The Best of Jarodnyk's Adventures

Caution : Biohazard !


Jarodnyk woke from his nap to be pressed into service for the DSM Main Office relocation to Nova Station. He didn't mind the heavy lifting or the packing, and he scored himself an extra technical manual for swoop bikes..which would come in handy when he designed a flight-pack for himself.

With most of the serious work done, Jarodnyk walked back over to the Inn Station bulletin boards to see if there were anything else he could do to earn his keep. The DSM will need to replenish their coffers after the move.

His attention was soon diverted when he heard the normal, heavy footsteps of a human approaching from down the hall stop cold near him. His metal body tensed, preparing for an attack just in case.

"I take it you're not reading the social calendar," came the scratchy voice.

What kind of comment was that? Jarodnyk wondered. He looked at the man who had addressed him, a 5'4" pudgy, balding, graying man with bushy eyebrows and a mustache. He was dressed in a white lab coat over tan pants and was apparently unarmed. Jarodnyk adjusted his eyes to glow a deeper, darker red, a tactic he was experimenting with to help convey his emotions to non-Taloids.

"My, my, you are a fascinating fellow. The workmanship is even more exquisite in person. I must admit I didn't believe my friend in security when he said he saw a droid wearing clothes and jewelry entering and leaving a spaceship alone. We've been watching you ever since, trying to figure you out."

Jarodnyk, feeling threatened again, folded his arms in front of his chest, leaned forward slightly to initimidate with his height advantage, and asked, "Why?"

"Well, a droid with a ship is perfect for our needs. Where do I go to inquire about hiring you?"

"How about right here?"

"No, I mean your owner. Or do you belong to those mercenaries we've seen you hanging around with?"

"The Dark Star Mercenaries? I am a full member in good standing. The leaders have released us to seek employment on our own for now."

"Interesting programming. Almost makes me wish I understood robotics. We've also noticed you're very curious, and downright scientific when investigating something. Perhaps you'd like to check out our lab while we discuss business."

The Taloid was suspicious, but decided that was healthy. More importantly, he mustn't let anyone else see his fear.



"And what is your designation?"

"Jarodnyk."

"A name, no number, well well. My name is Boltarh."

As far as he could tell, they were heading toward the interior of the station. While waiting for a turbolift to take them down a few levels, he leaned against the opposite wall, bringing one foot against it, looking casual and unconcerned. One of his hands was behind his back where Boltarh couldn't see it. With the thumbnail on his hidden hand he made a series of small scratches in the wall, his initial, the time, and the direction he was heading in, all written in Taloid.

He inspected the interior of the lift before going in, and casually leaned against the wall again. When Boltarh entered the level into the controller, Jarodnyk scratched that number in Taloid into the walls also. Confident that he had left sufficient clues as to his whereabouts he continued to follow Boltarh down the hall.

The man stopped in front of one door and operated a keypad lock and a palm scanner. When the door slid open he took only one step through and turned around to face Jarodnyk. Boltarh pointed up to a camera mounted on the wall.

"For our protection, from our sponsor, but we don't need it now."

With that, Boltarh swung his hand and tipped over a beaker of acid. It spilled onto the power pack for the camera and fizzled angrily. Boltarh looked up and waited for the red light on the camera to go out.

"Ooops," he said, "Accidents like that can happen in a lab."

He motioned for the Taloid to enter, then stepped fully inside.

Jarodnyk leaned in slightly, making a short, horizontal scratch on the wall outside and scanned for danger with his myriad senses.

Most of the equipment was sterile white or florescent orange and yellow. He didn't spot much that resembled the heavy metalworking machinery of the factories and forests. In fact, it looked vaguely like an artisan's organics crafting workshop. His keen sense of smell told him ambient magnetic fields and current levels were way low for mechanical re-manufacturing. The only standouts were what appeared to be a cooling unit, a heating unit, and a centrifuge. He guessed it was safe to enter, and Boltarh made no mention to him of removing his very visible weapons.

"Sharon, Wiley," Boltarh announced, "Remember that strange droid we were talking about? Well, I found him," he waved his hand toward the Taloid, "His name is Jarodnyk."

Jarodnyk bowed his head respectfully and sized up the two other lab-coated humans. Wiley was thin with unkempt red hair and a sharp nose. Sharon was a tall stately female with jet black hair and green eyes. She was slim and well muscled with understated curves and distinct cheekbones. She carried a datapad and was perched on the end of a table.

