A taste of culture: You've probably heard various "you might be a Redneck if..." jokes and comments. Well, where I live some of that stuff is just not funny, mainly because it's so true. This is 200 (207) question quiz.
Mark the box if the statement is true for you.
1-You have more TV stations via satellite, than you do books in your home.
2-Your satellite/cable has been disconnect due to negligent payments.
3-You've owned three or more cars since you turned 16, and you're currently 19 or under. (Note, none of these cars can be new or cost more than 2.5K.)
4-You've owned 2 or more pickup trucks within the last year.
5-You've totaled one or more cars (not necessarily your own).
6-You've totaled one or more pickups (not necessarily your own).
7-You chew tobacco.
8-You smoke tobacco.
9-You smoke marijuana.
10-You've smoked marijuana within the last year.
11-You've smoked marijuana within the last month.
12-You've been stoned within the last 72-96 hours.
(*-You are currently stoned.)
13-You drink.
14-You've had an alcoholic beverage within the last 48 hours
15-You've ever been drunk.
16-You've been drunk within the last 72-96 hours.
17-You've driven drunk within the last 72-96 hours.
18-You are currently drunk or recovering from a hangover.
19-You own a chainsaw (the chainsaw is yours, not a friend's or family member's)
20-You know how to use a chainsaw.
21-Your chainsaw (if you own one) is in the similar state as your car; ie. piece of crap.
22-You never plan to live out of the area.
23-You've gone to the same school more than 8 years.
24-You've been held back a grade.
25-You've been held back mote than one grade.
26-You consider yourself to be of average or less intelligence...
27-...Most people would agree with that.
28-You plan to go to college in the same area.
29-You don't plan to go to college.
30-You own a gun.
31-You own an old gun (ei. grandmother's, etc.)
32-You hunt. (Trapping and fishing are not the same)
33-You've hunted out of season.
34-You've hunted out of season, or attempted to hunt out of season, while drunk.
35-You own a hound.
36-You own a hunting dog.
37-You own a retarded hunting dog that is too dumb to be effective in hunting.
38-More than three dogs can be found on your property at any given time.
39-More than three dogs can be found underneath your porch at any given time.
40-You use an electroshock collar on your dogs...
41-... It has no real effect on them.
42-You've never had a romantic relationship (implied: all your relationships have been purely for physical enjoyment.)
43-You are jealous of (unmarried) people who get more sex than you do.
44-You are jealous of (unmarried) siblings who get more sex than you do.
45-The phrase "I love you" is your most frequent excuse when your significant other complains about your behavior.
46-Your longest romantic relationship has lasted 4 or less months.
47-Most dates you've gone on were courtesy of your boy/girlfriend du jour.
48-You can't manage to commit for more than 4 months.
49-Your last relationship ended because you were cheating.
50-Your last relationship ended because you were cheating with two or more people.
51-All your relationships end because you were cheating.
52-You've ever cheated on the person you're cheating with.
53-You have dumped someone via telephone.
54-You have not explained why you dumped your ex...
55-... But he/she found out anyway...
56-... From three or more sources...
57-... One of which was your new boy/girlfriend.
58-You are not a virgin.
(*-... You lost your virginity to a minor, when you were not a minor yourself.)
(*-You've ever been engaged to a minor.)
(*-You've ever tried to get a minor pregnant...)
(*-... and that was to force her parents into consenting to let you get married.)
(*-You've practiced bestilism, avec les animaux.)
59-You are a virgin because no one has apparently wanted to "go all the way" with you.
60-You have dated someone 5 or more years older/younger than you.
61-50% or more of your boy/girlfriend have had the same first name.
(*-You have ever been involved in a Sex-Scandle.)
62-Your family has had an issue with you dating someone of a higher class, but never worried about you dating someone of a lower class. (They don't have to had said this, but the idea was implied or suspected.)
63-You've had your romantic partner bring up issues of higher/lower class. (Implied: you were lower class.)
64-Your boy/girlfriend went out with you because they felt sorry for you, and wanted to give you a chance.
65-You don't have many close friends.
66-You don't have many friends, period.
(66-You've done something so heinus you no longer have any friends.)
67-You are surprised when a person starts talking to you...
68-... Mostly people initiate conversation because they feel bad for you.
69-... Or people start talking to you because they don't know you better.
70-You have friends until they get to know you better.
71-You have trouble maintaining any friendships past the 1-year mark.
72-The reason people stop being friends with you is because you treat them poorly...
73-... But it is all their fault...
74-... They always played 'mind games' or 'did you dirt'...
75-... But this is an excuse because you secretly can't admit to your own shortcomings.
76-You tell one friend about your other friends problems, and why he/she isn't really a friend...
77-... But you still insist to your other friend that he/she is your best friend.
78-You have items belonging to a friend.
79-Your friend has demanded the return of his/her property...
80-... And never got it back...
81-... Or got it back in very poor condition...
82-... So he/she demanded an explanation/payment for damages...
83-... Including threats of legal actions against you...
84-... But you didn't pay up, and ignored their requests...
85-... So they pressed charges...
86-... But you still consider this person to be one of your best friends.
87-People call you a jerk on a fairly regular bases.
88-People call you worse than just "a jerk" on a fairly regular basis.
89-Your hair is frequently mussed.
90-You carry a come in your back pocket, but seldom use it.
91-Shaving is done only "if you have the time."
