11/3/95

regret...?

The words reverberate
around my brain, thoughts wash away
to the sewer.

What have I done wrong?
Nothing and everything, 
in any case, 
knowledge is no consolation
as I am alone, again,
for an indefinite duration.

My theories confirmed, regret returns
haunting me, like Banquo’s ghost.

It may not be complete rejection, 
yet it adds to my humility, my affinity
for self-loathing and uncertainty.
Tendencies for social martyrdom
are nourished by an ending, a finish.

I’m confused, hurt, bemused, teary
still there’s hope I'll get rid of regret.
Hoping that the darkness won’t return
to quench the sun that has shone
for you, for me,

I won’t forget
but will I .....regret?