12/3/95

Just Starting.....Just Finished!

I felt bemused, 
confused and a little used.
Stepping out of the car, 
uncertainty was by far
the feeling that I felt most, 
I was reeling.

Take it with a pinch of salt? 
Was it all my fault?
You wouldn't really tell me
that "we" weren't "us"
but always ourselves, 
two books on separate shelves
far apart and never to be read together.

How stupid I felt, my being reeling
from the blow you'd dealt
to thoughts of closeness. 

Yet I'd bought
that dream without thinking the doubt.
The doubt I learnt to love, 
which I yearned to go away. 

Now, thanks to you, its gone,
Its gone, and maybe I can move on,
shift ground, spin around on this merry-go-round
and try to find another. 

I'm certain of it. Maybe. Perhaps.