Om {God} & Bob's Website
Life & Death
In the last few weeks, I have accounted for at least 5 deaths. Heart attacks, being crushed by houses, drowning, being crushed by cars to name a few. When you look back over the years, you seem to notice a pattern - those that are young, and female, often leave (by choice) to persue a singing career. Those that wish to persue a singing career that are male are killed off. If their careers don't ever get started, then they have no way back into the show, unless they portray their long lost twin brother (which probably will happen next week).
Everyone in Oz is a model human (physically anyway). You never, ever see fat people. Are Australian diets that healthy? Especially since they spend all of their time in cafés. Why are there so many cafés in Australia? How come there is never any sports done other than swimming and surfing? Weird, huh?
Those characters that have no storyline for a few weeks are guaranteed to either a) die b) hit the bigtime or c) find a long lost relative that they just happen to be the mother of, without remembering anything about it. Another thing, Australians must breed asexually, as you very rarely ever see children on the show under the age of 15 (so they can wear skimpy sports bras). Nearly every female in Australia must be blonde, I mean, they must out number the brunettes by 10 : 1. They must be a superior version of an Australian. Now don't get me wrong, the Australian females get pregnant, but you can guarantee you'll be seeing the cemetry soon, as the expectant mother always has a complication. Are Australian doctors *that* bad?!
In Australia, you can catch anything, you can get ill from anything. You are at risk just sitting down from being bitten, discovering you have 4 days to live, or watching Vanessa Feltz in a leotard.
Remind me never to get sick in Australia.
Actually remind me never to go to Australia.