************
Saturday
February 27
1999
I do believe, that one day, my two mutts will cause me grief. We are walking in the park, and it is a bright sun shiny day, with the sun a ball of fire hanging in a robin egg blue sky, blasting its brilliant rays on to the dazzling snow.
It made you squint your eyes when you come from indoors. But it is warm, five degrees above freezing.
The giant leafless trees look like they have been uprooted, and replanted upside down, so now the roots reach for the sky.
Cujo, my eleven month old puppy, tilts the scales at ninety pounds even. Garry, five pounds lighter, is chained together with Cujo by a short chain at their collar. They run together side by side, separated by this one foot of chain.
One hundred and seventy-five pounds on eight legs, exactly my weight, running, side by .
It is a day of promise, for the snow is melting everywhere, and forming huge puddles of slushy wet stuff.
Here and there a squirrel, has woken from his winter dormant period, and gone hunting for his stored Fall treasures.
It would be a warm record breaking day, except there was a day in 1876, which was warmer.
I am walking on the earth, but my mind is completely somewhere else.
It is the concept of freedom that is SO apparent. We are so free to come and go, without fears of torture, or false imprisonment, and all those horrible things. Can you imagine living in China, where they imprison you for speaking against the government ? How about some places in South America, where soldiers can break into your house and haul a family member off never to be seen again.
Try Africa, where ethnic cleansing wipes out complete villages. Kosovos, Bosnia. What foolish people. How can one man be so inflamed about another man so as to kill the man, his Wife and his children.
Canada is a great place to live. For five years in a row, the United Nations have voted that Canada is the nicest place in the World to live. And I live right here. I was born here, my parents were born here, and no one can take me away from this land of freedom.
From Sea to shining Sea, and all along the USA border, in all of Canada, you are free to pursue happieness, any which way you choose.
Jerusalem is a beautiful city with great history, and a gorgeous climate. But it also has its terrorists launching rockets at their city center, and bombs exploding absolutely anywhere.
My friends in Jerusalem say that they get used to it. And when it happens, as horrible as it is, an exploding rocket here, or an exploding bomb there, it is just something that happens from time to time.
I tell you, let an exploding rocket land anywhere in Canada, the whole World would know about it.
Here in Canada, we NEVER see a soldier with an automatic weapon at a checkpoint. You can drive 6000 miles from one end of the country to the other, and I will guarantee that you will never find a checkpoint with soldiers anywhere.
I can't help but wonder what it might be like, to be on or near a bus when some person decides to blow everyone including himself to smithereens.
From quiet peacefulness to devastating horror. I have absolutely no idea what that must be like. I can't even imagine the abrupt suddenness. To be there, maby lost in thought, and then fragmented by flying shrapnel. I would not live there.
Garry and Cujo were running around somewhere, and as a matter of fact, they run right past me from behind, Cujo on my left, and Garry on my right.
The problem, of course, is that there is a short chain that connects them both.
I didn't feel anything, I didn't see or hear anything, except my back is slammed down to the ground and my feet are snapped forward. And in the blueness of the deep sky, I see stars everywhere.
One hundred and seventy pounds of dogs have been stopped by my knees.
I thought I was going to black out, I couldn't breathe, and I had not yet figured out what happened. Fortunately I didn't hit my head, but I had really smacked my back. Both dogs were looking at me, and probably wondering what I was doing groaning in the snow. I took short gasping breaths to stay conscious, and I propped myself up on my elbows and pulled myself together.
Well I suppose now I have an idea what it would be like to be bombed or shot. When it happens, you just don't have a clue, and it happens very fast.
Fortunately, the snow wasn't packed down hard, but it was soft and slushy. So it kind of broke my fall, and made me soaking wet.
Later on in the day, I could feel rigor mortis setting in as my back muscles stiffened up. A bruise the size of my house wrapped itself around my knees, and it is uncomfortable just breathing.
My terrorist puppies on the other hand, haven't missed a beat.
Life couldn't be better for them.
AND, actually, in spite of my little tumble, I am not complaining that much either.
So once again, I am walking down the street slowly, my shoulders hunched over in pain. Nothing I can't handle, of course, and in a few days it will be all but gone. Well, not longer than a week or two.