"So you're thinking of using him. From what I've seen he's too naive," said Wiley.

"Oh, I'm sure that's just a front. He's with those mercenaries," replied Boltarh.

"Great. Don't mercenaries always go to the highest bidder? You think he's trustworthy enough?"

"Anyone who would tempt him would have to have a lab at least equal to ours to unlock the potential. That leaves our sponsor or whoever's sponsoring her, and they won't know what we're doing. Besides, he's got a scientific mind. I'm sure he'll sympathize once we fill him in."

"A droid scientist," said Sharon, "Next you're going to tell me about a Hutt hula dancer."

"Ha ha. I don't hear you two making suggestions. Do you prefer we use a human smuggler and risk contamination should the going get rough?"

Wiley looked up from his computer screen, "What did you say your name was? Jarodnyk? Standard spelling on that?"

"Ha ha," said Sharon.

"Will you comedian rejects stop clowning and get serious?!?" shouted Boltarh.

"This is serious," countered Wiley, "I've looked at the renegade and missing droids database and I don't recall seeing anything that matched that name or his description on there. I'm checking again just to be sure."

Jarodnyk was getting irritated now, "I'm not up there because I'm not a droid. I'm not even from here. I'm from Robia, which nobody here has ever heard of, and I'm the first of my kind to leave the planet!"

"Whew," Sharon sighed, "For a minute there I was worried that a bunch of scruffy mercenaries had a technology that we couldn't even touch."

"You don't have any ID or registrations at all?" asked Wiley.

Jarodnyk briefly clutched his pendant bearing the Lifemaker's seal of protection, then shrugged his shoulders.

"And yet he got himself a ship," said Boltarh, "See, I told you it was a front."

"You don't legally exist," said Wiley, "and are therefore untraceable. This could turn out better than I thought."

"So, shall we bring him in?" asked Boltarh.



First Sharon then Wiley nodded. "This is as good as it's going to get," he added.

Jarodnyk folded his silver-gray arms. He was growing impatient wondering what all the grilling was for. Boltarh checked behind Jarodnyk to see if the door was properly shut. He offered the Taloid a stool. Jarodnyk sat down, untensing somewhat.

"There has been an awful lot of conflict in this region lately. You must be learning what the consequences of this are. Scientists whose work does not have military or strategic relevance go begging for grants. There's more talent and more good work to do out there than available resources, so you can understand why three top-notch but underemployed biologists jumped at such a lucrative offer.

"Our sponsor is a wealthy woman, widowed fairly young but old enough to be a fading flower in high society. She brought us to this state-of-the-art lab and introduced us to a substance rumored to repair telomeres and other genetic damage without causing tumors and cancer. We were synthesizing and studying the substance, experimenting with viral and bacterial proteins so that nearly every cell in the body is infiltrated without causing disease or a massive immune response, and the substance is delivered to the cells' nuclei.

"In the course of our research, we discovered the substance might have the opposite effect as well. If a certain immune response is triggered, a metabolite of the substance could speed up aging by a factor of 10 to 20. Since it affects all the cells in the body, including the germ cells, any offspring produced by infected parents would be infected too. The kids would have arthritis before they got out of diapers. Nasty way to off a race, if you ask me.

"We didn't mention this in our reports to our sponsor, yet, as the research progressed, her directions became more and more pointed, a little too specific for a nonscientist. We began to see that her requests were starting to lead us more toward the destructive end. Maybe she suspected that other application too. Wiley decided to investigate her."

"In retrospect, I should've checked her out beforehand, but we all had rose-colored glasses on," said Wiley as he leaned over his computer console, "It's not like information on a network can be hidden from me. Anyway, our sponsor is more than a hag looking for eternal youth. She said she was a widow. Near as I can tell, she was never married. We knew she had a bankroll, but she has a hell of a lot more resources than she told any of us about."

"We suspect she's a front," Boltarh continued, "for some other interest. Until we know what that other interest is, we cannot trust her with our actual results."

"She must know she can only push us so far without us catching on," added Sharon, "Who knows what plans she has for our work once it's out of our hands? These weapons specialists, they get so gung-ho and overconfident, they will not appreciate the import of releasing this stuff into the environment, into actual living hosts. Once it's out, we can no longer control it. Viral proteins can exchange RNA fragments, and bacteria can exchange genes as well. The consequences are unpredictable."

