I Dislike Women
I dislike women. I don't really hate them, because hate is a strong word and someday children might read this if someone hacks it off the net. And we don't want to make a bad impression on our youth, do we??? But, they (women) are all so annoying, retarded, predictable, just plain idiots, or taken. Is it so much to ask for? Is it that difficult for people to realize that society is not here for the masses but because it happened to be formed that way by the single-mindedness of the few? Do they not realize that people are cultured into behaving like others to make them part of the masses and thus less of a threat to the wealthy, who don't understand that what they are protecting is more likely to do them harm than good? Do they not realize that they can step back, pick the parts of the system they like, and either bend or break the majority of the other rules (a little matrix influence here, but truthful nonetheless) to create a system more fit to them that still works with the rest of society? Why is everyone so dumb that they can't realize that they are being brainwashed into a static life instead of trying to do something dynamic? Are there really no decent women with some brains and a little class (not meaning riches)? Do they really all have to be overly trendy or dumb? What is up with that? Why don't the schools have logical thought, self-realization, life appreciation, originality, and empathy as required courses? Would too many people fail? I think so!!! I can think of a very limited number of people that could pass what should be such simple courses! Speaking of school systems, they're all messed up (to cite the obvious)! Do they judge you by what you learn, which is the whole reason education exists? Not a chance!!! Instead, they judge you by how much you're going to follow some instructor's system of doing things. Why? It is probably because that way the people who follow the system better will get higher positions in society. This of course causes the whole freaking cycle to repeat itself. What about the students that decide to add things to their life and have schedules that don't fit exactly into a curriculum plan? They get screwed! The system doesn't figure that the student just might be advanced enough to do some studying on his or her own without having to turn a fricking assignment in. They don't figure that some students are really smart enough to go through some classes without doing a thing at all, because the student already took the course in some other system but couldn't transfer the credits because the course taken previously had covered all and more of the class the current school offers. No, you have to retake the lesser class, redo 3023 hours of boring homework just to 'prove' you have a clue (as if you quoting the book by memory and acing every test wasn't 'proof'), and then they'll think about passing you but only if you showed up to every class to take the quizzes. It doesn't matter if you skip every class, show up only for the final and ace it with a perfect score, you still fail!!! What the hell is that? Are people so messed up that they lack the logic to figure out that someone that already knows the material should probably be exempt from a class that they could probably teach? Oh, but wait... I guess that is why they don't teach logic, persay, in schools, isn't it? People are so moronic in single-self-preservation that they hinder the growth of the species as a whole. They'd rather have some complete idiot who can't add teach a math course because the idiot will be grateful to them, than to have a knowledgable person instruct the class and offer suggestions to improve the system (and cause administration to work and pay an extra buck or two. OH NO!). Yeah, so it isn't just women, it's dumb@$$ people as a whole that are just aggravating. Morons everywhere are too busy trying to make their lives look better to someone else they forget to step back and enjoy it for themselves. The few that do? Those are the people with real class. Those are the people that can live somewhat happily (except for the fact they begin to realize the ideosynchrosies that exist in every direction around them). And this is the part that makes me feel good. Why? Because I know that the reason I rarely date is quite seriously because I am too good for most of them. So screw the women, screw the men, and hail to the king, baby.
Oh, and have a nice day.
People don't know how to use nicknames.
People don't know how to use nicknames. You know, just about everybody
has a nickname, or would like one. That's not bad in itself. I used
to want a nickname (having people call me that same thing over and over
was getting a little old). Now, I have nicknames (some better than
others). I've given nicknames (again, some better than others). But I
at least put something into them if I intend them to stick. Most
people though? Not a thought. Normally they make up one for theirself
and end up feeling dumb about it (especially if I catch them, for
reasons to be somewhat outlined later), or make a retarded one for
someone else because they think it's 'funny'. Yeah, haha, dork. And
why the hell is it that people are so dumb with the friggin things they
can't figure what's going on? Example: "Let's pretend a nickname
means that I am what it suggests." I mean, if you have the nickname
"Sherlock" it might make you think you are smart and able to deduce
outrageous solutions from a minimal amount of barely-noticable clues.