I have this feeling, that one day I will not get up from these little events, as spryly as I have been.
One thing for sure.
I should know in a couple of months or so.
Because it seems to happen, every couple of months.
We have exhausted all the small choices, the next act will be something like them dragging me under the wheels of a cement truck.
And so it goes.
VNVNVNVN V NVNVNVNV
JKJKJKJKJKJKJ
Ash Wednesday
February 17
1999
I can't believe how quickly time can flee by me. We are in the final days of the teenage years. No more sixteen, seventeen, eighteen or nineteen hundred and anything. In just ten and a half months, it is two thousand.
First there was the year one thousand, about a thousand years ago, then it will be two thousand, then three thousand, and so on. There will be no more teen hundreds and anything. The teenage years are almost done. Just ten and a half more months, and the teens are over. It is time for Civilization to grow up.
Throughout history, we have gone through so many different ages. From the birth of civilization around 600 BC in which the Greeks set the stage, right through the Dark Ages, the Industrial Revolution, and beyond to today. What will these days today be known as ?
Probably the Foolish Age. We have SO much information, and yet, in the face of evidence, we act so foolishly. Did you see any of the Impeachment Trial of President Clinton ? They opened the proceeding with a Chaplain saying a prayer. They legislated against prayer themselves. It is against the Law to say the Lord's Prayer in public schools, (and in public buildings).
And yet they themselves pray at the start of this historical trial. Is the Senate not the most public of houses ?
All through the trial, they mentioned God, and argued points for "God's sake." And all the while, a Supreme Court number one judge with Opera stripes stood by, and never said a word.
They tried Clinton for lying under oath, and then took an oath themselves and promised to vote only on their conscience. They each took an oath that they would not be swayed by party affiliation.
Not one of the Democrats found him guilty of any offence. And all the republicans except ten found him guilty of all charges.
Can any sensible person agree that the two parties voted by their conscience and not by party affiliation ? I think not.
They ALL should be held in contempt of court, and tried in a court of Law for lying under oath themselves.
Aren't you just sick and tired of listening to the so called wisest men in the land lying to our faces like that ? It is bad enough that they lie to themselves, but to jam it down our throats, so as to somehow make it more real, it is SO disgusting. How is it that they can get away with lying to us like that ?
Well I am sick and tired of it all.
Politicians are a pack of hypocritical liars and that is that. Period.
It has got to stop. But we know it will not. They will just keep on lying, and lying and
lying over and over again.
Now Clinton is going to be hauled before the Civil courts again. for when he lied to the Paula Jones court and testified that he did not have any sexual contact with Monica Lewinsky.
The Judge at that trial regrets throwing out the Paula Jones case, because the President testified that he, "did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky."
I myself, have close and personal friends who tell me that oral sex isn't sex.
What a laugh that is.
I was at a businessmen's banquet a week or so ago where some of the gentlemen got drunk and performed oral sex on three dancing girls. Now there is no way on God's green earth that it looked like they were NOT having sex.
Could any of those men say they were not having a sexual relationship with those women ? Well they could say it, but it wouldn't change anything. They were indeed, without a question of a doubt, they were having a sexual relationship. A foolish sexual relationship to boot.
Some people can claim to be virgins and still have only oral sex. But they can not say that they haven't had any sexual contact.
Well they can say anything they want, but the fact is that they HAVE had sexual conduct. It is kissing, sexual contact.
Location, location, location. Of course some kissing could not be not called sexual contact, but ANY kissing between the waist and the knees IS sexual.
(All other areas depend on the frame of mind of the 'kissor' and the 'kissee'.)
Once upon a time, about ten years or so ago, I was a very celibate spiritual person. I lived in Monasteries and Temples, slept on hardwood floors in Ashrams, and uttered mantras by the thousands, every single day.
When the time came for me to come back to the World, I was a very strong spiritual person, dedicated to the aquisition of enlightenment. If anything could tempt me from my chosen path, it would have to be a mighty strong temptation.
On my wrists and ankles I wore leather laces, tied in a knot, which I never removed. They were there to remind me of the bondage in which we are kept, bondage that keeps us from really being free.