"What we want you to do is take our actual research notes and supplies of the substance to my brother on Dantooine," Boltarh continued, "He's a professor at the premier agricultural/technical university there and will know how to keep this stuff safe and protected. I have a good friend in hydroponics, and he'll get you a legit cargo for cover. If anyone asks why he picked you, he'll say it's because of your dirt cheap rates, but that's not what we'll be paying you. In the meantime, we'll cook up some disappointing results and try to discourage her. Hopefully, she, and whoever's behind her, will buy it, nobody'll come after you, and we can bring this all to a graceful stop. What do you say, Jarodnyk? You game?"

Jarodnyk curled his index finger under his chin, brushing against his sensitive recharge port. His red eyes twinkled briefly, then he nodded, "Yeah, I'm game."



Wiley and Boltarh's friend Tanner worked on loading the cover cargo into the Carthogia's Pride while Sharon, Boltarh and Jarodnyk devoted themselves to stashing the research records and samples of the bioactive substance.

The research records were all encrypted and the key code translated into Taloid. This datapad was stashed in the place of the datapad containing the Taloid translation of the key codes for his ship. Jarodnyk had the key codes for his ship memorized, so the datapad containing it was hidden behind a sensor access panel in an empty cargo hold. If any intruders were fortunate enough to find the research encryption key code datapad, Jarodnyk's excuse was to be that that code key was the old one used on his ship before he changed it.

The research records themselves were placed in a secret alcove off an electronics access crawlspace. EMF insulation was stuffed in behind it. Jarodnyk himself could barely fit into the crawlspace and it definitely wasn't a pleasant place to be when the ship was operating.

In a fit of devilish inspiration, Boltarh packed the substance itself down the ship's head, which Jarodnyk didn't use, and left a few issues of Manufacturing Today and Modern Machinery magazines in a loose stack on the floor nearby for effect.

The three scientists fronted Jarodnyk 10,000 credits for expenses and a down payment. They also paid for his ship's refueling and pre-flight tune-up. Upon delivery of the classified materials to Boltarh's brother, another 50,000 credits would be transferred to Jarodnyk.

While the refueling and tune-up were occurring the five of them went for a little shopping. Sharon insisted on dragging Jarodnyk into the mens' clothing department. On Boltarh's whispered advice, he did not resist. Some women, Boltarh said, like nothing more than to dress the men around them, like giant fashion dolls.

"You look like you're wearing a dress," she said, "and drag is so outre."

Sharon flawlessly selected the right size for the solidly-built Taloid and got him two outfits. The first was a simple hooded long-sleeved black jumpsuit with black boots for those "dangerous night missions". The second was a similar blue-grey jumpsuit with no hood. Grey boots, a loose red vest, a red loincloth, and a red scarf with a headband to secure it completed the outfit. Even though Jarodnyk refused to take off his amulet, he was still shocked at how un-Taloid he looked in the new clothes. After he changed back into his original tunic he persuaded Boltarh to get him a supply of ceramic platelets and some weaving wire so he could make a backup native Taloid outfit while in hyperspace. He didn't mention his culture shock. Instead he touted the armor and insulation traditional Taloid clothing provided.

After placing his new threads in the closet of his crew quarters, he said his goodbyes to Boltarh, Sharon, Wiley, and Tanner and radioed for departure clearance. Into the inky black silence of space he went, the coordinates for his first jump locked in.



Jarodnyk had an active mind and liked to keep busy. While streaks of light flew by outside the Taloid rested his bare silver feet on the console and studied the swoop bike technical manual for the insights he could use in building a flight pack for himself.

Before he had tried lying in his hammock and reading an issue of Manufacturing Today Boltarh had placed near his pillow. He was prepared for the homesickness he felt, but he started getting turned on as his mind drifted to imagining female Taloids tending that factory machinery.

The Carthogia's Pride dropped out of hyperspace to maneuver very wide around a turbulent dust cloud on its way to the next jump point. Jarodnyk marvelled at the hazy, multi-colored glow on his viewscreen. He listened for traffic on his ship's com and his internal radio and was surprised by the quietude.

"Either this is a slow period for shipping or Dantooine is a real backwater," Jarodnyk thought, "because I seem to be the only one out here."

He double-checked the coordinates even though, as far as being lost goes, he had already broken all records as to render anything additional meaningless. The computer confirmed this was an active shipping lane. Where, then, was the other shipping? Jarodnyk figured he was alone and had to put up with it. A half-hour later he discovered how wrong he was.

