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NYMPHOMANIAC

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***

A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and
notices the most beautiful woman he has ever seen boarding the plane.
He is so nervous, and he soon realizes that she is walking down the
aisle toward him.

When she takes the seat right next to him, he is anxious to begin a
conversation with her. He asks, "Where are you flying to today?"  She
responds, "To the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago."  He is
CRAZED with excitement!  Here is a gorgeous woman sitting next to him,
and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!!!!

"And what do you do at this meeting?" he asks.  "Well," she says, "we
try to dissolve some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"And what myths are those?" he goes on desperately.

She proceeds to explain: "Well, one popular myth is that African
American men are the most endowed, when in fact, it is the Native
American man who owns this trait. Also, it is widely believed that the
Frenchman is the best lover, when actually it is men of Jewish descent
who make the best lovers."

"Very interesting....." the man responds.

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry,"
she says, "I just feel so awkward discussing this with you when I
don't even know you! What is your name?"

The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto....Tonto Goldstein.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

hehehe....

okay, how about this one....

*SUCCESS*

Jack was walking around when he noticed a ladder that went up into the
clouds. After climbing to the first cloud he met a stinky, unattractive
woman who said, "Have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."

Jack chose to climb the ladder.

At the next cloud he met a slightly better looking woman who said "Have
sex with me or climb the ladder to success." Figuring it only gets
better, Jack chose to climb the ladder some more.

At the next cloud, he met a very attractive woman who said, "Have sex
with me or climb the ladder to success." Things were getting better the
higher he got, so Jack chose to climb the ladder even more.

At the fourth cloud, he met the most gorgeous woman to ever grace the
universe. She looked at him seductively and begged, "Have sex with me or
climb the ladder to success." Jack was extremely tempted to satisfy his
urges but still, he climbed that ladder to success.

At the fifth cloud, Jack was startled when a greasy, 500lb. naked man
with a pimply penis grabbed him. Jack asked, "Who are you?"

To which he replied, "I'm Cess".

bACK TO jOKE....

*