Frequently Asked Questions
This is simple. From The Prestigious North Carolina School of The Arts, take a right onto MAIN STREET. Follow MAIN STREET until it intersects with ACADEMY. Take a LEFT onto ACADEMY. Follow ACADEMY, you will go up a hill, at the top of the hill is POPLAR STREET. Go on ahead and take a right, it's okay. 529 is located directly to the right of the vehicle. Don't park in the fucking driveway.
This question is best answered by "The Jake" who will tell you to "fuck off and die". Er....maybe not. Okay, if you park on Poplar...make sure that you park in the CORRECT direction. That means that your passenger side door should be facing the sidewalk.
"THERE ISN'T ANY MORE PARKING ON THE POPLAR! FUCK IT! WE'LL PARK ON ACADEMY!!!" Alright dumbass, that's fucking stupid. You'll end up with one or all of these three things. 1> A Ticket. 2>All your shit stolen. 3> No car. Park on Academy, it ain't my car. WHERE CAN YOU PARK??? Easy. Parking is available at the corner of Academy and Broad... you'll see the parking lot... and seriously it's only a minute walk. If you get a ticket... it ain't our fault.
FUCK IT! JUST FIND A PLACE AND PARK! JESUS YOUR A PAIN IN MY ASS!!!
NO. Call first. If you don't know the number, find someone who does. The only exception to this is when we have "social gatherings" (read: PARTY) then don't even bother calling.
"The Jake" is in fact human... or at least that's what the doctor's told us. "The Jake" is a machine that consumes alcohol and women like water. NEVER, EVER, EVER feed "The Jake" non-alcoholic beer. This will result in death. Your chances of spotting "The Jake"? VERY SLIM. He only emerges late at night in the cover of shadow to rape and pillage. DO NOT MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH "THE JAKE". Trust us on this.
Hmmmm. It depends. Yeah, it's pretty safe... just don't be stoppin by without calling or try to be stealin shit from the house or the cars. 529 is armed.
NO! We never break the laws that were set forth on paper by our forefathers, we are good citizens. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!! Wait.... I'm Canadian....fuck it.
If you have any other questions email 529 here.