The miscinfo page | Spookware (cg2) index
- By T.O.G.
I heard about these aliens and gnomes from a guy on the bus on the way home from school after telling him about my finding a big brown fuzzy alien in my bed with me one morning. I thought it would be good to inform everyone about these people, who they are, what they do, and how to get rid of them. I want to thank Billy for providing me with this information, as well as CHUMPS for letting me post this on his website.
Big Fuzzy green aliens are mean. They shoot spitballs in your eyes. They'll try to eat your brain. The only way to prevent them from doing this is to wer a plastic basket over your head and wear safety goggles. That'll keep 'em away.
Big Fuzzy brown aliens are nice people in general. They won't eat your brain, they won't shoot spitballs in your eyes, and they're fun to sleep with. Don't worry if you find a big fuzzy brown alien in your bed sometime; just cuddle up with him like he's your dog.
Little blue aliens suck your blood. I don't know anything else about them. My niece told me this.
Green slimy little slug-like aliens will get into your ears if you listen to too much rap music. If they stay in there for too long (anywhere from 1-3 months, I think), they could make you deaf. To get rid of them, listen to lots of heavy metal.
White slug-like aliens will get into your ears if you listen to lots of techno. They're not usually bad, though. They'll play drums while you're trying to sleep, which may or may not be a bad thing. You can even get them to pay rent by swallowing a big hairy spider. That's kind of groose though, and sometimes they won't pay anyway. It's fun to have them play their drums though.
You can get rid of any slug-like alien in your ear by listening to heavy-metal.
Stomach Gnomes are nasty. I'm not sure what they do, or how you get them, but they feel funny and will sometimes make you nautious. The only way I know how to get rid of them is to swallow a big hairy spider (the same way you get white slug-like aliens to pay rent).
Concrete Gnomes... You know when your walking along barefoot on concrete and your foot gets all scraped up and you bleed all over and yucky white stuff comes out? That white stuff is lots and lots of concrete gnomes.
Tree Gnomes get into you by jumping out of trees into your hair while your walking through the woods. There are 2 varieties: brown and black. The brown ones have something good about them. I don't remember what. I'll have to axe Billy. The black ones, though, will burrow into your scalp and make a yucky mess. Get rid of them as fast as you can. These are the only kind of gnomes you can't get rid of by swallowing a big, hairy spider. You'll have to burn them off (works best for bald people).
Lawn Gnomes live in the lawn. They used to just live underground but they had to adapt to the cities to become lawn gnomes. A couple of my friends had a teacher that was a lawn gnome. They're evil.
All the gnomes I know of are bad. You can get rid of all of them except for the black tree gnome by swallowing a big hairy spider. Stomach gnomes know a trick though. Sometimes they can give the spider a pill that will cause them to try to climb back up your throat or burrow out through your belly.