"Harder..faster "
- Daft Punk
The Cliff Phenomenon
Cliffen Becomes Cliff . . .
It was around this time that Cliffen Schnaffen ( Cliff's real name ) changed his name to Clifford J. He also created a background story for himself just incase war crimes ever caught him. He attended a school down south for a few weeks before moving with his family up north.
Fact : He tells everyone that he attended school for years before moving north
Fact : He tells everyone he is English
Fact : He says he is 18
Fact : He tells everyone he moved north because his family wanted to.
I can tell you that each one of these facts are wrong. He attended school for weeks. He was born in Germany. He is actually 78 and is still going strong.
He and his family moved up here because he was unsuccessful in invading Poland after his german troops were distracted by Polish Cancan girls. Embarassed by this defeat Clifford moves north.
Today you can find Clifford in the town of Blackburn. He can be seen in his newly furnished war room plotting his next invasion plan - of Wales! Or, during the term time, Clifford can be found just outside Newcastle. Although he claims to be on a 'naval architecture' degree, he's actually gathering intel against the Scandavian countries.
This is a Cliff, just not our Cliff.
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