You Know You're a Goth If...

• your monthly budget includes a triple digit number for makeup and hair die expenses.
• You have to use Tarn-X on all your jewelry.
• Your eyesight is weakened from reading by candlelight.
• Every time a pair of pantyhose runs, you're happy - a new shirt!
• You've ever worn electrical tape as clothing...
• You -actually-understand- Shelley, but prefer Byron for his panache...
• You know the official -names- of most haircolour lines' blacks, purples and reds.
• Your idea of summer clothing is to wear a black lace Tshirt [rather than velvet, of course - too hot).
• You -refuse- to stop wearing velvet in summer....
• "Edward Scissorhands" is one of your "comfort movies".
• "Labyrinth", "Legend", and "Nightmare Before Xmas" are others.
• You're "over" _Propaganda_.
• You're *not* over _Permission_ and/or _Carpe Noctem_.
• You can differentiate between vampires as portrayed by Tanith Lee, Anne Rice, and Poppy Z. Brite, but you don't play the RPG because "that's sooooooo tragically vampcore".
• You hate the smell of regular cigs, "but cloves are fine".
• You have some sort of Halloween stuffed animal.
• Eeyore was your favorite Pooh character.
• If by some mischance Dracula wouldn't find your home decor welcoming, Pinhead might. [If it's not Early Victorian funeral Parlour, there's a good chance it's Torture Chamber or a mix thereof.]
• You know enough about Cleopatra to bitch about them.
• You try on whatever corset Frederick's is selling, admire yourself in the mirror for a moment, and then hand it to the salesgirl with an apologetic explanation that the boning was not restrictive enough, "but what can you expect for $70", while she gives you a strange look.
• Your purse qualifies as a deadly defensive weapon.
• So does your jewelry.
• So does your hair.
• When wearing a hat, you must lift the veil to be able to see more than 10 feet in front of you.
• You have excess packages of purple xmas lights lying around.
• You spend more money on halloween decor than all the other holidays combined!
• You have been known to shop for day-to-day makeup at a theatrical supplier's.
• Your ruffles or netting are always getting caught on things.
• You own a coffin-shaped jewelry box or handbag.
• you own a coffin shaped ANYTHING!
• you have ever used the word "gundy".
• You like to socialize, but really your best friends are Beanie Babies.
• you've turned down an outing with friend because it might "spoil your complexion".
• you stand up to people because somewhere in the back of your mind you are thinking, "if i get punched, and get a black eye, the makeup will cover it."
• you stand up to people because somewhere in the back of your mind you are thinking, " i dont think they understand about my purse... ", and you grin demonically.
• people say things to you like:
  • "isn't black _last season's_ colour?"
  • "going to a funeral?"
  • "who died?"
  • "you should really wear some color...you know...men really like women who wear colors"
  • "If you put her in light colors I think she'd disappear"
  • "I'm not buying you any more black [item of clothing or decor]
  • "Wear some colors girl!"
  • "How about this.. its [name of colour other than black]... ever heard of that?"
• you always have a retort in less then one millionth of the time it took them to think that one up.
• kubuki dancers got nothin on you
• your web bookmarks/favourite places are divided into folders like so: music, clubs, friends, magazines, fashion, mailorder gothic fashion, catalogues, more catalogues, other mailorder, corsetry, hearse hookups, dark side of the web, and alt.gothic.fashion FAQ.
• you have a thousand jewelry items that are roughly T shaped..35 anhks, 47 crosses...
• when you go bowling/miniature golfing/etc., the teams have very long, very witty names, and the people bowling near you keep looking at your screen to get the joke.
• regarding pets, you are one of two types, a scaleygoth, or a furrygoth.
• you read this and made a checklist.
• your checklist was on black paper with a black pen.

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  thanks to thessaly, eileen, me, some people who's names i couldnt find [come claim your glory!] and a little from simmyqux.

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  down by the bay, where the watermelons grow, back to my home, i dare not go. for if i do, my mother will say, "have you ever seen a goth, near the light like a moth down by the bay?"

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  a division of Gothfaeri's Bouncy Kastle / written by none other than the infamous gothfaeri herself

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