The Businessman farts and charges you
for spreading his wealth

Politicians fart a lot -
it’s called parliamentary debate

Kids fart and don’t care
Women never fart
or if they do, everyone stares
and they say
“it must have been the chair”
Men fart loudly and exclaim
“better out than in”
for men, farting is a responsibility
and certainly not a sin

If you have a dog
it will get blamed for all SBDs

Musicians tune their farts.
After eating beans and rice,
they perform anal arias
and sphincter symphonies

The conductor uses his wand
to waft his odour
over to the orchestra
causing one wag to remark
‘so, does that mean we are playing
an unfinished movement?’

Artists fart then create a meaning for it.
Critics smell perfume, when its really just a fart,
the public says it all stinks and asks why
it should pay for a natural process.
Performance Artists fart soliloquoys
and pronounce “I am a fartist.”

Marketing gurus bottle any old fart
and tell you it’s “NEW and IMPROVED”
with brand new “Rectal Revele Technology tm”

Economists can tell you about the suppply,
but cannot work out the demand for farts

One of the Lumiere brothers...
(you know those guys who invented the ballon)
well, one of them he filled one whole
with one of his farts
upon smelling the odour he said
“this sure smells better than all those dead dogs
but I might have to think about changing the process
and burning some well-seasoned logs instead”.

Some people kick up a stink
about the stink of others,
pretending that we should be ashamed
of a process that is natural.
They don’t stop and think
that we’re all sisters and brothers
in one big farting International