Drunk

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An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking.  The bartender finally
says that the bar is closed.  So he stands up to leave and falls flat on
his face.  He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and
maybe that will sober him up.  Once outside he stands up and falls flat
on his face.  So he crawls home  and at the door stands up and falls
flat on his face.  He crawls through the door and up the stairs.

When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he
falls right into bed. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing
over him shouting at him, "So, you've been out drinking again!!" 

"How did you know?" he asks.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again

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zNz

hehehehe...

so try not to smile with this one...

YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction
site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian
guy, Your're in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You're in charge
of shoveling", and to the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of
supplies. Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to
make a dent in that pile."

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the
pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep
any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese guy
was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't find him."

So then the foreman turn to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.

The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get myself a shovel.  You left the
Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn't find him."

The foreman is really ticked off now, and storms off toward the pile of
sand looking for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from a closet and yells:

"SUPPLIES!"

:o)

.