The ROSS Loss

Volume 1 Number 1 December 15, 1997

Inaugural issue of The ROSS Loss

We are celebrating the growth of the Ross club with this exciting issue of The ROSS Loss. And what is this loss, well it is the loss of high prices, better service, and the headache of shopping at numerous stores for brand name articles. These articles are full of the latest info on the club, as well as numerous reviews of the latest fashion trends at ROSS.

Skeptics Rebuffed as New Naningoo Receives Accolades

No one was ready for the almost universal approval that the new naningoo are having in this country. While quite popular in the Orient, until now, these items were almost unheard of on American soil. The popularity is such that the ROSS store in La Canada had to temporarily close down in order to handle the increased numbers of customers in search of this hot new item. In fact, the ROSS distributors cannot get enough of these items out to -cont. on page 2

Christin Yoo Impeached

In the latest news of ROSS Club politics, Christin Yoo choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga! Choonga choonga choonga choonga, Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga? Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga, choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga? Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga, choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga? Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga. Choonga choonga choonga choonga choonga.

Vice President and General Secretary Under Investigation

After the recent information about our current president, the other members of the cabinet are now under suspician as well. To investigate further, an adhoc committee was formed to find out if there is any truth to the allegations that the Vice President wears leather clothing. As for the General Secretary, her testimony bleeds so much truth, it is hard to imagine how one could write such provocative prose, and then live a hippocritical lifestyle, yet we warn members to remain weary.
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