagey about this stuff !) would say "That's so vague ! If
you smoke one less cigarette than last year you have cut your intake !".
True, mom. But, I am also trying to determine what the triggers are, so
I can use that info to help me cut down further. Perhaps it turns out that
I smoke most when in uncomfortable social situations. Ta-da ! Avoid those
more, smoke less. Ya with me ?
Third - make sure you have the tools
you need to succeed. I am not neccessarily talking physical tools here.
Wanna lose weight ? You will need a scale to measure progress, the budget
for your food, the time to prepare healthy meals rather than running to
McDonald's, the energy to work out when you do not want to, etc. Not that
this is unattainable,.. I believe that this is all possible. But, you must
be prepared to make the other changes to have these tools. For me, time
is a killer. I get up early for work, drive 20 minutes each way, am stuck
at the office for 9 hours a day, then come home, and if I am lucky, do
not have too much housework to do. Squeezing in preparing a week's lunches
and working out a couple times is a big challenge. It means I have to make
other sacrifices. Sitting around reading to relax may have to be alternated
with that swift hour of walking. Or whatever.
Best tip here is to make a serious plan. Don't go crazy - you do
not need to script every second of your day. But make a schedule for yourself,
and make it reasonable so you can stick to it. If you commit to working
out 5 days a week and never eating out again after a lifetime of doing
the opposite, you will be in crash and burn town before you know what hit
ya.
Fourth - build your support system.
If you are quitting smoking, and your best pal is a two-pack a day guy,
with no intention to quit, you are in for lots of temptation. Does this
mean you ditch him ? I certainly hope not. Instead, try to get yourself
some back-up. Maybe it's a little mantra you can repeat to remind you why
you are quitting. Maybe it's another pal who already quit who can join
you so there are two non-smokers. Whatever. The key here is to have support,
not cut downs. I know many situations where the best of friends can subconsciously
snipe each other if one is succeeding where the other is failing. (what
did she just say ?) Let me clarify. If, using the example above, you are
quitting smoking, and appear to be succeeding, Two-Pack may react with
"Oh, go on, just have one" when you comment on how you are craving a cigarette.
That does not make him mean, just human.
Finally, I encourage you NOT to overreact
to backsliding. You are changing patterns here ! That takes time and effort
! How many of us have given up goals of weight loss because we skipped
a workout, or ate something "forbidden" ? Acknowledge that you did in fact
skip that workout, and so you need to make sure you do not miss the next
one this week.
Best of luck to everyone, and be sure to have a safe, happy, and
healthy 1998.
See you next time !
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