I have not discussed an element that undoubtedly played a key role in my reaching the degree of ecstasy- and resultant state of absolute no-desire- that triggered my transcendent journey. Up until the age of 40 I had been adamant about not smoking or using any kind of drugs- even such common medication as aspirin. At that age however, I was making a life change from a career as an underwater photographer where my health was a major obsession, to working as an oceanographic technician operating remote deep-sea cameras from a ship-board control room, which was much less physically demanding. While on a shore leave on a research cruise to the Bahamas I joined some of the scientists who had acquired some marijuana joints from the locals, and smoked some cannabis for the first time. The effect made me feel exceptionally convivial and I picked up a young American tourist and took her to a nearby dance club. I had always had a relatively inhibited personality to the point that in my late teens I had read Conditioned Reflex Theory by Andrew Salter and practiced the book's self-hypnotic therapy to overcome my clinical shyness. This did not, however, remove much of my social dysfunction and I had always avoided dancing and never learned any style beyond the two-step slow dance. Now however, I had no hesitation in taking my date to the center of the dance floor which was packed with some fifty or more couples gyrating to a variety of popular styles but the only one I was mentally familiar with was the "monkey" which I must have recalled from a TV show, and immediately went into an inspired recreation of what I remembered from the TV performance. My partner seemed to reflect my enthusiasm and for several minutes we were locked in a performance that was apparently spectacular because I suddenly became aware that the entire group of dancers had stopped their own dancing and had formed an audience in a circle around us. I remember them coming into my awareness like a scene out of "Saturday Night Fever" and I was Travolta surrounded by an admiring throng of hand-clapping, foot stomping fans. But as soon as I became aware of my being the center of attraction, my inhibiting meme kicked in, and immediately stopped dancing and took my partner's hand and slunk off the dance floor followed by the quizzical stares of the crowd. I was apparently able to salvage our date because I remember later we were in my hotel room together where she refused to believe that I had never danced the monkey before that night. As I recall, we didn't make out because she got freaked out over the issue.
This first experience led to my cautiously integrating cannabis into an increasingly hedonistic lifestyle where I used it on an average of once-a-week sex dates since it fairly consistently acted as an aphrodisiac. During the next couple of years I had a succession of a number of girlfriends and slowly built a regimen involving a disciplined use of grass in terms of frequency (once a week) and quantity (just a few tokes). This is reportedly the frequency practiced by the Sikh a Hindu sect known for their enterprise (although since they were prohibited from smoking they drank bhang- a concoction of cannabis hash in milk or tea) and was appropriate for my new career entrepreneuring in real estate which required I stay focused during the workweek.
This sex/grass regimen, although largely hedonistic, had a spiritual component and I became convinced that I should become more intimate with this natural gift and be directly involved in its creation. The grass available back then in Miami came from Jamaica with seeds, so I reared some seedlings in fiber pots and after about 4 weeks at home- transplanted about a dozen along the banks of a canal dug in Everglades muck way out west off the Tamiami Trail. I planted the pots at different heights along the sides of the banks exposed above the waterline about 6 feet so that some would likely survive changes in the water level. I never went back to the site until about three and a half months later when I figured it was time for harvesting. I thought it would be helpful to have a lookout for the operation and also presented an opportunity to have a project as a line to pick up a "chick" that frequented the Coconut Grove Park- so talked a girl into coming along in exchange for giving her some of the harvest. When we arrived at the remote site in my van there was a car parked at the far end of the road where three guys were shooting hand guns at targets they had set up along the canal bank. I could tell they were Cubans by their animated manner and loud voices. I instructed the girl to stand up on one of the higher mounds along the canal bank and signal me if any of the guys approached our area while I hiked out to see if there were any plants for me to recover. When I got to the planted area it was completely bare of any plants the size I expected my grass to be...just allot of few-inch high weeds and one big bush about 5 feet tall. Greatly disappointed, I turned to leave but decided to check out the bush more out of frustration than expectation. Amazingly- against all odds- the huge bush was a sole survivor of my planting! It was dense with fine leaves and bud clusters and no seeds or efflorescence- so not only was it female but it was something which I had not at the time ever heard of- sensimilla! In addition it had some entire branches that had apparently slowly died from being hit and partially severed by stray gunshot with the leaves slowly soaking up the available resin in the dying stems.
Just as I was about to pull the bush, there was an explosion of hysterical cries from the Cuban gang and I jumped up higher on the bank to see what was the commotion. What I saw was one of the group squirming on the ground and the other two guys frantically pick him up and start running in the wrong direction of their car- suddenly reverse- and run yelling and screaming back to their car, jam the guy inside and pile in and take off in a cloud of coral dust, the vehicle weaving erratically down the road and out of sight. (Later the girl told me the guys had apparently gotten turned on by this cute chick in short cutoffs and halter top watching them shoot their guns off and they started showing off- twirling their weapons simulating fast draws and one guy doing a twirl, shot himself right in the stomach.) With this tragic distraction over, I wanted to exploit the opportunity for privacy and quickly returned to pull out my bush. When I went to wrap my hand around its trunk I could not get my hand completely around the base and was amazed at not only its girth but the buttress-tree-like form of its trunk. It actually pulled out of the loose muck fairly easily and I hurried it back to the van where it filled the entire cargo space.
Although she declined my invitation to share a smoke back at my house since she was planning to travel back to her home up North that day, I gave my companion about an ounce of the dried leaves from one of the clipped branches. About a week later I got a letter from her telling me that she and her friends had smoked some of the grass and had a mystical high of their lifetimes.
The grass that came from this amazing plant- especially the sun-dried buds- I believe directly enabled my experiencing my transcendent journey. It had a mystical quality that seemed to enhance every aspect of my and Patti's sensuality along with evoking a sense of spirituality. I believe that whether by my imagination or in fact, a numinous bond had imbued this home-grown grass (I named "SuperGirl") with a quality which raised the intensity of my lovemaking with Patti to an ecstatic climax resulting in my state of absolute desirelessness- which triggered my transcendent journey.
The psychological principles of Vamacara Tantra prescribes behavior that violates whatever moral standards conventional society holds, particularly in regards to sexual conduct. In Vedic India, this developed into ritual acts and meditations which compounded the Tantrikas sense of excitement in doing what is forbidden but only in a way that is experienced as a mutual turn-on by each member of a Tantric couple. Meditations on the union of Shiva/Shakti in the creation of the phenomenal world was in itself a violation of the Vedic principle of Maya. Consuming meat and alcohol heightened the sense of adventure. A proper Tantric consort is one other than your spouse and group sex and various permutations of transgressive acts such as having an orgy in a graveyard were mentioned in the esoteric literature.
In contemporary secular progressive Western society there isn't much behavior that can provide the sense of doing what is forbidden but society has laid down some specifics by law. Relevant items covered are the consumption of cannabis and age of female consent which in most states in the US is eighteen, in Georgia- sixteen and Mississippi- fifteen. Some laws against sodomy are still on the books. Of course Muslim's obey the example set by Muhammad who consummated his marriage to Aisha when she was nine. See World Map Legal Age. It can be assumed that introducing a variety of sexual stimuli to one's partner which are both mutual turn-ons and relatively unconventional provides neo-tantriks the equivalent of doing the forbidden to conform to the psychological environment of Vamacara Tantra.
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