Hitchin' A Ride Hey mister, where you headed? Are you in a hurry? I need a lift to happy hour Say oh no Do you break for distilled spirits? I need a break as well The well that inebriated the guilt 1, 2...1, 2, 3, 4 Cold turkey's getting stale Tonight I'm eating a crow Fermented salmonella poison oak no There's a drought at the fountain of youth And now I'm dehydrating My tounge is swelling up as say 1, 2...1, 2, 3, 4 Trouble times You know I cannot lie I'm off the wagon And I'm hitchin' a ride There's a drought at the fountain of youth And now I'm dehydrating My tounge is swelling up I say SHIT!