WHERE PEOPLE INVOLVED WITH MACHINE CONTROL SYSTEMS COMMUNICATE
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You Might be and Engineer if:
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
If you window-shop at Radio Shack.
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
If you have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that actually takes five minutes to run.
If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage-door
opener and your camera's flash attachment.
If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
If you have modified your can opener to be microprocessor-driven.
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts.
If you've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
If your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory.
If your laptop computer costs more than your car.
If your five basic food groups are 1. caffeine 2. fat 3. sugar 4.
chocolate 5. popcorn
If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
If you want an 18X CD-ROM for Christmas.
If Dilbert is your hero.
If you can name six Star Trek episodes.
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 266MHz PentiumII
Processor.
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN
stands for.
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and
you grew up thinking that was normal.
If you know how to take the cover off of your computer and what size
screwdriver to use.
If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.
If people groan at the party when you pick out the music.
If you did the sound system for your senior prom.
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.
If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers.
If you spend more on your home computer than your car.
If you know what http:// stands for.
If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers but you don't remember
where they are.
If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires.
If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
turns bread into charcoal.
If you have more toys than your kids.
If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
If your IQ is bigger than your weight.
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up
to the front to fix them.
If you can remember seven computer passwords but not your anniversary.
If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and
have seen most of the shows already.
If you have ever taken the back off of your TV just to see what's
inside.
If a team of you and your coworkers has set out to modify the antenna on
the radio in your work area for better reception.
If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
If you have never backed up your hard drive.
If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as is."
If you see a good design and still have to change it.
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
your mind.
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
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