New Thicker Issue of the ROSS Loss
In this new and exciting feature of your favorite infozine, we have worked
hard to bring you the latest facts of the happenings of ROSS. This one
is 25% thicker than before to bring you more bang for the buck as we know
you ROSS Club members love. Please continue with your feedback and
we will continue to give you the news you deserve.
Club Members in Uproar at New Styles
Very few members of the ROSS Club have really come to accept the reality
of Egyption clothing at all of the new ROSS stores. Again, many of the new
pharaoh's policies have not been looked upon highly. Just yesterday
several faithful ROSS Club members were seen picketing the Maryland ROSS
store. When a prominent member was asked, he replied, "I don't know what is
up with this Egyption stuff. I want my naningoo!!" Sales have been dropping
throughout the empire. The La Canada store had to start sending trucks away
since it couldn't sell off all of the incoming merchandise. In fact --cont pg. 2
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 In the latest news of ROSS Club politics, Jacob Hanbit Chung solved the puzzle
on Bernard Kim's Home Page to claim the title of unimpeachable Pharaoh.
After some time of thinking, Coby finally discovered how to find the message
to Bernard Kim's old childhood girlfriend. When asked about his newfound position, Mr. Chung said, "hahahaha!!! power is mine!!!!!" At the start of his regime, he
quickly decided to get rid of all competition. Of course, that is except for Sarah S.
Kim who will come on as the next Governess of the entire ROSS Club. The entire old
cabinet has thus been dissolved or impeached however you would want to call it.
Christin Yoo, the old president has been jailed for her crimes against the empire, while
Bernard S. Kim has left to start his own club with Grace Lee, the old General Secretary. When asked about it, Bernard gave an evil stare and said, "It will probably be the Filene's Basement Club. It doesn't matter, as long as we have our inalienable rights". Grace Lee declined to comment as she quickly walked away in a very nice suede jacket.
Ex-General Secretary Caught in Wild Living
"Grace Lee, before the fall of the old Democracy, had totally changed", said long time
friend and ROSS Club cabinet member Bernard S. Kim. "It was as if she was a
different person. One day she was wearing a Timbeland jacket, fully acceptable
under the Articles of ROSS Section 4, but then IT happend. She came into one of
our meetings in a suede jacket. SUEDE, of all things. I mean if she just wore a
naugahyde item, we could have let her go quietly, but this is something else. I feel
that the poor influence of our old Vice-President may have had something to do with
it, but it is just a conjecture."
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