* Did you hear about the kid who traded his hotdog for a hamburger??
- He was participating in a SWAP MEAT!!!!
* What did one worm say to another worm?
-I know a restaurant where we can eat dirt cheap!!
* Why are Bankers good bike riders?? - They are good at keeping their balance!!
* Why wouldn’t the bike move very fast?? - It was too(2) tired!!
* What do termites do to relax?
- Take a coffee table break!!
Did you hear about the new corn they have been growing in Iowa. It's Ross Perot Corn. It doesn't grow very big, but it has big ears.
* When a girl slips on the ice, why can’t her brother help her up?
- Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.
* Who is Dracula’s favorite person on the baseball team?
-The BAT boy!
* Why do Vampire have to brush their teeth?
- Because they have Bat-Breath.
* What do you get if you cross a giant and a vampire?
- A BIG pain in the neck!
* What is a Mummy's favorite kind of music?
- RAGtime music! or wRAP!!!
* Why is an evil witch like a candle?
- They are both WICK-ED
* What weighs 909 kg (2,000 pounds for all of you inefficient,
non-metric "people") and is bare to the bone?
- A skeleTON!!!
* What do ghouls wear on their feet in the rain?!?
- GHOUL-OSHES!!!
* What geometric figure represents a lost parrot?
- A polygon.
* How can you have bread if you are on a liquid diet?
- Drink a toast!!
* How can you make a slow horse fast?
- Stop feeding him!!
* Why is a turkey more evil than a chicken?
- Because a turkey is always a'gobblin' (a goblin)
* Why do turkeys eat so little?
- Because they are always stuffed! (Hey- I warned you these were bad!)
* Why do carpenters believe that there is no such thing as stone?
- Because they never SAW it!!
* Why do bees have sticky hair?
- Because they use honeycombs!!
* Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
- So he can ho-ho-ho.
* What do you get when a cat walks along a beach?
- Sandy Claws!!
* What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
- Snowflakes.