What you pullin' me over fo' mistuh offi-suh?
I'll be askin' the questions Leroy.
My name ain't Leroy, man.
Heh, all right Jerome, outta the car.
Man, why I gotta be Jerome man? Why can't I be Tommy or Philbert or something?
Just put your hands on the hood Muhammed
*RAP*
It's the man that you love to hate
Coming outta Washington state
Cops don't like my profile
Cause Mixalot kicks much style
So the man is on my trail
He wanna take Mix to jail
If he does, I'll make the bail
Cause I know alot of rich females
I'm shakin' 'em just like this
Keepin' that Porsche in fifth
King County cops don't quit
Even when a young brothers legit
So they follow me wherever I go
I hear 'em on the radio
With a scanner that I bought from the sto'
Cause a brother like Mix gotta know
I'm checkin' them cops with radar
They don't believe I'm a rap star
That my brain is up to par
An I'm ready when they follow my car
I know they wanna spray me with mace
Cause my trunk keeps pumpin' much bass
But they best get outta my face
Cause one-times got no case, give it to me
One-times got no case
The police think I'm movin' them keys
They trip cause I clock much D
They pull a gat an' they yell out "Freeze!"
I'm whippin' out my I.D.
My gat sits under my seat
The cops throw me out in the street
They found my gun ??
Officer Friendly has got a new beat
So I show him my gun permit
I told him I roll legit
Give me a test to see if I'm drinkin'
They claim my breath was stinkin'
They had me walk on the line
I walked backwards stopped on a dime
My female just reclines
Cause she knows I know the time
I'm hip to the cop procedure
They get ya everytime they see ya
They stop ya, they cuff ya
They roll ya an' they rough ya
They ask what I do for a livin'
Should this information be givin'?
This is what keeps me driven
Some cops want a brother in prison
So I got me a few attorneys
Just in case a cop wanna burn me
They protect me from the state
Cause one-time's got no case, break it on down
One-times got no case
A cop asks me "What's my name, and don't lie"
And I'm askin' officer "Why?
Why ya wanna mess with a brother like Mix
When you know I'm livin' legit?"
The cop said "Don't get smart.
I tear soul-brother apart"
I said "Well take off your gun, if you wanna get done
An' I'll show you that I ain't the one"
The cop rolled up his fist
Puts the handcuffs on my wrists
Then he threw a straight jab and he missed
A female cop pulls up and she's pissed
But this cop had K-9
A soul sister, yes she's fine
I said "Won't ya help a brother outta bind?"
But that badge was going to her mind
So she stuck a billy club in my back
She said "Don't think because you're black
That I won't beat you", crack, "hit you with the gat"
Her partner starts to laugh
Oooh, hit 'em again. Hit 'em again.
So they took me on down to the jail
P.L.B. came to pay my bail
Then we called Goldstein and Claire
Them's my lawyers
Walkin' up the stairs
To the courtroom dressed in suits
'Bout to give a couple cops the boot
So the female cop takes the stand
Took her oath with the wrong damn hand
My lawyers ate her up like catfish
The other cop pleads the fifth
She lost her job
I seen a few tears on her face
Sorry baby, one-time's got no case
*SPOKEN*
Mack Daddy
Ain't you tired of that gameless mark smackin' you in your face baby?
Mack Daddy
You better roll with the big mack, the man with the game
Mack Daddy
Gotta big snake, all you gotta do is make it dance, you know what I'm sayin'
Mack Daddy
*RAP*
I'm rollin' to another neighborhood
Me 'n my boyz, up to no good
Chasin' miniskirts 'n the ride is packed
Rollin' to a mall called SeaTac
Cruisin' 'n the cops don't like that
'Round the mall once 'n don't come back
Four-door Rolls with the black exterior
Turbo Bentley, white interior
A Rolls Royce fulla big black men
In the suburbs, messin' with citizens
Walkin' in the mall, looka how I spit
Sloppy dressed brothers make the females blitz
Big long starters, black low tops
Mack daddy hat got me lookin' like Pops
But that's cool, cuz, I'm mackin' anyway
'N your females my prey
'N I'm callin' out skirts like Chuck D
Sista we missed ya, get wit' me
Comin', runnin, your boyfriends gunnin'
The big boss is so cunnin'
*talking*
Oh my god
Becky, look at her butt
It is so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black
*rap*
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Make Me so horney
Ooh, all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
Sweat, sweat, got it goin like a turbo vette
I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
(LA face with Oakland booty)
I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And --, double up -- --
I aint talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --
Til the break of dawn
I got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"
So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You aint it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
"Hey, homeys!"
"Who me?"
"Yeah, that's right. You the fly hustler."
"Ya'll still sellin' that fake Louie, huh?"
"Hey! Don't be turnin' the highside up in here. You don't even got the
dope..."