Five ships were speeding toward him from the direction of the dust cloud. Alarms sounded as the sensors registered weapons activating. Since there was no one else out here to be gunning for, Jarodnyk put the pedal to the metal and powered his shield.

"We are the Zpyder Pirates. Don't bother running. You're only wasting fuel."

"Eat my ions," Jarodnyk said, even though his transmitter was off. He then peeled away in a sharp arc trying to shake the five ships off his tail.



It wasn't working. The four smaller ships, which from his DSM training he knew were Z-95s, were gaining on him. The larger ship, which he guessed was a Galaxy ZH-25 freighter, was more than pacing him.

"Cut your engines," came a transmission from one of the Z-95s, "Or suffer the consequences."

Jarodnyk did not reply, continuing to try desperate maneuvers.

Two warning shots came across his bow, one from each side. The Taloid briefly considered powering his weapons, but five-on-one wasn't exactly a fair fight, especially given his experience. He cut his engines. The pirates wouldn't be interested in his legitimate cargo, and if they were incredibly lucky or skilled enough to find some of his contraband, they probably wouldn't even know what it was.

"Prepare to be boarded!"

He was surrounded by the Z-95s and the large ship was fast approaching. Jarodnyk turned the life support on, set his blaster off to the side just out of his reach, and holstered his lance and battlestaff. When he heard the docking clamps engage he stood by the captain's chair, leaning against the console, folding his arms.

Four males entered, two Humans, a Wookie, and a Barabel. Their leader was a heavy-set, bearded, black-haired guy with a ruddy complexion, a glowing red artificial left eye, and a weblike tattoo on the right side of his face. The second Human was slightly taller and darker, lean with rippling muscles and a matching tattoo. All were carrying heavy assault rifles and stepped slowly onto the bridge, looking both ways warily.

The leader pointed some sort of sensor at Jarodnyk, then waved it around the ship. Then he flipped the cover back over the device.

"'E's alone," he murmured to the others, "OK, droid. What you got fer us?"

"Nothing you'd be interested in. No precious metals, no guns, no drugs, no embargoed technology, no stolen valuables."

"I didn't ask you what you weren't carrying, I asked you what you were!" he pointed the rifle directly at Jarodnyk's chest and tightened his finger around the trigger.

"Just some hybrid seeds for food and herb crops. No use to you unless you're farmers." Jarodnyk did not allow himself to react to the weapon pointed at him.

"Do we look like farmers?!?" the head pirate roared, touching the muzzle of the rifle to Jarodnyk's chin before backing down, "Llar, search the ship."

The Barabel took out another sensor and left the bridge.

"Something doesn't add up here. A load of seeds, this ship, which is practically obsolete...and you, alone," the pirate stepped a pace or two off to one side, then stepped back, "If a model like you got out in mass numbers, it could undercut the slave trade. This doesn't make sense."

Jarodnyk could almost hear the gears turning in the pirate's head. The Barabel stuck his head in and said, "All I found were the seeds. The drug scenter came up with nothing."

"Gimme that!" the pirate grabbed the drug scenter, "Look again," he barked, "Look harder this time."

The pirate activated the drug scenter, waved it briefly at Jarodnyk, then swept the bridge with it, coming up with nothing.

"Droids are usually lousy liars," he said to his two counterparts, "but if this one is as sophisticated as I think...He's hiding something from me...I can feel it."

Then, turning back to face Jarodnyk, "Don't bother hiding stuff from me. We know all the places."

"I'm telling you honestly. I have nothing of value to you," Jarodnyk said calmly.

"Hmph. Desjon, start scouring the bridge. If it turns out that the seeds are the only cargo, we'll take him," the pirate captain pointed a thumb at Jarodnyk, "There'll be someone out there who's trying to assemble an army fast and can maybe find out how he works."

The Taloid seethed inside. All that learning, all that effort, all that progress, and here he was right back where he started. He prayed to the Lifemaker to cradle his anger, grant him an opportunity, and guide his strike. Jarodnyk's energy rose and his anxiety dissipated. And he waited.



One of the electrical cabinets Jarodnyk had worked in at the rear of the bridge wasn't properly closed, and this immediately became a target for the Human Desjon. It wasn't the cabinet where the records were stashed but he wouldn't stop there. Jarodnyk was momentarily concerned about the little modifications he left half-completed as Desjon crouched behind the pirate captain and leaned all the way into the cabinet.

