Father Ted
Father Ted is an Irish comedy about 3 parish priests living on a remote Island off the Irish west coast. The characters are Fr. Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan), Fr Dougal Maguire ( Ardal O'Hanlan ) Fr. Jack Hackett (Frank Kelly) and Mrs. Doyle (Pauline McLynn). It was written by Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews. The show ran for three seasons and was huge success straight from the first episode (the one with the fun fair in "the field"). It was filmed in Co. Clare in Ireland and also in the UK. The show had guest appearences from many of Ireland's best comedians including.... Brendan Grace, Tommy Tiernan, Jason Byrne, Kevin Gildea, Patrick McDonnell, Joe Rooney, Pat Shortt, Jon Kenny etc. Despite only three seasons the show has reached cult status and has been aired in many countries.. these are the countries I know for sure:- Ireland, UK, France, Belguim, Australia, US, Canada, Italy.. maybe others.
Ardal O'Hanlan is one of Ireland's funniest stand up comedians and apart from his role as Dougal in Father Ted, he has hosted "The Stand Up Show" on BBC. If ever you get the opportunity to see Ardal live, treat yourself to an unbelievably funny experience. Ardal is also currently starring in MY HERO a comedy on BBC on Friday evenings. Check out Ardals website for more http://www.ardalohanlon.co.uk
Dermot Morgan who died in February 1998 was one of Ireland's long established comedians. He was known in Ireland for his work with both Irish television and radio. His show "Scrap Saturday" on Irish Radio was probably his best known show before his role as Father Ted on Channel 4 comedy hit.
*NEW* Father Ted video just released .. click here for details
What does it look like ?? check out the sleeve here!!
Father Ted Series 1 is coming to DVD (Region 2).
Father Ted on DVD for the US (Region 1).
Episode List
Below are some wave files from the series. Some of the files are rather big and may take some time to download.
bra.wav (323K) ............Dougal's casual discussion about women?s clothing.
beast.wav (425K) ........Dougal describes The Beast
santa.wav (66K) .........Ted has a confession
Memory.wav (560K) ....Dougal Reflects on a memorable visit to Kildare
last.wav (195K) ............How did he survive that one.
Joke.wav (582K) ..........It's a joke telephone.
gardasta.wav (206K) ...In need of food.
thefly.wav (105K) .........Out of Africa or The fly
Scary.wav (179K) ........A scary film
Agro.wav (132K) .........Afraid of fighting ??
Trial1.wav (370K) .......First attempt of writting "my lovely horse"
Ted :
cgame.wav (285K) ........Ted gets a review of the film The Crying Game
Gosh.wav (117K) ........A shocking announcement
lesson.wav (185K) ......Ted gives Jack an elocution lesson
botty.wav (277K) .........All the great things about Jack.
Fbeepnote.wav (332K) ..Ted in a creative mood.
Roddy.wav (346K) .... Roddy Doyle books a bad influence on Dougal
medtest.wav (452K) ......What
would a priest know about medicine ? oldJim.wav (169K) ......Old jim is dying.. he won't like that. Girls.wav (25K) ........Jack's
favorite Word brick.wav (38K) .......Jack's
pet brick gobshite.wav (47K) ...Jack's
description of Ted water.wav (77K) ......Jack's
Favorite Drink...Well no biscuits.wav (17K)....Some
nice biscuits feckcup.wav (36K) ....What
do you say to a cup ??? drink.wav (11K) ........