92-Your feet stink.
93-Your feet smell so bad that your friends(?) ask you not to remove your shoes indoors.
94-Your feet smell so bad that people who have been giving you a ride someplace stop the car, turn around, order you to get out, and tell you to put on different shoes.
95-Someone has ever offered to buy you a toothbrush.
96-Your boy/girlfriend has offered to buy you a toothbrush.
97-Someone has ever asked you to take a shower before coming over.
98-You like fire.
99-You are exceedingly good at lighting fires.
100-You love to light fires.
101-You light cars, small buildings, furniture on fire on a fairly regular basis.
102-You know how to make small bombs.
103-You know how to make large bombs.
104-You DO make bombs.
105-You have ever scared a friend while discussing with members of their family how to make the best tennis ball bombs.
106-You have a reputation as a pyromaniac...
107-... Said reputation is not undeserved.
108-You have a reputation as an arsonist.
109-... Said reputation is not undeserved.
110-You've ever been depressed.
111-You've ever been in an uncontrolled rage.
112-You lose your temper at bad times, ie school, work, etc.
113-You've thrown furniture...
114-... At home...
115-... At school...
116-... At another human.
117-You diss people you don't know without any apparent reason.
118-You've ever beaten a person up and left visible marks.
119-You've ever beaten a family member up and left visible marks.
120-You're known for starting fights with random people.
121-You are suicidal.
122-You are homicidal.
123-You are known as a drinker.
124-... Said reputation is not undeserved.
125-You are known as a druggie...
126-... Said reputation is not undeserved.
127-You are a pathological liar.
128-You are usually truthful, so when you do lie, everyone believes you.
129-People give you the benefit of the doubt, even when you don't deserve it.
130-Superficially, you are charismatic; but if you were truly charismatic, then you would have more friends.
131-You are a follower.
132-You are a coward.
133-People often remark what a jerk you are.
134-You have developed, or are developing a 'why bother' attitude.
135-You have developed, or are developing a 'my life sucks' attitude.
136-You see the condition of your life as a results of the maltreatment you've received from other people.
137-You have over ten siblings.
138-Your family tree does not fork.
139-You've ever bummed a cigarette off your mother.
140-You've ever bummed a cigarette off your little brother.
141-You've ever bummed chew off your little brother.
142-You have the imprint of a can of chew in the back pocket of you jeans.
143-You see a sign that says 'dip in the road,' so you get out to see what flavor it is.
144-You raise pigs.
145-Your mom has been known to take pot shots at rabbits in the garden from indoors...
146-... with a pellet gun...
147-... with a rifle...
148-... with a shotgun...
149-... with a semi-automatic machine gun, illegal in your state.
150-To mow the lawn requires a chainsaw.
151-You've ever used a flamethrower to mow the lawn.
152-You know the chemical formula to five or more high-explosives.
153-You know the chemical formula to five or more illegal narcotic substances.
154-You know absolutely no equations from Chem class.
155-You've made a crater in your back yard.
156-You've made a crater in your front yard.
157-You've made a crater indoors.
158-You own 4 or more "Theft of this crate is a crime" milk crates.
159-You use items, rugs, clothing, lethargic pets, etc., to cover up cigarette burns on the carpet.
160-One or more items in your car is held together with duct-tape; lights, mirror, seat, etc.
161-You have a small functional TV on top of a larger, broken one.
162-Your dogs and you wallet are both on a chain.
163-Before you were 21 you'd fathered at least five children.
164-When you tell your ex you still want to be friends, he/she just laughs at you.
165-You are expecting a phone call; the phone rings, it's a girl, for you:
166-... you answer with "Hello Camille"...
167-... the other party asks "who's Camille?"...
168-... you reply, "sorry Jeannie, slip of the tongue"...
169-... the other party asks 'who's Jeannie?"...
170-... you mumble "wrong number," and hang up.
171-You've never had less than three significant others at any one given point in your life.
172-Your hunting dog is the best man/bridesmaid at your wedding.
173-You hunting dogs have their own place at the table...
174... they eat coffee and donuts for breakfast...
175... they growl if you try and tell them 'no.'
176-Your dogs have more dog friends than you do.
177-Your dogs have more human friends than you do.
178-There have been complaints on your dogs, made by neighbors...
179-... the complaint was "they bark."
180-... your retort was "They're dogs, they bark"...
181-... and your response was to stand in your neighbor's driveway during the middle of the night with your chainsaw revving loudly.
182-Your arrest list is longer than your house.
183-You are on a first name basis with all the police in your town
184-You use the prison as a place to meet new people.
185-You've lived in a foster home.
186-You smoked your first joint when you were 15 or less.
187-Your belt buckle sets off airport metal detectors, and you're two miles away.
188-Your belt buckle dubs as a form of ID.
189-You room and the bathroom are one and the same.
190-You share a room with one or more siblings...
191-... you are not all the same gender.
192-You've been offended by any questions on this test.
193-You think this a very accurate description of your life...
194-... it is also a very accurate description of you.
195-The new girl at school is asked to fill the niche you so carefully carved out for yourself...
196-... this is because she can do everything you could, but is better at it...
197-... or she just has less negative marks on her permanent record.
198-You got detention just so you could sit next to that cutie who also had it.
199-You use detention as a pick-up zone.
200-You could add a bunch of questions/statements to this test. (Send them to icy_blue_dog@yahoo.com)