"Oh, baby, I don't need the highside, just give me some khaki's and I'm
straight."
"Tryin' dis me, ole raggy rooty-poot runned up gangsta? Who you think you are?
M.C. Hammer? You can't 'ford this Louis Vuitton!"
"What you mean I can't afford it. Why would I wanna afford some old fake
Louie, baby
if that's real Louie, I'm Tom Cruise."
"Excuse me, I'd like to buy some."
"You don't know jack about this Louie. Take your sorry self over booth
number 2 for
the crack pipe."
"Yeah, awreit. I got your crack pipe right here baby."
*RAP*
Wooah, Louis Vuitton never made a sweatsuit
But you're swearin' up and down, that you got the Louie boots
So you roll to the swap meet, girlfriend buttless
Rip phantom top on your seven six Cutlass
In the shop Louis Vee is what you seek
Black Knight Cortez slippin' on your feet
You're saggin', droop like a bawla
Your girl starts walkin' towards the counter, so you call her
Oooh, this is on. Why don't you get this for me?
Everytime you hit the swap meet, it's gimme, gimme, gimme.
A little old lady in the back starts to creep, she's deep
Through cazelley's she peeks
Her name is Mary Pong and she's got it going on
Swap meet weed, with the swap meet thongs
Leather miniskirt with the oriental draw
Little Mary Pong is RAW
She says "I wanna make your girlfriend look good"
Start buying all your Louie in the hood
And your sprung, on the two for one
Fake Louie at the swap meet, son
Now you know brown Louie is played
But you're drunk and you just got paid
So you bought the gear, little Mary says "See ya"
Little did you know it was "Made in Korea?"
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
That's right, tell em homeys
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
Right here baby
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
What you need?
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
You don't know jack about this Louie
Victim number two, a rich young couple from Bellvue
Welcome to the swap meet, another dumb couple 'bout to get beat
Out came little Mary Pong, she had the big Louie Vee gear on
The couple got sprung and the wife want some
Louie Vee hat with the diamonds
Shes thinkin' she got that deal, 2 for 1 is a steal
The hat mighta had a L V on the back
But at the swap meet that ain't jack
But she bought it, cost about three hun
Mary Pong said you're the one
But when the girls Louie got wet she started complainin'
Baby girls Louie started fadin'
Now she's tryin' to take it back
But the swap meet don't play that
Cause when a customer tries to intimidate
Mary Pong pulls a .38
She ain't about to get bum rushed
She's strapped an' she's ready to bust
But at the swap meet you don't pay tax
They're movin' out fake Louie by the batch
Me an' Attitude Adjuster stepped smooth at a swap meet
Buyin' much gear for the feet
When we spot Mary Pong with a blank face
Sellin' bootleg Mixalot tapes
The brother bought the tape and kept steppin'
Mary Pong starts lookin' for a weapon
I got a plan 'n' I'm about to use it
What's up with the bootleg music?
Mary Pong is about to get jacked
She had a stack of big bootleg racks
Me and Attitude creeped like snakes
Grabbed the tapes and the Louie and break
The whole swap meet went crazy
I'm sockin' more fools than Patrick Swayze
Toss a mess of fake Louie in the trunk
Hit the gas and the tach just sunk
Like that, I'm outta there
Swift brothers like to roll in pairs
So we jet, to the boulevard fast
Slingin' swap meet Louie for cash
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
That's right, tell em homeys
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
Right here baby
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
What you need?