Now really, although it's an ego booster for the person with the nick,
most of the outside world can figure that the dumb ox is really some
half-brain, idiotic twit that couldn't figure out that there is a fire
while he's burning to death after walking through a fire pit with a big
neon sign in front flashing, "Warning, fire!". That of course puts us
back to the dumb people theory which was begun in the rant: "I dislike
women." and will be added to in pieces here and ther. The numbnut
would rather think it's a praiseful nickname and that he's somewhat
popular than to understand he's a moron and couldn't buy a friend with
Bill Gates's life insurance. Ok, now the people who give themselves
nicknames. How dumb is that? "I'm Swiper, and I call myself that
because I like to swipe pencil lead to jab into my arms so people think
I have bad parents. Do you feel sorry for me?" Yeah whatever. Maybe
"Aa Swiper" is a more appropriate name. A more suitable profession to
earn my pity too. After I let you know, I'll simply call you "Aa" and
you'll know your a dumb$h1t (still aware of those hackers who steal
great material and sell it to young, impressionable youth holding their
parents credit cards). You'll often find these self-inflicted idiot
pointers as aliases to people in chat rooms and message services.
Don't confuse them with self-inflicted sucking chest wounds, which can
seem very similar. You find the most interesting plethora of these IDs
in a chat room, normally picked to describe the exact opposite of what
the real person really is. Of course, the other chattes are dumb
enough to believe it to. Don't believe this? Try creating an alias
"HotNSexyBabe" and enter a chat room. You'll be guaranteed to get
requests for pictures. Even better is when you send them some porn
pic, accept to 'go out' with them, and then show up one day at their
door claiming your alias. That's a Kodak moment. And then there are
the little 'love names'. "Oh pooky, you're such a dear!" They just
sound gay (and some undoubtedly are, for obvious reasons). And have
you noticed that the majority of these names that men call women are
somehow related to food? Think about it: sugar, honey, dear, muffin,
sweetie, sweetiepie, peanut, baby (Well, in Fat Bastards case. I
prefer "young children".). I guess the way to a man really is through
his stomach, eh? You'd think women would get the clue that the
relationship is causing such problems that the guy gets stressed out
and can only think about food. This of course is what leads to the
association of all potential romantic interests to food things, and the
term "chick". Specifying women as "hot" is only because hot food is
known to be more tasty due to the evaporated particles that stimulate
your sense of smell. People are just dumb about what they call "love"
anyway. But, we'll discuss more of the moronic vs. meaningful love
theory in some other chat. Remind me. On to the 'characteristic'
nicknames that discribe people. These are some of my favorites (and
normally include the ones that make fun of people and that people make
up for themselves). They are not to be confused with the meanings of
'Native American' (being PC and not calling them Indians, which was
rather incorrect anyway since the fat idiot that coined that term for
them didn't understand that these folk were gamblers and bingo players,
and not spice dealers) names. Dumb-ass, shorn-head, @$$-kissing, white
boy who walks around stinkin' up hallways with his ever pungeant BO and
gas because he doesn't understand that people holding their noses and a
cloud around him means he should get some deodorant, take showers, and
stop inhaling dairy products if he's lactose intollerant" is a good
characteristic name. "White Nazi" is just stupid, and that's before we
think about the redundancy in the name these imbiciles have attempted
to conjure. At least it was an attempted conjuration though. Unlike
"Swoops" for the person good at basketball, since they'd rather use the
name of some basketball star than come up with a creative one of their
own. There is of course the other nicknames, ones given to people by
their friends (or sometimes family, especially when they have no
friends). These are ok sometimes, if they are original. Giving
someone the nickname "Happy" is just plain stupid. "Smiley" floats in
the same boat. I would say to go with something more like "Jocular"
but it's likely to get shortened to Jock which would be misunderstood
(as if that many people know what jocular means anyway). I can
understand overused names if it's only meant to be a short-term deal,
like when I call people "stupid", But for long term things, let's be
original, ok? Or at least something that is completely fitting and not
totally overused (Alright, "stupid" is getting totally overused. I
can't help it that my labels for people are catchy.). Finally, I
present some good nicknames. These would be names that are completely
original and fitting, like "Geeon" or "Kliss" (things that have meaning
to those in the know, but to nobody else. Can we say perfect?). Or at
least something old with a new twist like "Spazzel" (the ol' "spaz"
name 'cept we added a "zel" at the end), which I'll admit is not one of
my conjurations. So, to conclude: Get original you dumb-jot
poked-butt-smelling creepzig porotic sline (cool little swine/slime
combo), and hail to the king, baby.
Oh, and have a nice day.
And a very special thanks, to a very "special" person, Jason Weber, for letting me know I had the titles switched.
All rants © 1999-2000 Derek Lamb
Please do not copy or use without permission!
© 2000 brmusic@yahoo.com