Disclaimer: Alimghty God, otherwise known as Paramount, owns them. I’m just borrowing. And I will give them back. The song is "A Light In Your Eyes" by Blessid Union of Souls. Not mine. Theirs. I changed one of the words to make the song work (girl to boy). Warning: there was absolutely no energy put into this at all.

I walked off of the transporter pad, and onto solid earth. I was suddenly surrounded by family members I hadn’t seen in years, some I didn’t even know existed. Mom, Phoebe, Phoebe’s daughter and husband. As I was hugging them, I looked around for Mark. I saw him, in the corner. Alone. Well, I don’t think the dog would count. I looked back, and watched Chakotay, B’Elanna and the other ex-Maquis crewmembers be escorted away. I caught Chakotay’s eyes, who were filled with sadness. He didn’t deserve this. The Maquis were gone. I felt my own eyes fill with tears. I blinked them back quickly. I walked over to Mark, leaving Mom and Phoebe to talk to everyone else (well, not everyone).

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Where’s…?"

"Oh, Sandy?" I nodded. "At home. Working." *Shit* I thought. *He could’ve at least said it a bit more sympathetically. We were engaged at some point.*

"Oh. Any kids?"

"Yeah, Megan and Jonathan. At home."

I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love you's" were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free

"Ah. Well, if you excuse, me, I have to rescue certain members of my crew from being court-martialed."

"I understand." I started to walk away, not heading to HQ immediately. "Kathryn.." I turned around.

"Hmm?"

"Welcome home." I smiled, and continued walking.

I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known boy
It was time and not space you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe

Three months later, I was back home in Indiana. Waiting, dreading actually, for mom to come home. Gretchen Janeway was not the kind of person I wanted to talk to right now. My arguments weren’t going quite well. Starfleet HQ seemed to live by the philosophy "Once a Maquis, always a Maquis." Or better yet, "You can take the Maquis out of the rebellion, but you can’t take the rebellion out of the Maquis." I heard mom walk in the door. I locked mine, not wanting any company. The only hope I had was my ‘closing statement’ tomorrow afternoon. I just hoped it was enough to get Chakotay out of whatever hellhole he was in.

Chakotay.

When had I last thought about him? Three months ago, probably, when I saw him being escorted away. The memory brought tears to my eyes, and this time I let them come. I loved him so much, yet I had never told him. And I was now beginning to regret it. I was always wrapped up in my position as Captain, that I never let anything personal get in the way of it. Or never tried. I let everything out. From losing my crew in the Delta Quadrant, to Mark leaving, to that damned monkey on New Earth, to not ever telling Chakotay I loved him. I only hoped my mother couldn’t tell.

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Exactly 12 hours later, I was back in the HQ courtroom, waiting for a decision. Everyone stood as the whole host of Starfleet Admirals came wandering back into the room. And then they sat down, and so did we.

"We find the members of the Maquis, free to go. And if they wish to keep their Starfleet ranks, they may do so." They stood, we stood, they left, we all wandered over to the people in question, and talked. I headed straight for Chakotay, Tom Paris (who I also hadn’t seen in months) headed for B’Elanna.

"So."

"So."

"I probably should let you know this. I’ve been given my command of Voyager back, and this is ironic, but they want us to go back and explore more of the Delta Quadrant."
"Wow."

"Exactly. And I need a First Officer, considering my original one died over 7 years ago, would you be interested?"

"I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. Thank you, Kathryn." I was shocked. That was the first time he’d ever used my name in public.

"I’ll send you details. Right now, I need to see if the other members of my crew would like their jobs back."
"Alright." I smiled, and headed for B’Elanna.

We talked some, I offered her the position of Chief Engineer, she accepted. So did every other Maquis member of my crew.

6 weeks later, I found myself in the briefing room, telling all of my original staff what our mission was. It was, essentially, useless. To go out, and pick up an ambassador from each race we found, and be back in 3 years.

"You all know that this mission is fluff. Starfleet gave it to us, because it’s not sure of wether or not our Maquis crewmembers are loyal. Although they have been loyal to us for the past 8 years, they’re still not sure. I think they’re a little paranoid myself. But we need to complete this mission, successfully. Then we’ll get something interesting. Dissmissed. Chakotay, hold it."

Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in hell or heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all

I had no idea how to say this. I’d kept it in for so long, I didn’t think it could come out. "Kathryn? Kathryn, what’s wrong?"

"I…"

"You what?"

"I love you." There it was out. I couldn’t take it back.

"Took you long enough."
"Excuse me?"

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

"I meant what I said. I confessed my love for you over SIX years ago, Kathryn. I knew you loved me, and that it would take time for you to come to your senses. But not THIS long. Kathryn, when you were ‘dying’ on that planet, I saved you. Because I’m your friend, because I’m your first officer, and because I loved you. When you went through that thing during the void, I came to you again, because I’m your friend, and because I loved you. Anything with Seven, I helped you through, because I loved you and I’m your friend."

Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away

"What exactly are you saying?"

"You took too long, Kathryn. I gave up waiting 2 and a half years ago. I figured if you hadn’t admitted it then, you weren’t going to admit it later." With that, he walked out of the room.

*DAMMIT!! DAMMIT KATHRYN!! You knew you loved him, why’d you wait so long. Cause of your damn parameters? Couldn’t you have said it? At least once??!!*

Considering we left in two days, I retreated to the safety of my quarters, and cried my eyes out. For not telling him sooner, for him not waiting, and for actually getting us back. I actually didn’t want to be home. There was nothing for me. A useless mission, an ex-lover with two kids, my mother (groan), and Chakotay. Of course, Chakotay hadn’t done anything to help either. Just stand there and say "You took too long." God I hated him now. How the hell was I supposed to serve another 3 years with that man? He still loved me at some level, just maybe not at the one he used to. I could ask Starfleet to pull him, but he was still a decent first officer. I didn’t want to lose that. What else did I have to lose? My life? Not like it mattered right now. *Kathryn, what the hell are you thinking? What kind of example would that be? Killing yourself, because he didn’t love you anymore? Come on. You’d only hurt others.*

"Oh would you shut up!" I then realized how much of an idiot I sounded, screaming in my quarters at nothing.

Bee-boop.

"What?!" A very irratible me snapped at the door. Chakotay walked in.

"Do I still have my head on?"

"Very funny, Commander. Why are you here?"
"I came to apologize."
"For what?"
"My behavior back there, in the briefing room."
"Don’t. I deserved it."
"No you didn’t."
"I am not listening to another non-ancient legend."

"Don’t worry. I’m not putting you through that. I just wanted to say, that I’m sorry."

"Go away." He stood up, and left. No argument, or anything.

There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

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