Swap Meet Louie, Swap Meet Louie
You don't know jack about this Louie
I'm your Testarosa. First gear
Watch me go, keep 'em in fear
Rumble, young man rumble
Brother won't fumble, muthafukas just crumble
Gaskets crank, rappers get spank
Stripes get yank, a superior rank
Won't stop the jock in some American car use a lyrical radar
But I'm rolling, the cartel's tolling
For the D's keep folding
Most Cadillac rappers get look and disturb
By the jet black blur
Me, the Testarosa running like it suppose ta
Don't try to get closer
Cause you might get lost in the dual exhaust
Don't ever try to fuck wit' a boss
High octane there ain't no ping
When I swing on a lyrical speed king
And that's just first gear, listen for the upshift
Who can get wit' this
I'm your testarosa
Second gear, look it here queer
I'm in here, hitting like spears
The rhyme cartel slings legalized dope
Some cope, others get (gunshot noises)
Lost on the boss, it's finish is flawless
12 cylinders listen to the horses
It accelerates smooth
Move or else get move
Run for cover my brother, suckers are getting smothered
I ?cutted? you other ?smutters? rammed in the gutter
My rep is kept, muthafukas must step
The best get swept and let out to rest
Huuuu, look at that air intake
Second gear, passing fakes
Revolution per lyric get higher
How can I chill when my rhyme's on fire
As I approach the end of my tach
My lyrical horse power blows to the max
Red line is reached to the peak of my speech
And I told ya, I'm your Testarosa
Testarosa
Gear number three, get off the clutch and don't let 'em up
Keep 'em all down on these young bucks
Let 'em know big boss is just a bit quicker
Get the picture
Backtalk tolerated none, son
Left you at the gun when I hit gear one
Now I'm in third and you think that's quick
Huh, wait till I hit fifth
Me and my pack, we keep plenty of snackpacks
You said fat now I'm yo to the max
Want Mix-A-Lot for your next attack
Hey, yo, critical mass, yea, I got your gat
Two hundred sixty pounds of pure pain
Critical mass is my homeboy's name
My personal trainer, taking weight gainer
Got the bulk to crush and contain ya
On the tach, I'm like a wind ax
Cutting up air like Boeings aircraft
Time to shift and let my lyrical seatbelt hold ya
I'm your Testarosa
Up to fourth gear, the speed increase
Police got beef wit the word chief
Move or lose, I excuse the wack dudes
You light my fuse and clear out or get used
I go 100 in a 55
No need to lip synch, I'm straight out live
So I'm rough lust who wanna be tough
You fuss and cuss wearing that Raider's stuff
Fake fools from around the way
Knowing damn well, you ain't from LA
Ashamed where you come from son, so you rattle
Like it or not, I scream straight up Seattle
Rip up streets wit a lyrical sweet
Don't peep or creep or you lose your freak
The cam's growl, engine loud
My tongue keep beating 'em down
Rev it up, get ready for fifth
Just hit 'em wit a maximum dis
I roll ya, fold ya, mold ya, I told ya I control ya
And I'm your Testarosa
I'm your Testarosa
Yo Punish, show 'em what time it is
Gear number five, you're eyes get wide
So realize that I survive and I rhyme for mine
I rope the dope and is he coming up, nope
I ain't the joke so don't hope for my throat
There it is, the whiz gets his
The word quiz is what it is and Mix don't give
Sight to the wack who act like Max
And try to jack a pop rap to hit the map
That ain't like me, it ain't cool
To rob another fool them claim you rule
You boot but not me, troops, you like juice
So you hit the stage wearing my boots
Uh ,uh cupcake, I ain't about to get rape by fake
Just look at the tail light shrink and then think
How I left you pink in a lyrical kink
Time to drop to my gears and then stop
'Cause I lock the box on them clowns that jock
Turbo cone is 230 up on ya
I'm your Testarosa(3x)
I'm rollin' in a Nine-Oh van. California, that's my plan
Got memories Mixalot left in limbo, first stop Sacremento
Here we go, hit a club called Bentleys
Want a skirt to git wit' me, hit me
There's a girl with a back like a Cadillac
I walked up and got pushed back
Her boyfriend tell her I'm a play-a
Dropped salt on a dope rhyme say-a
My reputation offends this man
Next day hit Williamland Park
Creepin' like a shark
Spot a bad freak and I swoop like a hawk
"What up?", "Howya like to roll wit' a champ?"
"Please! All ya'll rappers is tramps"
My reputation is stoppin' my mission
Every freak in Sac is dissin'
Back on the four lane freeway
Next stop, the two-one-three, L.A.
The two-one-three is rough
But the Mixalot game is tough
Spot a young girl and I start that gamin'
Baby girl asks what set am I claimin'
"Just cuz I rap, I gotta be in gang?"
It ain't a black thang, it's a rap thang
Censorship is sweepin' the nation
Messin' up a rap stars reputation
A rappers reputation, that's what I got
So I'm finished with the two-one-three
I knock, baby, but it's time to leave
Two days on the hard rock, boys is cruisin'
Interstate Ten, straight to Houston
They tell me 'bout the girls in the fifth ward
You know the boys must score
So we hit a fly club called Guchies
Lookin' for the skirts with the largest booties
Girlies in the club wasn't takin' no shorts
Showin' no remorse
For a brother like Mix, lookin' for the smooth
Didn't need a Houston skirt to get with me
But the nights still young
And the hunk ain't done
So we stepped to the van
Attitude's out of it
The next club, The Main Event
We never think about a dress code
Just step up in the club and let the game roll
But as soon as my boy Maharaji pulls up
Some punk starts runnin' up
He said you don't wanna be with a rap star
They play you for your money and your car
Well my boy got crushed but the girl stepped off
With a rap stars rep, the girls are lost
"Hey yo, what's up, this is Mix I had to make a run
right quick, but leave your name and number 'n I'll
getcha right back, peace."