We are prisoners of our own lusts and desires, and you know what they say about that. "It is most difficult to hear our inner voices, over the blaring trumpets of Desire."
So these leather ties reminded me of that every single day. Anb by abstaining from carnal pleasures, I could make out some of the faint murmmerings from deep within.
Then I re-entered the World of every day hum drum Life.
It was ten years ago, but I remember the time as if it was just yesterday. I had met this very charming young Lady and we were having a lunch together.
It was a typical sunny Winnipeg summer afternoon, and she wore a short pleated skirt with knee high socks and a loose fitting blouse.
A bottle of white wine later we were both in a very happy mood. We laughed and joked and at one point she was laughing so hard she grabbed my hand.
She drew my hand close to her face, and kissed it lightly.
She had the sexiest mouth, full lips that caressed every word she uttered.
By the end of the second bottle, she did that more frequently, and she even kissed my hand when we weren't laughing so much.
She asked why my wrists were bound in leather, and I told her about what they reminded me every day of, and that I wore them on my ankles as well.
She kissed the palm of my hand and tickled me with her tongue. Smiling wickedly, nibbling on the leather, she untied the knot with her teeth. First one knot, and then the other. Unbuttoning my shirt she found a lot of places for her soft kisses.
We were on the couch, and she slid down to my ankles and kissed my feet, and she untied those leather ties, again with her teeth. Then she unbuttoned my trousers and kissed me everywhere. (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep) My mind was delirious and the cosmos exploded.
When I came to, she was still softly kissing me. We had had sex and she hadn't taken off a stitch of her own clothing.
Now if I was Bill Clinton, could I honestly look you in the eye, and swear that "I did not have sexual relations with that girl" ?
Well that is exactly what he did.
And he wagged his finger at us as he did it.
That is what could righteously be called, 'a bold faced lie'.
Yet every single one of those Democratic senators said there wasn't enough evidence to say that he lied. And every Republican Senator, said that he did indeed, lie.
Every Republican said he did lie, and every Democrat said he did not lie. And ALL of them took an oath that they would not be swayed by party lines.
They are ALL saying that the only ruler of their decision was their conscience, and party affiliation would play absolutely no part in their decision. They took a most solemn oath and swore that they would not be swayed by party affiliation. Yet every one of them voted on party lines.
If they are not lying to themselves, they certainly are lying to us.
To this very moment, of this very day they continue to lie to us and swear that that is exactly what happened. They voted by their conscience, and not by their party line affiliate. That is exactly what they say. And it is a total lie.
They are fools for thinking that we are fools and foolish enough to believe them.
We ARE fools, for letting them get away with it.
That's why they will call it the 'foolish years'.
Now that Paula Jones Judge is going to take Bill Clinton to task. She is pissed because he lied in her court.
So here we go again.
But there will be no Senators this time.
Clinton might have yet another 'outcome', one that the wisest liars in the land couldn't come up with.
You know when I was a kid, people used to tell me about George Washington, lying about chopping down a cherry tree. Now the story is about President Clinton lying about having oral sex in the Oval Office.
Times are a-changing.
JJJJJJJJJJJJ
Wednesday
February 6
1999
free space........
Last year I lost my ninety-nine year old Grandmother, two young puppies, my favorite Uncle, the one I was named after, and in the final months of the year I lost my beloved computer.
This year I thought all the losing was taken care of. Nothing but 'winning' for this year.
Time to get it together, so as to speak. So I easily fell into the caverns of my cyber World. You can go as far and as fast as you want, in the computer World.
After two years of honing a collection of computer tools that could work miracles on a monitor, I was preparing to pull off a few miracles.
But my computer belched one mighty burp and expired in front of my eyes. It's last prompt was about not having enough memory to shut itself down.
My computer looked at me with hopeless eyes, the screen frozen in silence.
Two years of computer surfing, petrified before me. Nothing.
Not one tiny thing could I retrieve from my magical World.
Those nice people I just hadn't got back to, and who I was going to write to, but was too busy to, all the people on that other keyboard somewhere in the World, everyone, and everything was gone.
