for the funeral service 14th May 2001

Once upon a time...

It all started when a young lad from Taranaki was jacked up with a blind date for a party in Christchurch. He had been on his way working round the South Island and somehow never made it back up north.

His Father in law was firm about his daughter, that a proper home had been built for his little girl. Our heavenly father had concerns for this little house hold too, the lad and his girl made commitments to follow him, about this time. This was near the end of the baby boomer years, and nature took it's course, on the 21st of July 1956, a little girl was blessed, to make it a little family.

The lad from Taranaki was a practical man, and he thought it really good for a little daughter to be first, as she could be helpful round the home. Radio listening was a favorite for this family and Aunt Daisy was still heard, so much so that the little girl called their first transistorized portable radio, Dais, Dais, Dais

Time was gently stirred and a son were added to the mix. The little girl took great delight in having a little brother. She learned to help Mummy take care of him. Very soon there were two more to help with aswell. She took great care of them. They looked up to their older sister, but struggled to pronounce her name. Somehow it always came out Doffry, and eventually it was shortened to Doff. It was over 38 years later that she discovered, that maybe she had felt too responsible, for her 3 little brothers.

The little girl started primary school in a new suburb of Hoon Hay, in the still fairly rural south west corner of Christchurch. The little family regularly attended an outgoing little Anglican parish (St Andrews) and it was not long before she felt responsible for letting her classmates know about her Jesus. Doff & Jim attended confirmation classes, but missed the bishops visit, since the family went to Wellington to participate in a March for Jesus.

The family shifted to a place on Lincoln rd, near Addington, to make it better for Dad's little printing business (Steadfast Press). Doff attended Middleton Grange school and often could be seen biking through Annex rd. She made life long Christian contacts at Middleton and looked up to her teachers, for years later. She helped a lot around the home, as her Mum was often out of action due to illness. Doff helped Dad with boys brigade leadership, and she often helped look after the little stationary shop her Dad had for a while. Upon achieving school certificate (year 9? for all you younger generation) she dutifully left school to help with Dad's printing business. To those in the trade, she was referred to as "Miss Print" a term used when the machine fails to pickup a sheet, and several sheets later the image is printed on both sides.

Her Dad had many Uncles who were farmers in Taranaki, and had a hankering for the rural life. In the early 70s they started looking for a batch or something on the West coast. The "Or something" turned out to be a 500 acre leasehold farm.... without a batch, near a little town called Dobson. Bobby calves were the up and coming scheme for the dairy-beef industry. Doff took on the mothering of 20 to 30 calves while the family took about 6 months, and many car and trailer loads later, to shift over from Christchurch.

She took to enjoying many walks over the farm with a slasher in one hand and a packet of matches in the pocket for gorse control. The family attended the little Anglican service, which only had services twice monthly. They had regular visits from the curate, who always seemed to give plenty of farming advice. Sundays they also drove the 8km into town, and had been welcomed to the friendly baptist church, by the smiley shiny headed preacher. One Sunday morning Dad, showing his practical side again, says to Doff, there's a nice young organist for you. Kevin was hiding behind a large chorus book up the front of the church.

Doff took on nursing training at the Greymouth hospital, and took delight in learning to take care of the patients there. Kevin started early with a mortgage, his first house was a turn of the century villa, about 5 doors away from the baptist church. It was "the boys flat" for a while, with Chris and Derek as flatmates. Monday night bible studies and tea were common, and somehow there was plenty of cooking and dishes when Doff turned up. For a couple of years there, more than a friendship developed between Doff and Kev, and so Chris and Derek were eventually tossed out so the couple could start a home.

Kevin had worked his way up through one of the old Government institutions, The Post office. He applied for a position in Southland that took the couple to Gore. They rented an old farm homestead for a while till they got their own place on Elizabeth st in town. They were welcomed into the Gore Baptist church, and "parented" by Les & Molly Necklan, who had children about Doff & Kev's age.

It was not long before a wee Esther turned up. Doff was a very diligent mother and believed everything the plunket nurse told her. She was also interested in advice from the family doctor, while seeing his wife pish the lawn mower past the surgery window. A young Jonathan also turned up while the lived in Gore. Uncle Jim spent time there too, and the kids took turns at keeping every available adult busy. Doff could often be seen going for a walk down town with 2 wee ones in the big old pram.

Kevin made a break from the Post office and worked for a while selling tractor parts, but when he was made available for other work they shifted to Christchurch where Benjamin was born. As the kids grew and started to make friends and go to school, Doff had to put some boundaries on the things they did. Esther discussed it with school mates and they all decided Esther must have been adopted, as there was so little she was allowed to do. During this time the family attended Papanui Baptist, and Doff and Kev helped run some children's missions. A little later they ventured out with home made tandem push bikes. After the third ride, and the third time something fell off, Doff said she would not get on one again unless it was properly built, so they bought a 10 speed tandem. Some time later there was a surprise, little Anna arrived, and was doeted on by the big kids for about a year. Doff was much more relaxed as Anna grew up.

In 1990 the family fell in love with a big old 2 story house in Linwood. Doff and Kev's music talents were appreciated at Linwood Baptist church. One family night at church we had an evening where we had to make something to help us describe our faith, Doff made a garden. She said she helped make a place for the faith of others to grow. Doff tried a couple of years nursing again at Redcliffs rest home, where she mothered the little old ladies, and brought home stories of their wonderings. Doff found she could not manage the home garden as times got harder when the kids got to their teens. She started attending meetings for family of those with mental illness, and found out how much human frailty we have in common. Doff struggled with her own depression, as family problems seemed to pile up, in the early 90s. It was during these times that she found a faith the stands firm in hard times. She started attending St Giles and having quiet times away for recuperation, and regular talks with Alana.

The past few year things were a bit more relaxed as the kids were finding their feet. Esther at University, The boys in town and Anna at Tamariki. Doff's asma was proving to be more of a problem, and so her visits to Doctor Bill came more often, but more often than not, it was the care for others expressed as Dr Bill found out about the whole family's health.

Her passing has been quite a shock for all of us. It will take a while for others to take on some of the things Doff was doing.

Some of the things we will remember her for are,

The hours of handwork she did with sewing and cross-stitch.

Chasing the kids up to see they have done what was needed.

The sewn covers for furniture round the house.

Her help with midweek services at Linwood.

Her love of music.

Her friendship to a very wide circle of people.

and her faith that enables all of us to stand firm when things are not easy.

   
 
 
 







Dorothy Hayes

Kevin found himself a woman of virtue,
More valuable than rubies with a heart good and true,
A lady he could trust in the house and the soil,
Leaving him free for his choice of labour and toil,

She did for him good and kept him free from evil,
Storing up value from rust and from weevil,
All the days of her life she found food for the table,
She mended and sewed and worked as she was able.

Her gifts of tapastries are much loved by her friends,
Her ready smile brought bad strife to good ends,
Her interests were varied, her accomplishments many,
Her faults were few, that is if she really had any.

She was fond of making frames for her pictures,
Spinning wool and knitting to assure us of riches,
That abound in things she had made with her hands,
While checking my spelling, my buts and my ands.

She worked as a pleasure in her short times of leisure,
Even taking her knitting to "Les Misarables" for good measure,
She worked and she loved her family so much,
And she sang and she played in very fine touch.

So this was my friend Mrs Dorothy Hayes,
Who affected our lives in many different ways,
She left us to be with her saviour above,
A mother, a wife and a friend we all love.

William Alexander Smith

Written for Linwood Baptist Church Newsletter for 13th May 2001

    



    
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