So the posse left Houston Texas
All the girls keep callin' us sexist
Houston media is givin' us rappers no pity
So we all hit Kansas City
In K.C. we go The Gates and Suns
Gotta get grub 'fore we run
Met a little freak named Stacy
I said I'm not just here for the Barbecue baby
She gave me that look, like Pebbles
I'm acked with bass not treble
So I say, Oogley-goo oogley-doo-goo-doo
"What'd you say?" I ain't tellin' you
You see the Mix game is laced with riddles
It ain't moaney, it's Mix in the middle
In walked my ex named Wendy
She got a fresh Dooney Bag
'Cause she's tired of Fendi
Oooh, could a brother be busted
Because Wendy trusted, Me?
An' ah told a lit'l lie 'n
Said I was a loyal guy
Wendy got mad and she wants to dis me
In Kansas City
Wendy starts to groovin'
Hands on her hips and her hair starts movin'
She said the Mixalot game is phony
Just 'cause I said I'm runnin' girls like ponies
But talkin' that stuff is my occupation
That's how I got this reputation
A rappers reputation, got a rappers reputation
Bring it on down. A rappers reputation, bring it back
A rappers reputation, that's what I got. A rappers
reputation, peace.
Brothers, we've messed over our sisters for years
(years and years)
I said for years
But now we're being messed over
I said now we're being messed over
You done fell in love with the cat
You know what I'm talking about "The Cat"
It'll get ya
*RAP*
Meow, meow, the cat will get ya
If you let it get wit' ya
Some brothers wanna spend alotta money
Just to get a little honey
But the honey gets runny when the money's funny
'Cause I'm hipped an' a brother like Mix don't slip
'Cause them girls will put that cat right on ya
And don't say I didn't warn ya
Go down to the beach
See the girls in bikini's
Wonder why you don't see me, brothers (Yeah)
Should I preach (Preach, preach)
Awreit, back to the beach
A O.G. from the hood
Went down to the beach but his game was weak
Met a sweet thing named Yolanda
She had the go mo-mo's on her brand new Honda
So my boy stepped up with a gangsta pitch
Better come on an' get wit' dis
A forty-dog in his hand and he's saggin'
But pretty soon the cat's goan tag him
Later that night, Yolanda got busy in the back
Of his big black Cadillac
The next day, the O.G. wasn't playin' no ball
'Cause he took her to the mall
Buyin' everything from skirts to boots
Oh, speakin' a boots, yeah he knocked 'er boots
But in the end another fool got jack
'Cause he was sprung on the cat
Sprung on the cat, check it out
There's a brother named Dave in a Corvette
Had a job at the U.P.S.
I ain't dissin' 'cause U.P.S. pays money
But Dave wants to kick it with the honeys, huh
He shoulda got 'em a girl 'n' settle down
But Dave wants to get around
Put the top down on the 'vette
Hit the south side of Seattle
Lookin' for sex
Got a full pack of Seagrams under the seat
And boom, there it is...three freaks
Thick, walkin' with a natural switch
And Dave starts getting that itch, huh
You know a 'vettes only got two seats
But Dave wasn't listening to me
All three of them jumped in the car
Hit Red Lobster and went straight to the bar
But them drinks ain't cheap out there son
Five dollars for one of them daiquiris
And Dave was treatin'
And the girls was sure 'nuff eatin'
Two hundred dollars worth of fish
And Dave wants to make a little wish
A little something that he'd seen in a porno movie
Play BBD and said do me
At Daves house they left him in a cold sweat
He gave 'em the keys to the 'vette
Ooh, that's the wrong move, black
You must be sprung on the cat
Sprung on the cat
Sprung on the cat
Old girl named Joyce tried to put that cat on me two weeks ago
You mean she DID put that cat on you, you're talkin' to
Attitude, be straight with me man
I'm cruisin incognito
850i with the smoked out windows
An' I'm thinkin' I'm raw
When it comes to girls I done seen it all
Then along came a girl named Joyce
She had a black Corniche Rolls Royce
At the stop sign she did something with her tongue
Could Mix be sprung?
Her cat was calling me
And I started rolling slowly
Pulled up to the bumper
'Cause I wants to thump her
So she pulls up into Texaco
And I roll up slow and jump in the Rolls
Now I'm checkin' out the body
This hotty gotta body 'n' I wanna get naughty
Followed her to the motel
Yes, motel, I'm too cheap for a hotel
Room deuce deuce deuce and it's time to get loose
I dipped in the juice
So what's up with the Rolls
Checked the registration
And the Rolls was stole
Baby girl tried to break with my keys and gat
But I ain't sprung on the cat
Don't pet the cat, if you just met the cat
If you're sprung on the cat
You might as well eat the cat
Sprung on the cat
Sprung on the cat
Maharaji over there all quiet
I think Maharaji be eatin' the cat
How 'bout Attitude Adjuster
Attitude, you eatin' the cat or what?
I think it's Critical Mass
Critical Mass be suckin' on that cat
Yo, P.L.B. I know you eatin' somethin'
ME? What you snackin' on??
1. One Time's Got No Case