A single compact disk would restore my computer to the state it was when I bought it two years earlier. All the programs it originally had would be there, but not a stitch of memory.
I sat there in a moment of thoughtful silence, solemly slipped the disk in the tower tray, and shut the power off.
Then I 'powered on'..
I answered a few prompts that wanted to be sure that I knew what I was doing and the deed was all but done.
an hour later, it was like turning back the hands of time. almost as if that whole past cyber World never existed at all. and I was starting over again.
The first prompt was about starting my computer for the first time. Interesting enough, the only remnant of Life before the CD went in was the time itself. The clock was the only thing that survived.
My mailbox, ... well you know the story. nothing but an empty mailbox. The whole computer was like a new house with no furniture. Each room was empty, and you could almost hear the echo.
I did not want to back up my files or programs.
when the time came for them to go, they would go.
It is like being re born, and starting over again.
except I know a little more now.
I had never even touched a computer before two years ago.
it's kinda like computer reincarnation,
I come back in another Life time, and start all over, only this time, I am more enlightened.
In a way, it was kind of a good thing.
For starters, I have 986 MB of free space to play with.
and this time, I will be more careful, with what I put in that free space. It really IS amazing how much space I would use up with duplicate files, and remnants of discarded or unused programs. Every day I look to see how much free space I have left, and every day there is less.
Now almost every computer move I make, is calculated, and purposeful.
Still, I see that the mega bytes are quickly dwindling again.
After getting a few programs like WinZip installed, I am ready to go again, I see that I have only 832 MB of free space.
and so it goes....
:o)
.
*************
Friday, January 29, 1999
Be still my pounding head.
I went to a business men's banquet last night.
lotsa fat
guys dressed in fancy suits, smoking cigars and laughing loudly.
Diamond rings seem to go well with big bellies.
you would certainly get the impression that we are in good times judging from the size of some of those bellies. One guy there looked like he was about to deliver twins.
it was like a room full of all sized Danny DeVitos.
Because it was just men, and no women, I was somewhat surprised when three women came in and walked around looking almost business like.
My friend Terry went over and talked with one of them .
A few minutes later the girl was topless and she came over to me and did a lap=dance on my lap.
I didn't think that was so funny actually, and I wasn't much more impressed when she took off all her clothes and gave me a lap- dance.
I almost broke my neck turning my head away from her breasts in my face.
Some of the boys however, got right into it however, and I mean 'right' into it. Two of the girls were flat on their back on different tables pressing guys heads into their crotch. Guys were standing around hooting and cheering, and waiting their turn.
For sure most of them would no doubt regret it the next day as well as the rest of their lives.
it is not my style no matter how much wine I have had. I just shook my head and smiled at their foolishness.
But I still had a great time, and was home in bed before the sun came up.
Interesting enough, the banquet was put on by the Shriners. It truly is amazing what they can do and get away with it. Most people would end up in a jail cell for that kind of behavioral display.
ho hum...... . .
{ { { { { {
Wednesday January 20,1999
Where has this week gone, not that it's gone, but it's Wednesday, and Wednesday is all but over.
I listened to the State of the Union speech by Bill Clinton on Monday night. I keep half expecting Monica to be at his feet. It's amazing, what power is. There is the President of the United States, a World leader, addressing a group of the most powerful people in the World. Everyone was smiling and applauding. Well not everyone. Actually some were not even there. In any case, the simple fact of the matter is that the United States has not experienced such prosperity since before World War ll. The budget is not only balanced but they have a surplus for the first time in three decades. The air is cleaner, more people are working and they have the strongest economy in the World.
And STILL they want to throw him out of office. Ya gotta laugh at that. I tell you I could handle a few lies if it made me richer. I would rather be rich and happy than poor and unhealthy I always say. So if I got to listen to a few lies, I am willing to make concessions. The truth of the matter is absolutely every single person on the face of this planet lies...
You lie, I lie, everyone, the guy next to you, the person who lives accross the street, your neighbor to the left, and to the right, the guy at the corner store, the policeman with the gun, everyone, all of them and us lie. And not just once in our lives either.
