Om {God} & Bob's Website
Episode 5 - Time For Action
When we
last left our hero he was diagnosed as "buggered" as he had just been
shot and we now
move to the local hospital...
Beep...
beep... beep... (sound of a cardiac machine – duh)
Duck-ter : Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack quaaaaaaaack ackackak
(
I do believe that this
patient will survive though why anybody would shoot this courageous chimp is
beyond me )
Chimperina:
Ooooooo'k oooooooooooooooooook, ookoooook ooooooook
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook
(
That’s
good, I do hope they find the bastard that shot him )
Duck-ter : Quuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccck'k quack quck
(
There's a police officer
outside wanting to talk to you )
Chimperina : Ook
(
Send him in )
Who
walks in, why it's non other than Officer
ChimpAinsy
ChimpAinsy : Oooo' Oooo', oook'k oooooooooooook eeeeooooooeeeeeoooooooooooooooeek?
(
allo' allo', what's been goin' on ere then? with a little dip that all coppers do,
the
universal sign for someone in the room is gunna get buggered big
time )
Chimperina : Ooooooooook ooooooooo'k ooooooooooook eeeeeeeeeeeek eeeeeek, eeeeeeeeeeeooooooooeeeee k k k k k k ?
( I think it's
pretty obvious what happened, anyway when did you become a P.I. I mean cop'? )
Enter Cliffardo
Cliffardo : Do you mind? We're tryin' to film “I've Come to Diagnose You 4 : Gordon Brown's Little Project” and we can't do it with all this commotion!!!
( Do you mind, were tryin' to film “I've
Come to Diagnose You 4 : Gordon Brown's Little Project” and we can't do it with all
this commotion!!! )
And so later we rejoin the chimps a little further down the hallway...
ChimpAinsy : ... ooook ooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeee? Ooooooo'ooooooooook o'oooooooo kkkkk!
( ... and so your
telling me that Chimp was a PIMP? Well that’s funny coz the others I've asked
said he only did that part time!)
Chimperina : Oooooooooooooooookooooooooook eeeooooooooeeeeeeeeeek?
(Yeah and what of
it?)
ChimpAinsy : Ooooooo'eeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooeeeeeeeek! Eeeeeeeeee, e'eeeeeek eke eeek
( I think
that’s about all I need to hear! You obviously had a grudge against Chimp and
so that makes you a suspect, I’ll see you later. )
Chimperina: Eep
( Eep )
And so ChimpAinsy is on the trail of the villain who attempted to kill Chimp ...
Several hours and many conversations later, ChimpAinsy has gathered all the prime suspects into the same
room. The room itself is
quite airy with a nice big window but that doesn't really matter does it?? In the room we have:
ChimpAinsy, Chimperina, Chimp Tart, Chimpette and Mr. Chimpissed (Eh Neil?)
ChimpAinsy : Eeeee'eeekoooooookkeeeee'eeee eeeeeeeeee! eeeeeeeee eeeeeeeoooooooeeeeeeeek!
( It's time I revealed who
Chimp's
secret assassin is! I can say that it is someone in this room! )
Everyone : Eeeeeek
( Gasp )
ChimpAinsy : Eeee'eeoooooooooeeeeeeeee'eooooook? Eeeeeeeee kkkkkkkkoooooooke eeeeeek!
( Yes I'm good aren't
I? I simply followed the
trail of clues discarding the misleading evidence and found it brought me to
only one conclusion!)
Everyone : Eeeeeoooooooooeeeeeeooooooooooeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoek
(Stop blowing your
own boat ( Eh Cliff? ) and tell us for Om’s sake)
ChimpAinsy : Ek, eeeeeeeeeeekeeeeeeee, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek ...
(Ahem, as I indeed said, the assassin is indeed
in this room, the secret assassin is indeed non other than ... )
Tune in next time for the wonderful,
fantaboulous and highly charged episode of everyone's favourite primate ...
Chimp and his
adventures in the city!
Do YOU think you know who the killer is? If so email me.
The person to guess right ( picked at random naturally ), may find themselves starring aside our strapping hero Chimp. One entry per person.