Then the Taloid thought he felt the Lifemaker's touch within him. He thought harder and inspiration finally struck him. Jarodnyk rushed forward, shoving the pirate leader into Desjon and Desjon into the electrical contacts. Sparks flew and strong current flowed. Jarodnyk's inner circuitry and the insulating effect of his rubber sandals allowed him to accommodate the charge and remain standing. He stepped back, letting their own weight drop them away from the contacts. He was promptly grabbed on the face by the Wookie and thrown onto the console like an unwanted toy.

Jarodnyk's legs flew up in the air and his sandals took off in two different directions. The howling alien had a height, reach, and probably weight advantage, but the Taloid had taken on bigger opponents before and knew how to compensate. As he slid slightly down the console, he gripped the edges tightly and drove his feet into the charging Wookie's chest like twin battering rams, knocking him across the cockpit.

Another sound had caught his attention. The graceful mechanical dropped to his feet. The Barabel had heard the commotion and was coming to investigate. Jarodnyk was ready, drawing his lance and hurling it into Llar's right shoulder. The Barabel's weapon dropped from his hand as he screamed in pain.

Out of the corner of his eye the Taloid could see the furious Wookie had gotten up and was preparing to grab him in a bear hug. Jarodnyk's battlestaff was out in an instant as he stepped away that critical pace. Once he was clear of the Wookie's grasping hands and sharp claws, he pulled back the sheath on one end of his staff and swung at the Wookie's head. The corrosive substance peeled off a stripe of fur and skin from the Wookie's jawline all the way to his nose. The alien growled in pain and brought his hands up as blood started to flow.

Jarodnyk took the opportunity to jab him in the stomach with the other end of his staff and then whacked him on the other side of his head with it. The Taloid grabbed the stunned Wookie by a clump of chest fur and flung him into the electrical closet where he, too, was knocked unconscious by the power surge.



Llar was gasping, and reaching for his blaster with his left arm. He had slowly and awkwardly rolled onto his side, Jarodnyk's lance still sticking out of his shoulder, and was close to getting his weapon. Then the Taloid stepped on his wrist. With his other foot, he kicked Llar's weapon away. Jarodnyk gripped his lance tightly and worked it out, drawing fresh blood and leaving the Barabel screaming in agony. He wiped the point clean on Llar's pant leg and re-holstered the lance. Then Jarodnyk picked up his own blaster. Setting it to the lowest power level, he fired on Llar's shoulder, cauterizing the wound. That was immediately followed by a higher-powered shot to his body which stunned him. The Taloid then gathered and stashed the Zpyder Pirate weapons.

Jarodnyk walked back to the lead pirate and pulled him clear of Desjon and the Wookie. The Taloid tapped the pirate on the cheeks with his cool hand, trying to revive him.

The captain opened his eyes at last. Jarodnyk gripped his blaster tightly and kept just outside the pirate's reach.

"I tried to tell you I'm hauling nothing of value to you but it seems the only language you understand is violence. Fortunately, I am quite fluent in that as well. I don't have the time to deal with you properly, so I suggest you call this a wash and we'll pretend this never happened."

"You took our weapons," the pirate snarled.

"You messed up my ship," Jarodnyk gestured at the splattered Barabel blood and clumps of Wookie fur, "You're lucky I'm letting you go instead of shoving you out an airlock, so let's cut our losses here. Your personnel will leave. Your ship will undock. I will proceed with you to my next hyperspace jump point. Only one of your small ships with one crewman can follow. Once I am there, I will release you to that ship and we will part ways."

The pirate captain's eyes narrowed. He hated unanswered questions, but the strange droid had earned his respect. He also could not help but appreciate Jarodnyk's honor and trust in releasing them alive instead of frying them when he could.

After they were gone and Jarodnyk was safely in hyperspace, he set to cleaning up his ship. The Wookie fur and Barabel blood was quickly mopped up. The repairs to the electrical closet took a little longer as he had to do multiple reconnections and breaker resets. He finished with a quick inspection of the rest of the ship to check if anything else was stolen, damaged, or tampered with. A glance inside his main cargo hold made Jarodnyk smile inwardly. Llar couldn't shake his suspicion of the Taloid and had slashed open one of the seed bags to remove a sample.


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