Jack's favorite Word (2) Jack3.wav (114K) ........Jack's
three favorite Words Bastard.wav (800K) ....A
disturbing book that's just too much Go on.wav (158K) ......The
famous words from Mrs. Doyle croaigh.wav (750K) ......A visit to St. Patricks Hill Bishop.wav (190K) .....Len's
correct title len.wav (121K) ...........Len's
correct title eoin.wav (21K).........Who
is it ?? wee.wav (73K) ........A
strange smell willy.wav (9K) ........Eoin's
Confession alone.wav (31K) .......Eoin
makes a threat fatbitch.wav (182K) ......A
typical conversation cow.wav (85k) ...........Another
conversation between John and Mary. maryjohn.wav (209K) ....The
loving couple again. dirtyfeck.wav (274K) ....Dirty
home videos?? rude.wav (115K) ..........Upsetting
Fr. Stack Alive.wav (274K) ....Stuck in the dark caves with Fr. Noel bohnoel.wav(800k) ....Noel sings a Queen classic theme.wav (717K) .......By
popular demand the intro music to Father Ted horse1.wav .......My Lovely Horse horse2.wav .......My Lovely Horse fup.wav (275K) .......... Some bad language - well not really
fupoff.wav (127K) ....... Some bad language - well not really
Here are some of my fav quotes.. enjoy.. Dougal: Ted can I stay up tomorrow night to watch the scary film? Ted: oh no no no no the last time you watched a scary film you had to
sleep in my bed, I wouldn't mind it wasn't even that scary a film. Dougal: ah come on now ted, a volkswagon with a mind of its own, driving all over the place and going mad, if that's not scary i don't know what
is. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Dougal: Look, this tables so dirty I can write my name in it. Ted: There's a 'G' in Dougal. Dougal: Where? ********************************************************************************************************************************** Dougal: Good news Ted! I think he's just pulled up! And the good news
is, that he can only afford a crappy blue Ford Cortina. Ha! Just imagine driving around in that thing. Ted: That's MY car. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Ted: Dougal, have we any incense? Dougal: well, em...there was a spider in the bath last night. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Ted : So you took Father Jack out for a walk... and you lost him. Again. Dougal : Well, Ted, like I said the last time: it won't happen again.
Sure now, what's the worst that could happen to him anyway? Ted : Well Dougal, he could have an accident and be killed. Dougal : ...Oh right, yes. Dougal : hang on a minute there ted, is that not jack there. [jack is sprawled out on the living room floor] Ted: ah dougal, you didn't even get him out the door did you. Dougal: i thought the wheelchair felt a bit light today alright. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Dougal: Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Mrs Doyle: Are you looking forward to your lunch tomorrow, Father? Ted: Hmmm? I suppose so. Mrs Doyle: You do like pheasant, don't you Father? Ted: Pheasant? I love pheasant. Mrs Doyle: Well there's a little clue. The thing you'll be eating likes pheasant as well. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Ted: Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, 'collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?' ********************************************************************************************************************************** Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in
black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all. Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism. Dougal: Oh right. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and
tell people what to do. Whereas priests... ...More drink! ********************************************************************************************************************************** Polly Clarke: My husband. Now there was a man who really was afraid of Virginia Woolf. Ted: Why? Was she... following him or something? ********************************************************************************************************************************** Dougal: C'mere Ted, Ted, Teddy, Ted. God, I love being a priest. We're
all going to heaven lads, wheeeyyyyyy! ********************************************************************************************************************************** Ted: You know the phrase 'to take care of something'? Well, I realise
now that you meant that in a sort of Al Pacino way. Whereas I was thinking
more ********************************************************************************************************************************** Pat Mustard:
I'm a very careful man, Father. ********************************************************************************************************************************** Ted: Dougal, don't you think that if we put
this baby's moustache, this baby's head hair and this baby's sideboards
together we'd get....Pat Mustard? ********************************************************************************************************************************** Funland
activities. (if I missed any mail me) ·
The
Tunnel of Goats ·
Freak
Pointing ·
The
Ladder ·
The
Whirly-go-round ·
The
Spinning Cat ·
Duck
Startling ·
Tarot
Reading ·
The
Chair of Death ·
The
Pond of Terror ·
Goading
Fierce Man ·
Hen
Chariots AND ·
THE
SPIDER BABY! You are visitor Last up dated the
25/04/2004
Dedicated to the memory of Dermot Morgan
John and Mary
O'Leary...The loving couple :
If you can get your hands on the origional scripts (on paper back from hattrick productions). There are loads of scenes that were taken out of the final version that are very funny.
Ted: Except when it
comes to taking precautions in the bedroom!
Pat: You're not
advocating the use of artificial contraception now, are you?
Ted: Well,
ye......well, no...well, naturally.....well, not really....well, of course
you'd............JUST FECK OFF!
Dougal: D'you think the babies could be
copying his style?
Ted: No, Dougal, I think Pat Mustard's been
delivering more than just dairy products, if you see what I mean.
Dougal Yes.......well........er...y..well.......yes.
Ted: Do you?
Dougal: No.
Any
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Trevor /
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And the greatest F1 driver ever. 10 years gone but not forgotten.
Ayrton Senna
