You don't have to sort your laundry.

You never have to worry about crowds...everyone moves out of your way.

You need never fear melanoma.

People leave your cats alone.

If you're sad, you can just blame it on being goth.

If you're perky, you can just blame it on being goth.

Annoying people (like the perfume commando in Macy's) avoid you.

Goths and morticians are the only ones who look good driving a hearse.

You're easy to spot in a crowd.

Unelss you're in a dark goth club...then it's easy to hide!

Got a run in your stockings? That's ok, you're a goth!

If you smear your eyeliner, people will just think it's supposed to be that way.

Don't worry about getting lipstick on youre boyfriend...chances are, he's wearing some, too.

It's easy to sneak up and scare people at night.

When riding the bus, the seat next to you stays vacant longest.

Indecisive? Goths have one easy choice: black.

Babies like brightly colored hair.

You have an excuse for looking "like you crawled out of a grave".

Worn and tattered do not mean you must throw it out.

Don't like your parents? Chances are (thanks to the media) they fear you.

Black never goes out of style.

Electronics match your decor.

People think you're interesting.

All the fetishy girls want to take you home.

If something doesn't fit any more, you can tear it up and still wear it.

Other kids don't mess with your kid because "his mom is scary, I think she's a witch!".

Gothic children are more open minded, and much better dressed..