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Discussion on family issues for the returning student.

Other people are affected by your return to school

1. Spouse/significant other.
2. Children.
3. Parents, brothers, and sisters.
4. Friends/social relationships.
5. Prior commitments.

Some of the questions that you may want to think about as you consider how your return to school may affect these people may include:

1. Do you think you will feel guilty about doing something that does not include your spouse or significant other?
2. Do you feel comfortable excluding others from a new part of your life: your educational experience?
3. Do you know how to ask for support from those around you, especially when they may be jealous of the time you are spending on your new endeavour?
4. When you are with your family, do you know how to provide them with "quality time?"

Ways to gain the support of family

1. The successful adult student acknowledging the need for private time in order to study.
2. The importance of preparing a "space" in the home that is set aside for study.
3. Knowing how to garner support from people by articulating what you want and need in order to succeed. This may include:
   Attention to noise levels in the home.
   Guidelines on invasion of "study space."
   Communicating when to disturb and not to disturb.

Important points for you to keep in mind:

1. Understand the importance of planning ahead when it comes to dealing with family and spousal responsibilities.
   This is especially true around holiday and other "special events" times such as birthdays and anniversaries.
2. Know the importance of delegating responsibilities to others who should be helping with some of the chores around the house or workplace, so that you can concentrate on spending quality time with everyone in the family.
3. Ask the family what their needs are, so that time spent with the family is quality time.
   One main advantage of asking what everyone wants is that you get to know what changing interests everyone in the family might have. Often with adult students in college, the minor changes in family members are not as apparent, since more attention is being paid to study and not as much to members of the family.
4. Know when to spend romantic time with a significant other.
5. Know how to set limits, and enjoying quality free time as much as possible by not dwelling on school.
6. Understand that in order to succeed some existing responsibilities and commitments may have to be given up, so that new responsibilities (school) can fit into an already tight schedule.
7. Know how and when to give and receive emotional support.
8. Understand the importance of being positive about the changes that are going on in the family and the adjustments that need to be made on everyone's part.
9. Make sure that a promise is kept when made to the family, significant other, or spouse, since time is now a premium in the your life.
10. Make sure that you listen to everyone's concerns about returning to school. This helps for "buy in" purposes since everyone is included in the process.
11. Understand that a positive attitude can make all the difference in the world!