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Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I was married to a widow,
Who was Pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon they two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And really changed my life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
Because she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matter,
Even though it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he were my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up-daughter
Who was, of course, my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandchild,
For he was my daughter's son,

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It nearly drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa...