The Great Raymondo

The question is on everyone's lips
Ray is it really real?
how does it feel?
dragging the comb through
that hair unreal - is it of your head
or some horses tail,
a surgeons knife
or some third-world midwife?

Is the coiffure an illusion
of postmodern confusion
the simulation of TV virility
towering follicles of perfection
imposing their judgement on clean pates,
social degenerates, welfare cheats
your sombre-faced head shakes
an eyebrow raises, is it just as real?

Strand by Strand story
of human interest glory
a memorial to hair, glorious hair
please sir - I want more
of Ray's big hair
it's not fair
that no matter how we stare
its always - just there,
every weeknight he goes to air