So they ask a married man to make a public statement about an adulterous affair, what do you expect him to do. And I know all about the lying under oath etc. Need I mention all about the clean air we breathe, the surplus in the budget, and the strongest economy in the World.
No Clinton didn't make it happen all by himself, I understand all that, but he got a group of people together who did. And it is the first time in a very long time that any group has been able to pull the bunny out of the hat like this group has. Bill Clinton is the head of this group. He deserves recognition, not castigation.
By the way, not only did those groups in the past not only fail, but every year the looked us square in the eye, lied to us and promised us that they would NOT fail.
Clinton looked us in the eye and lied alright, but it wasn't about how he would run the country, it was about some groping in a hallway, with an enthusiastic little Lady who was doing what she could for her country.
Everyone says that the Oval Office is not where you are supposed to have sex. At least that is the way it used to be. Well I think this World can use a little more Loving no matter how you get it. If the President can fight a War with Iraq, travel the World, and bring peace to the middle East, while all the time American Justice is breathing fire down his butt, then a little frisky entertainment in the afternoon isn't going to derail him.
Ken Starr and the Justice System are trying to throw him in jail, and certainly out of office. All the time they are doing this, Bill Clinton is making speeches in China, settling deals between the Palistinians and the Israelis, and running the country. I really don't think that a little session with some enthusiastic Miss every once in a while is going to distract him from running the country.
Better still, maybe they should get some of that happening in those hallways on a regular basis. It's not for everyone of course, just for those who might delight in a little starburst sprinkled in their very serious Life.
Actually the question is, why are these wise Congressmen pursuing a goal which they can not possibly obtain. They can't possibly throw this guy out of office. Everyone knows about the clean air, and the jobs, and the surplus, and all the good things Clinton has brought about.
Politicians lie all the time. The Army lies all the time. They lied about Agent Orange in Viet Nam, about chemicals in the Gulf War. The Air Force Lies about UFOs and secret tests, the Navy lies about gay sailors, and the Church lies about perverted priests. Everyone Lies. It is a way of Life.
To single out one man on one occaision, and say that this one lie is worth ALL the problems they are bringing down on themselves, is very close to insane. There are VERY serious problems that need to be attended to.
Little children are naked in the streets.
People are being raped, robbed and murdered out there.
Tend to these things, and all the 'other' things.
Let Clinton do what he has to do.
And let him take whatever 'liberties' he so choses.
He is there to run the gountry.
Get out of his private Life.
Before he goes away,
and we will have what we had before
he arrived.
Think about it.
Listen, this is what it all adds up to be.
When you push the total button,
This is what you get.
A smaller injustice is allowable when a greater injustice is prevented.
The injustice of listening to Clinton's denials, is far more allowable, than allowing the injustice of us breathing bad air looking for a job, because we can't make our monthly payments.
So get a grip of your butt,
and give yourself a shake.
Leave the guy ALONE.
Let him finish 'whatever' he was doing.
We will have one of those snotty lying 'other' guys in less than two years.
THEN we can get back to breathing our polluted air, while we are looking for a job, because we can't make our payments.
THEN we will not be having the time nor the $44,000,000 to be checking on what the president is, or is not doing in the hallways of the Oral Office.
I mean, Oval Office.
TtTtTtTtTtTtT.
*************************
Sunday, January 17, 1999
Well my beloved computer came back to me yesterday after being gone for three months.
It is unbelievable that some falling branch three months ago would have such an effect on my Life.
But it fell across a power line, and sent a surge of electricity throughout the neighborhood.
and that power line was connected right to the heart of my computet.
it was over before it started.
two TVs were lost right there and then as well.
Computers occupy a growing significant amount of the World's time. It is hard not to believe that we really will be the servants, and the computers will tap the capabilities of mankind, and become the most dominant force of the Universe.
It is not that we will implant miniaturized computers in our brains, but more that we will implant ourselves in a big computer, and be the biological element of a new intelligence. We will slip into a computer suit, which will nudge our bodies and stimulate us in a way which we personally program them to do. You get into your suit and I'll get into mine, and hand in hand we'll trip out to the cyber world.
We are SO archaic, watching TVs when soon we will dwell in them. Of course that's jumping ahead a few a bit.
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?????????????
P