- — "The
Simpsons"
True genius lies not in doing extraordinary
things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.
- —Unknown.
A professional is someone who can do his best
work when he doesn't feel like it.
- — Alistair Cooke.
- 1906-
The world cares very little about what
a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do.
- — Booker
T. Washington.
- 1856-1915
Everything is possible within the
imagination, nothing is probable without perspiration.
- — Drew Locher.
This must be the only job in America that everybody knows how to do better than
the guy who’s doing it.
- — Nestor Chylak
(1922-1982), Major League Baseball umpire.
I don't want to retire.
I'm not that good at crossword puzzles.
- — Norman Mailer.
- 1923-
Meetings are indispensable when you
don't want to do anything.
- — Gailbraith.
Doing nothing: That's hard work.
- — Fowles.
Never drink beer at your desk. Supervisors don't like it.
- — Shoales.
It's always been and will always be in the world: the horse does the work, and
the coachman gets tipped.
- —Unknown.
One of the saddest things is that the thing a
man can do for eight hours a day, day after day, is work. You can't eat for eight hours a
day, nor drink for eight hours a day, nor make love for eight hours a day. All you can do
for eight hours is work.
- — William
Faulkner.
- 1897-1962
A committee is a group that keeps
minutes and loses hours.
- — Milton Berle.
- 1908-
The secret of managing is to keep the
guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
- — Casey Stengel.
- 1890-1975
It seems a lot of young people want
an occupation that doesn't keep them occupied.
- —Unknown.
Don't worry about the job you don't like.
Someone else will soon have it.
- —Unknown.
A lot of folks are flocking to Washington to
ask what they can do for their country — and what the salary will be!
- —Unknown.
Ulcers are contagious. You can get them from
your boss.
- —Unknown.
Be thankful if your job is a little harder than
you like. A razor can't be sharpened on a piece of velvet.
- —Unknown.
According to the latest statistics, there are
five million Americans who aren't working. And there are even more if you count those with
jobs.
- —Unknown.
The most dangerous position in which to sleep
is with your feet on your office desk.
- —Unknown.
The best time to start thinking about
retirement is before your boss does.
- —Unknown.
Stick to your job until one of you is through.
- —Unknown.
There may be luck in getting a job, but the
nearest to perfection that most people ever come is when filling out a job application.
- —Unknown.
Some workers are trying to make both weekends
meet.
- —Unknown.
It's always hard to find a job for the fellow
who doesn't want one.
- —Unknown.
The government will soon conduct a survey as to
why people get bored on the job. Just thinking about this survey makes one drowsy.
- —Unknown.
There is no future in any job. The future is in
the man who holds the job.
- —Unknown.
Four word story of failure: Hired, tired,
mired, fired.
- —Unknown.
The fellow who is fired with enthusiasm for his
work is seldom fired by his boss.
- —Unknown.
Nothing is quite as embarrassing as watching
your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
- —Unknown.
One way to deflate your ego is to read the want
ads in the newspapers and discover all the jobs you're not equipped to handle.
- —Unknown.
Economists predict the year ahead will reward
hard workers. What a frightening outlook for many!
- —Unknown.
No dream comes true until you wake up and go to
work.
- —Unknown.
Belly dancing is the only profession where the
beginner starts in the middle.
- —Unknown.
Going to college won't guarantee you a job, but
it'll give you four years to worry about getting one.
- —Unknown.
You can tell a man's character by what he turns
up when offered a job, his nose or his sleeves.
- —Unknown.
Before arguing with your boss, make absolutely
sure you're right, and then let the matter drop.
- —Unknown.
Before you have an argument with your boss,
you'd better take a good look at both sides: his side and the outside.
- —Unknown.
The best way to appreciate your job is to
imagine yourself without one.
- —Unknown.
A man with a burning ambition is seldom fired.
- —Unknown.
Anybody who thinks a joke about a plumber is
funny hasn't had a faucet replaced lately.
- —Unknown.
Nothing improves a joke more than telling it to
your employees.
- —Unknown.
He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably
isn't very far from retirement.
- —Unknown.
Only lords and fools criticize a job
half-finished.
- — Swedish Proverb.
A volunteer is as good as ten pressed men.
- —Unknown.
If it were not for meetings, we would never get
anything done.
- —Unknown.
It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
- — Bill Watterson.
- 1958-
There is nothing so pleasing to the
typical manager as the sound of his own voice echoing through the empty heads of an
ignorant workforce.
- — John Mitchell.
- 1870-1919